(Closed) How involved is/was your fiance in wedding planning?

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: How involved is/was your fiance in wedding planning?
    More involved than I am : (0 votes)
    As much as I am : (15 votes)
    24 %
    A little bit involved but I am doing most of it : (38 votes)
    61 %
    Not involved at all. His job is to show up. : (9 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3098 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    Mine isn’t involved at all, and honestly, it’s best that way. He really doesn’t understand most of it – he’s just such a guy. He wants to help, which is sweet, but usually just ends up in my way. I get more frustrated over the fact that he should be picking up pieces in other areas of our lives, like with cleaning the house and stuff, since I’ve got the added responsibility of the wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My Fiance is somewhat involved – I ensure to involve him in most of the big decisions and lately I have just been running things by him before I do them!

    He is one of those guys that doesn’t want to be involved but he would complain if he didn’t like something after the fact!

    So to prevent that stress and heartache I deal with the grumbles and run everything by him quickly after I have made the decision… just to cover my bases πŸ˜‰

    Post # 5
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    This is such a major source of frustration for me lately!! He’s pretty much been involved in one way – he designed all of our invitiations, stationary, etc. and it’s beautiful and personal and I love it. But I’ve had to do everything else including the honeymoon and the rehearsal dinner. And then when I have to get answers from him he complains cause he doesn’t want to deal with something for 2 seconds that took me all week to narrow down to that 2 seconds!! Grrrrrr. Just had to vent : ) True, if I left it up to him nothing would get done so really it’s the only way, but right now, it’s frustrating!

    Post # 6
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    He’s somewhat involved.  I ask for his input on vendors, major design elements like the colors and general “look” of things.  He doesn’t really care about the type of flowers so I made that decision on my own.

    I always give him the option of sharing his opinion.  It’s his wedding too and I want him to be involved so I ask for his input on things like invitations, Save-The-Date Cards, etc.  And he’s all for choosing the cake flavors, appetizers and reception music πŸ™‚

    Post # 7
    Member
    1756 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I suspect (hope!) that he’ll get more involved as the date gets closer. But right now, his attitude is “I don’t see why anything needs to get done so soon.” I keep trying to explain to him that if all of the timelines have us picking X at Y months out, then most other weddings happening on our date will be picking X at this time, and if we wait, we won’t have any choices left. I think he sorta got it yesterday, when we met with our #1 DJ candidate who mentioned that he only has 3 non-booked weekends left next fall, and his summer is already fully booked.

    Post # 8
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    Mine is as involved as I am because he absolutely has to be πŸ™‚  I’m not terribly thrilled by wedding planning, and he was the one who was opposed to eloping, so we just split everything up equally.  There was a little bit of a learning curve in the beginning because I was doing TONS of research and he didn’t really realize what he should be doing, so we ha dto sit down and split tasks.  He’s really been a great help, and I think without a partner in this I’d totally fail!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Mine was as involved as I was. We balanced out all the tasks, and I took on all the DIY stuff, while he did the budget, contracts and money stuff. It wasn’t really that divited, though, because he would help me with DIY and I would check over the budgeting to see how it was going.

    Yep, team effort all the way!

    Post # 10
    Member
    3563 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We talked about our different styles in approaching planning. He said he likes to come in arounc my “step 3” which is after I”ve browsed through multiple choices for something and narrowed it down to two or three options. He just can’t stand taking weeks to look at different invitations or flowers, etc. Whereas I feel like if I don’t take the time to look at all the options, I”m going to be settling for something less than what I love. So that’s how we’re trying to approach it from now on–he comes in after I”ve done the legwork and helps make a final decision πŸ™‚

    Post # 11
    Member
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    mine’s involved a lot. i hate making all of the phone calls and talking to vendors, so he does all of that, which is huge for me. he came with me to see all the vendors (except flowers, we agreed he didn’t need to be there), and helped with all the decision making. he planned the honeymoon. if he doesn’t like something that i do, he’s very open in telling me and he’ll help me come up with something else, which i like, it is his wedding too, he should be happy with it. i do a lot without him, a whole lot of diy stuff especially, but he’s been so amazing this whole time, i would never complain.

    Post # 12
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I must say I’m so happy that my fiance is just excited about the planning as I am and has been making every decision right there with me. He’s particularly involved in designing all the paper products for the big day…invites, programs, tags, signs, etc.

    Post # 13
    Member
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2020

    He has an opinion on the food and the cake, mostly that he wants to go to the tastings. Other than that he is pretty laid back. This works for our relationship.

    Post # 14
    Member
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    My fiance goes to all the meetings and gives his input. Hes not picky and tells me I can do whatever I like as long as its not pink fluffy wedding( which is not my style anyway). Hes actually pretty helpful. I do most of the stuff though just because im the picky one.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1134 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I find that as long as I delegate specific things and don’t give him any unreasonable timelines, he’s fairly involved. My Fiance is just not interested in the decor or the DIY stuff at all. He’s like my edit button. That’s his biggest role. Making sure I don’t take on too much.

    Ideas he’s helped me rule out? Making my own wedding geneology board to match our “logo” (just too much work), making my own wine glass shades (really not necessary on the DIY centerpieces), ribbon sticks for church exit (too hard to coordinate, people may not use them, just trash), and a DIY photobooth (too much stress on the day of and out of budget to rent).

    Ideas he’s helped me work on? DIY invitations and save the dates (totally saving a ton of money here!), our own hand-made caketopper (based on a design on etsy), escort cards, centerpieces (with the help of my florist step-mom) and pretty much anything else I can do ahead of time.

    And he was big on the hall and church search and is going to be handling the honeymoon details once we decide how much we are spending and where we are going.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1732 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    He has priorities and opinions, but doesn’t exactly pour over the details like I do. 

    The topic ‘How involved is/was your fiance in wedding planning?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors