(Closed) How involved is your husband-to-be with wedding stuff?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Mine has been totally involved and wonderful.  Two days after the bridal party was set, he came home with a new tux and yanked me down to the tux rental place to pick out the groomsmens attire.  He picked out the china and we had so much fun registering, it was a little mental now that I think back.  He writes alot of checks without any questions and does as much as he can. 

I would be all over that!!

Post # 4
Member
5572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

He is “involved.” LOL We registered together, we met with most of the vendors together. The vendors that we didn’t meet with together I at least talked to him about before booking them. I asked his opinion on 2 different Save-The-Date Cards and he told me which one he liked better. With most of the things I’ll tell him what I’m thinking of and ask him how he feels about them. He usually responds saying that he likes them or for me to just pick. I’ve done all of the research, the lists, etc. I don’t think he understands why I’m so stressed about it all of the time but he’s always there for me when I need a break or a reality check.

Post # 5
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

SO is very involved and excited about the whole thing. And he’d better be – he wanted to do this way more than I did.

Post # 6
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Beluga: LOL, I can totally relate.  If it were up to me I would have already done a drive thru at a chapel in Las Vegas and be done with it!

Post # 7
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Mine doesn’t do anything either. He has the deer in headlights look when I bring up the wedding. The only thing he’s done is write out his guest list and look at his wedding ring. Other than that, he hasn’t helped me with anything. Maybe he’ll come around closer to the wedding, but I doubt it.

Post # 8
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

He got the tuxes and GMs’ presents ordered.  He helped register for stuff at Williams-Sonoma.  He helped assemble invitations.  Otherwise…  he just goes “OK” or “Nah” when I run a decision past him.  He did decide what to have on our invitations (I drew/painted it), and they crack me up because of it….

Post # 9
Hostess
11105 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Mr Wright is involved. We make decisions together. He chose his suit, the car, will choose the rings too plus other things. I’m actually quite impressed with his interest and efforts.

Post # 10
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My fiance has been awesome.  Emotionally, he listens to me prattle on about pros and cons of one centerpiece or another and soothes me when I have meltdowns about something random.  Practically, he has been involved with everything.  Since we got engaged in September, he has:

  • Handled contract negotiations with every vendor and has made them change terms that we didn’t like.
  • Got insurance coverage for EVERYTHING under the sun.
  • Handled everything pertaining to the ceremony site, reception site, hotel block and transportation.
  • He created the wedding website.
  • Has handled all the phone calls between us and the vendors because I hate dealing with people on the phone.  (Usually I just tell/email him what I want and he’ll call and take care of it).
  • Went with me to personally interview every vendor before we booked them.
  • Handled all the spreadsheets for guestlists, RSVPs, budget, etc.  
  • Has been gatekeeper for everything pertaining to my in-laws.
  • Has been enthusiastic about pre-marital counseling and reading marriage books and discussing them on a regular basis.
  • Helped me taste every bite of food, cake, wine and champagne.
  • Gone with me to buy every random thing I wanted for the reception.
  • Went back to the jeweler 3 times and called them 10 different times to make sure my rings got ordered, resized and fixed correctly after they messed it up the first time.
  • Moved an entire living room full of wedding gifts into storage so I would have more room for crafting my DIY projects. 
  • Sat through my entire hair and makeup trial.

In short, he’s been the bomb.  🙂

Post # 11
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My Fiance is about 10% involved. My trick is to take queues from what he gets excited about (he is really excited about picking out his tie and the cake flavors) so I let him have it. Guys just don’t care. It’s frustrating, but bless them, they do try.

Post # 12
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsP-to-be:

My fiance is involved, but he is very technical about everything. For example I would ask him “what color flowers you think we should have?” and he’ll say “whatever’s in the pictures for the wedding hall that looks nice”.

Overall he gives some short comments or answers about the wedding, and provides the money to pay the vendors, but I wouldn’t say he is super involved in the little details.

Post # 13
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

He thinks he’s really really involved, but he has no idea how much work goes into everything. He thinks if he says, “I thought we already decided on X” that means that it’s done; even if X means talking to the vendor, signing a contract, paying, confirming…

At least he cares a little bit. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Mine isn’t very involved at all.. He did go with me to look at a few local venue options but he never did go with me to the one I ended up choosing.. My dad, his mom, and my aunt all went with me though so I at least had other opinions.. He says he didn’t want to go until it was spring because since its outdoors it won’t look as nice in the winter. He did help me pick our save the date out. Now after I’ve been looking at orange Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses he’s decided he wants to wear green not orange for the tie.. He tends to not have an opinion in it unless its totally random.. I try not to let him not being very involved bother me, but most guys just really don’t get in to all this planning..

Post # 15
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My Fiance is 100% involved. He loves helping so I am very thankful!

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