(Closed) How involved is your FI with the wedding planning?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: On a scale of 1-5 how involved is your FI with the wedding planning? (5 being most involved)

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    5

  • Post # 17
    Member
    9838 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    at the moment not so much, but that’s because we haven’t started properly planning yet, but all the planning we have done so far has been 100% together. the only thing he won’t be involved in is the picking of my dress and the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses

    Post # 18
    Member
    4950 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    He hasn’t done a thing…. yet. I’m sure he will when things get closer. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1570 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    other than my dress, he was very involved in everything. It was annoying at first, but I love him for it…made it easy tot alk to him about it.

    Post # 20
    Member
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Runnerbride13 I guess we’re in the minority! I thought it would be the opposite

    Fiance doesn’t want to help with anything… but he wants to invite 500 ppl… I gave him the option of take on 4 or 5 jobs or hire a wedding planner, so we now have a planner…and she cares alot more about the colour scheme so it works for me!

    Post # 21
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Just as involved as I wanted him to be. He helped out every time I asked and he contributed to stylistic elements that were important to him. And, he made one non-negotiable demand: toes in sand. I did most of the planning but with his full support and was willing to do anything I asked.

    Post # 22
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I ran everything by him, but he’s flexible and has listened to my ideas. At the tasting, he changed the entire menu, and that was fine with me. The only time so far I had a freak out was when I told him the colors were purple/gold, he wanted to wear a gold lame suit or a gold derby – he was kidding lol!

    Post # 23
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    My Fiance has been very involved with the major decisions. He helped pick the venue, the menu, the cake, the tuxes, the music, the DJ,  photographer and videographer. He’s helping with some DIY protects, and helped choose our vows. I have more time then him, so I am doing the little details.

    Post # 24
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Not very involved at all. I think he WANTS to do something (mainly because he sees me so stressed out), but he’s terrible at follow through and doesn’t know how to take the initiative to get anything done.

    I asked him to organize where we’re having the rehearsal dinner, and that STILL hasn’t happened yet. (One job – you had ONE job!) I come to him with ideas, but he just agrees with everything I say – and doesn’t really offer any alternatives or investigate options on his own.

    I’d like him to be more involved with stuff – especially since he wanted the wedding more than I did. (I just wanted to elope..:( ) I also just think he truly has NO idea what is involved with wedding planning.. He told me the other day “I don’t know why you’re so stressed out…all we have left to do is (list 3 things here).” I almost lost it on him and started rattling off the 30+ things we have left to do! 🙂

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

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    @SpecialSundae:, I did all the research and Fiance helped with all the major decisions. He came with me to meet with every possible vendor.  For details, I would ask for his opinion and he usually would say, “Sure, that’s fine if that’s what you want”.  So he wasn’t too helpful with the details because he would just agree with me. Lol

    Post # 26
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My Fiance sates his opinion and thats it. When he says he doesnt like something, I’ll change it. Eventhough I am planning and doing everything, I want him to enjoy everything to. I wouldn’t want something so feminine that my Fiance wasnt represented so there’s a great balance. I like planning everything on my own most of the time. Its frustrating when I am being so indecisive about something and he just says “Whatever you want”……. Ugggh that’s not the answer I’m looking for !!! lol

    Post # 27
    Member
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Fi isn’t overly involved in anything until or unless I ask him to be.  Then he steps up and does whatever I need him to do.  it’s worked out perfectly actually.  We are a good match and work well together 🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We traveled to the city where we’re getting married together to look at venues and we made that decision together. I picked the photographer myself. I found the musicians for the ceremony and got approval from him. He selected the band for the reception (with my approval). Invitation stuff has been all me, selecting the designs, coming up with the wording and addressing and putting them all together. He wasn’t involved in my dress decision but we picked out his suit together. We split up the hotel block booking (he arranged one and I arranged the other). I’m dealing with some of the annoying little tasks like renting chairs for the ceremony. I picked “2” because “3” to me implied an even split between me and him and I’ve done more, but he has certainly been involved.

    Post # 29
    Member
    4346 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted 3, but I probably should have voted 4. My Fiance is really good at research and kind of runs with certain tasks (I don’t want to tell you how many hours he spent researching the items on our registry). Other things he prefers options. I made a list of venues in our price range that fit his requirements and sent them to him (Like 30 venues lol). He proceeded to narrow it down to one, which we visited and didn’t like. Then we added one more place that was a little over budget but an amazing value (apparently it was in the back of his mind the whole time). We visited, fell in love and waited to book it until we could afford it. Then my parents decided they were helping, so we booked it. With hotels he spent a long time coming up with questions for me to ask them. We’re still undecided about which one to make a block at because one is nicer, doesn’t require a contract but far away. The other is closer and requires a contract. I prefer the nicer one, but we decided to poll my family and they voted for the close one. I’m nervous about booking them because I need a lot of rooms and don’t want to under or over reserve. I’m thinking about blocking both and writing on the website that my side of the family decided to stay at one hotel and list the other one as an alternative for those with more adults per room. (Far away hotel allows 4 adults per room and close one allows 2 per room) so the far away one will be popular with recent grads who are splitting a room. Fiance also has opinions on things like the bridesmaid dresses, but some items he doesn’t care about. The main difference is I want the planning done as ahead of schedule as possible and he is ok with doing things at the last minute.

    Post # 30
    Member
    911 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

    My fiance has a very demanding job and work schedule. So, early on i asked him “what are the parts of the wedding you really care about?” He said: venue, music, and what he and his groomsmen wear.  

    So, for everything else, I present him with a few options, tell him what/who I am leaning toward, and he weighs in. The only thing he doesn’t know anything about is my dress.

    I read in the A Practical Wedding book, “The wedding is not a surprise party for the groom.” I love that quote so much. 🙂

    Post # 31
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    View original reply
    @magglemay-2013: I also have handed over booking the hotel blocks for guests, and contacting the travel agent for the honeymoon. Lets hope these get done!

    Yeah, you might want to keep a close eye on that. Smile I was dreading dealing with hotel blocks for some reason so I asked Fiance to handle that. I even got a quote from the hotel that would have been most convenient and asked him to follow through. So that didn’t happen and a couple months later I realized that I needed to do it. By that time the prices they were offering had gone up like $75 a night! I think sometimes men don’t know that when it comes to weddings, it’s always better to take care of things sooner rather than later.

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