Post # 1
My Aunt and cousin are hosting my Bridal shower, Sat. June 16. My Mom is helping too, she contacted all the bridesmaids by email, confirming they were available for the date after she had checked with me for work conflicts, etc.
I dropped some hints to her a while back, to help them know what I actually wanted, but haven’t spoken about it since.
Here’s my concerns:
I’m not sure if they are doing invites, certainly not paper ones that are mailed, but maybe not even e-vites. Not necessary, but would be sweet!
I’m also not sure that they are doing favours. Again, I know they aren’t necessary, but since I’m assuming I will be receiving gifts, i thought it would be nice to gift favours back. In a way, i feel that should be more on me, not the hosts.
I don’t want to be a nosy bride that can’t just let someone else plan a party for her, but this is how I’m feeling. The shower will reflect on me, even thought I’m not the host!
Should I ask via my Mom whether they are planning to do these? Offer my help? Or leave it be? I guess, I’m a bit nervous since I think the last bridal shower my family threw was in the ’80’s, Lol!
Post # 3
Leave it be. They insisted on doing everything themselves, but I ended up showing up early the day of to help set up.
Post # 4
You really need to let them do what they want to do for you and trust that they know you. The point is that people come to celebrate you and spend some time with you. It’s not really up to you what kind of invitations they send or if they give favors etc… if you want to do anything, plan to give each of the ladies that are nice enough to do this for you a little gift to say thank you. I get that its hard to just stand back and let them take care of it, but, try really hard not to butt in, you have enough to worry about with the wedding! 🙂
Post # 5
@Cady: My fiancee and I are planning to arrive early and help with set up too, seems like the right thing to do.
@MsJ2theZ: good point. It’s hard to sit back! I just hope no one feels “jilted” or something if there isn’t favours, but I don’t even know what the norm is, or if they are usually just stupid, useless stuff. I’ve never been to a bridal shower myself, haha!
Post # 6
I should clarify- this is a “double” bridal shower for my fiancee and I (both women).
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
My showers the same day, and is a double bride shower too! Lol.
I really want them to do favours, but I’m not even sure they have organized a cake.
I’m trying to sit back and let it all happen but its certainly difficult isn’t it?
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I understand how hard it is to step back, but you need to.:) I told my bridesmaids early on that I wanted games at the shower (FI and I play card and board games a LOT), and gave suggestions for places to hold it (since they live one and three hours away), but that’s really all I could and should have done. You’ve already told them what you wanted- hopefully they’ve taken that into consideration, and they also may have some great ideas of their own!
Everyone will know that you’re not the host-you’re certainly not responsible for the favors. Get your thank yous ready (I had most of mine addressed beforehand) and send them out promptly- I think that’s really all you need to do- a heartfelt thank you from the bride will be much more appreciated than a bag of candy.
Enjoy the fact that’s the one aspect of the wedding you only have to show up for! 🙂
Post # 9
@eagle: YES bridal shower date twins! 🙂
I’m glad y’all can empathize with how i’m feeling…
and you’re right. I just need to step back and let it happen.
Post # 10
In my family, all showers are suprises, so I have zero input. It’s driving me mad! I keep telling my mom and cousin/MOH about stuff that I’d like or good ideas and they both look at me with completely innocent faces and go “What shower?” They refuse to even acknoweldge that they are planning something (and I know they’re planning something!)
I’m trying to take a step back and just let them do their thing, but I know how hard it is!
Post # 11
If they don’t do favors, or even if they do, getting a nice, personal, hand written Thank You note in a reasonable amount of time is a) even more meaningful I think, and b) completley in your control.
Post # 12
OP, just let them plan it. 🙂 I know it’s hard to sit back (trust me I know, I am such a huge planner!) but you don’t want to be overbearing. Especially since they’re (presumably) paying for it, just let them handle it. I do not think it will reflect poorly on you if something negative occurs b/c everyone knows the bride doesn’t plan her own shower!
Post # 13
I would offer any help, like helping to decorate the day of, etc. Also you can drop hints too.
I get how hard it is to step back and let someone else do all the planning but you’ll be so thankful to not have to deal with another wedding related party and be spoiled and pampered for a change. I am looking forward to it.
That said, I am offering suggestions to my bm’s and luckily she has been asking for my imput. The rest is up to her.
Post # 14
As the bride, the only thing you get to do is show up. You don’t decide the guest list, the venue, or anything else.
Post # 15
I clarified things with my Mom, who is helping her sister (my Aunt) out with the party, and found out that she is planning to send out e-vites, but just got busy. She actually thanked me for reminding her, haha! I finally asked her when my BMs asked me if I knew anything more about the shower, since they hadn’t heard anything. I realized it was time to find out what was happening!
as for the guestlist, @Ember78: , actually brides should have input on this since only people who are also invited to the wedding are invited to the bridal shower (exceptions being work or church-related showers).
it’s less than two weeks away now and I’m jsut hoping for a nice sunny day!!