(Closed) How involved is your groom in planning?

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My groom really wants to be involved, which I think is fantastic. He has really only been to a few wedding in his life so he doesn’t really know what weddings involve or what it takes to plan, but he has a degree in graphic design so he is doing our stationery and choosing music AND helping me with decoration since we’re not hiring a florist or planner.

Post # 4
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was just thinking about this exact topic tonight! I get so frustrated, because I try to keep the mentality of this is "OUR" day, and so he should enjoy every aspect of it as well – so I always ask his opinion about everything. Problem – we never effing agree on anything! I have played about 50 songs for him for our "first dance" song. He hates all of them, infact, hates all songs sang by a woman, and hates songs that are "too slow". One of our biggest delimmas was location. I wanted to get married on the beach – I LOVE the beach. Nope, Fiance doesn’t want the beach. So I comprimise – we are getting married at his parents house… which I wasn’t excited about at first, but am now happy with. And then sometimes I get the classic "man answer", as I call it…. "Do you like this photographer?" Fiance: "I don’t know anything about that. Whatever you want." The reason you don’t know anything about that is because you can’t take 5 minutes to sit down and look at 2 portfolios, even though I have spent like a kazillion hours looking at a kazillion websites and portfolios. And when I say "this one or this one?" I get "I don’t know". UGH!

So I guess ultimately, my answer is yes he is involved (some-what). But is he helpful? No. I do all the work, and wait for the yay or nay.

Post # 5
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My Fiance has been wonderful with the wedding planning. When something needs to be done he is right behind me with making decisions. Although sometimes indecisive, and a lot of, "whatever you want," I’m very happy with how he’s dealt with it all. Some things that he really took ownership of was the honeymoon, menu, cake, and favors. We’ve had our ups and downs, but it has been a great adventure working together.

Post # 6
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Fiance is so great.  He loves… did i mention loves… to do whatever he can to help and plan.  He sits with me as I go over everything from favors to invitations and venues to the little decoration details that i swear no one will notice.  He is so cute too.  If he dislikes something he just acts like a kid and lets me know so sweetly.  Though in the end if he know it is what I am really dying for he caves in.  Before we postponed our wedding he designed our favors from scratch and our centerpieces.  Now we both are going cheap because we blew so much for the first wedding then postponed it a year.  That is another area he has helped with too.  Keeping me on track financially.  Arent men great at times??

Post # 7
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

He’s VERY involved, its a joint project and we’re both planning it together. To be honest, I was really surprised by how interested he was at the beginning and at how involved he wanted to be. I wasn’t expecting it at all, but its great! There are some things, like flowers and centerpieces, that he couldn’t care less about so those are entirely my projects. I like that he’s involved and invested in the planning…and he keeps track of our spending so that we stay on budget. I’m not good with that so its perfect!

Post # 8
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

Hubby has NEVER been a planner. I take care of the finances (write the checks). I plan our vacations. I plan everything, which is okay since I am a planner.  
I didn’t expect anything different from him when it came to wedding plans. I’ll ask for his opinion and he helps me pick things out (after I’ve already narrowed it down to about 2 or 3 things), but that’s about the extent of it. And I’m okay with that. It actually makes wedding planning fairly easy for me.

I have a girlfriend who is getting married soon and her hubby-to-be is very opinionated about what their wedding should be and look like. It has caused much pre-wedding fighting. I am so grateful that I don’t have to deal with that. Hubby and I have pretty similar tastes and he’s sooo laidback.

Post # 9
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My fiance isn’t one for planning, either. If he were REALLY involved, I doubt much would actually get done. And while he wants me to plan most of the wedding, I also don’t want him to feel like he has no say so. So, not only do I ask his final opinion on pretty much everything, but I’ve also given him some tasks to feel like he’s involved. Like, choose the DJ, look at tuxedos, and choose gifts for his groomsmen.

Post # 10
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

My fiance tries to stay out of it as much as possible. But I do try to get his opinion. And when he does have an opinion, it’s his way or the highway!I think he likes having ultimate veto-power. 🙂 He has been really good at keeping me focused on the main thing – the getting married part – and not letting me get too carried away with the "fluff" of it all. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

My fiance has been great about helping whenever I ask for help. I’ll set him up with crazy DIY projects in front of some game on TV and he’ll gladly punch/glue/grommet/assemble for hours. 

We split up our tasks and while it takes a lot of reminding to get things done, the whole process is going very well. Except for the 6th groomsman – it took 12 months for him to finally ask (our wedding is 2 months away!)

Post # 12
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Very, very little. He house-hunts, I plan wedding. It’s a pact. We give each other nightly updates, but that’s about it. Tonight I’m going with him to see a house, then he will call a friend to confirm an address. It works for us. I find house hunting very stressfull, and the tiny details of wedding planning scare him.   

Post # 13
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

Fi wants to be involved. Which is good …. and bad. Fi is more of a "country bumpkin" (his words) and I’m a city girl, so merging the ideas he brings with his "country background" to how I envision our wedding is interesting…. to say the least.

Post # 14
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

He sort of glazes over when I talk wedding. Haha…no he’s okay at participating. My only pet peeve is when I ask his opinion he somehow always ends up picking the opposite of me?!? Its odd since we both have essentially the same "feeling"/style in mind for the day.

Post # 15
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m a planner & a control freak. He’s happy going along with my plans because it means he doesn’t have to do anything. I couldn’t be happier! Our relationship only has room for one micro-manager lol.

I run everything important by him, but he really could care less about the color scheme, the flowers, the car we ride in, etc. The only thing he cares about is the food, the beer selection & that I’m happy.

Post # 16
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Fiance was great about going to bridal shows (we’ve been to 4 so far). That’s about the extent of his involvement, though. I really enjoy the wedding planning & it’s not something he’d like to spend time on. It’s kind of an unspoken agreement that works out wonderfully for us!

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