(Closed) How involved is you SO in the wedding planning process?

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 17
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My Fiance hasn’t done much of anything, but a little is better than nothing. His list is:

  • Went to most of the vendor meetings (linen rentals, venue, caterer, etc.)
  • Bought his Tux
  • Helped with the wedding list
  • Helped put together the invites
  • He is doing the card box
  • He picked out the guest book (which I HATE, but whatever)

I think that is it?

Post # 18
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am a bit of an A type, control freak type of personality so it has been hard to allow my Fiance to do things! I do however think that it’s important that he’s involved so he has taken on specific projects.

His projects so far are:

-Planning the honeymoon (he’s enjoying this and I think he has some surprises in the works, sneeky :))

-Hiring the ceremony musician

-Communicating/planning with the officiant

-All things related to tuxes/menswear

He also goes to all vendor meetings with me, helps me make decisions and is the only other person I am really planning with.

Post # 19
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since it is only us 2 planning the whole thing he has been VERY INVOLVED:

we both looked and contacted the following:





and we put together our invites together he did the printing i did the putting together portion ๐Ÿ™‚

Then comes Favors, centerpieces colors (that i picked mainly), and EVEN my look from the dress to shoes (he found my shoes as i told him what i wanted and we both looked for it he find it on his side of the store that is after hrs and hrs of looking at shoes) we do everything together thu i was in charge of must of replying back to ppl, doing extra research..etc i would say it is 60% me and 40% him…just because there is the other part i am ONLY doing with my mom (traditional Persian things) and also the fact that MY WHOLE bridal look takes much more time and effort to put together ๐Ÿ™‚ BUT other than that EVERYTHING is about us and i love that THU it has/will caused us LOTS OF argument little ones but still annoying ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 20
420 posts
Helper bee

Mine is; not.at.all-involved, in the planning process. He did, however, make a statement about a veil I was looking at the other day.

He said,”That’s a nice one.” I asked; “Why?”(-shocked-) He said, “Well, it matches your dress. Your dress has those small stones on it, right?! So it matches.” 

Made my day… Most of the time, when I try to squeeze in a few wedding-related questions, I get a snappy; “All I hear is wedding stuff from you!”. My response to that is: “If you answered me the FIRST time I asked this question– I would not have to ask it again!!”      Men.

Post # 21
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I am so lucky with my FH! He is ready and willing to help with any of the details, so far he has already endured a couple of days searching for reception venues (and he even was excited to look at one possibility the night we got engaged!) and he knows what is important to him to have.

He listens and encourages me with REAL reasons why he likes the color scheme in my mind, he looked at magazines with me and suggested bridesmaids dresses that would look good on all my different girls, he went through a huge list of songs one by one and really thought about the ones that would be great at the wedding, he WANTS to take dance lessons for our first dance (I know, so lucky), he is coming (an hour drive) to meet the dj and the videographer this week. He is wonderful!!

Post # 22
14 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow some of you ARE lucky! My fiance has been going crazy because I was asking his opinion on things (like colors, flowers) and he’d tell me, then I’d change the whole thing a week later. Part of that is totally my fault, but it would be nice if he just helped me pick, instead of me having to choose everything myself. The few things he’s expressed an interest in (he loves roses and wants his nieces in the wedding), I am so grateful he cares about, but he hasn’t done much beyond choosing those few things. He works like 12-hour shifts almost daily, so I’m even having to try and pick out his tuxedos too. GAH. I’m about 50 days from the wedding and going CRAZY. I just want this over so we can be married and move on with our lives! We already live together and share the finances/car/bills/etc., so it’s not like the wedding is going to change a whole lot besides my last name. I see now why people elope…

Post # 23
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My big problem is he doesn’t really like planning or talking about anything wedding related… but I can’t do it on my own because he’s too opinionated about everything!

Post # 24
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Until he deployed he was really into it.  And actually we talked about a couple random things that he wants before he left.  But now that he’s gone, it’s pretty much my wedding to plan, and he has my back!

Post # 25
47 posts
  • Wedding: December 2012

So far, we don’t have a date or a location for our wedding (but i’m doing my best to plan anyway!)  He’s in the military so chances are, once we manage to get a date set around his operational commitments, things will need to move fast.

We have a division of labour already.

His responsibilities will be

a) to organise the actual ceremony – officiant, vows, sword arch etc.

b) to book the honeymoon

c) to decide on cake flavours [he insisted on this one!]

d) to arrange the reception entertainment

My responsibilities will be

a) invitations etc

b) to dress myself and my attendants [he doesn’t need to do this for him and his boys as they’ll all be in uniform]

c) to organise the flowers, favours and site decor

d) gift registry [wierd, but he wants nothing to do with this!]

e) design of the cake

Together, we intend to

a) find venue(s)

b) find a caterer

c) find a photographer

Any other little bits and pieces will be dealt with by me, and he will help out where necessary if it’s labour-intensive.  Basically he’s dealing with the nitty-gritty of actually getting married, i’ll just be making it look good ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ha ha this post is great! I thought I was the only one that had a “groomzilla!” I think about all of the weddings I’ve been to and heard about and every bride complained about how their groom didn’t help, didn’t have an opinion and just didn’t care. Mine on the other hand, has an opinion on EVERYTHING!!! We haven’t done much since it’s still a year away, but he has vetoed my choices on STDs, invites, colors, cakes, and songs!!!

I do have to give him credit though. He does have EXTREMELY good taste and out of everything that he has picked, he has done an excellent job. We have received so many compliments on our STDs because they were funny and they were something I never would have picked.

My two favorite comments of his right now is how I don’t get to see what he’s wearing since he doesn’t get to see my dress and this wedding is a reflection of him too, so he wants to make sure it doesn’t turn out to be lame!

I have a comedian on my hands! Tongue out

Good luck ladies!

Post # 27
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Mine has been by my side every step of the way.  From choosing the venue, officiant, dj, etc. He is also a very talented web designer and created our STD’s, invites and website.  He scoured the city with me to find room blocks and photo op locations.  Now that we are about to embark on the flowers, decor and food, he is super excited!  I have the best man.

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