Post # 16
My fiancé and I have met all potential and hired vendors together and he voices his opinions on things that are important to him or ideas that he has. So I’d say like 60/40! Just because there are certain things he doesn’t care about at all. My wedding planner says to talk about what are the top 3 things you each care about most in the wedding so maybe do that and see how his involvement is in those top categories?
Post # 17
Fiance was deployed for most of it. So he isn’t doing much, but he’ll be more involved when he gets home (the last 4 out of 20 months engaged).
Post # 18
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
I don’t mean to generalize but I feel like most men don’t really care lol.
I don’t think it should matter if one person does more planning than the other as long as they’re included as much as they care for and it’s at least talked about.
I am definitely more of a planner and more creative. But we both honestly didn’t even want a wedding. We both thought a courthouse wedding without guests fit our “dream wedding” best. It was intimate and no frills. Then I brainstormed ideas for a wedding celebration/reception. He was on board with both. I asked for his opinion on invites and he said he didn’t care so I just did everything by myself haha.
Post # 19
I’m not wedding planning (seriously) at this time as I won’t be engaged until the summer, but I’ve asked my boyfriend what his dream wedding looks like and all he gave me was “one with a lot of food,” which isn’t especially helpful. I’ve told him my ideas anyway in case there’s anything he actively doesnt like – unfortunately, the color purple has been vetoed – but the jazz band, if we choose that route, is a go. I think he’s more opinionated than he thinks he is, he just needs more specific questions.
Post # 20
- Wedding: March 2020 - City, State
So far I’ve been the main driving force, but I run everything by him and he likes contributing opinions.
I searched for venues online but we visited them together and both knew immediately when we’d found the one.
We talked about his outfit and I said he could wear whatever he wanted but Injust kept having this vision of him in a burgundy suit. He fell in love with it and ran with it. My mom was SHOCKED (in a bad way) when I told her he was getting married in burgundy, and before I defended it to her (she hung up the phone to have time to cool off before discussing it further lol) I checked with FH. I said, “Is the burgundy suit one of my ideas that you’re okay with and happy to go along with, or is it one of my ideas that you love so much you wish you’d come up with it yourself?” He said, “Honestly I really wish I’d come up with it myself.” So there’s been a lot of double checking like that, like, do you WANT this or are you just OK with this or would you rather do something else?
Ceremony we’re writing together, music we’re picking out together, food we’re picking out together, but most other things I’m planning and he’s approving. Happily, it seems like he’s actually pretty enthusiastic about most of my ideas, not just going along with whatever I say because I said it. Even some of my original ideas I started to double back on because I was getting resistance from my family, and he defended my own ideas to me explaining why he thought we should stand our ground and go for my original idea. It feels really good to see him stand up for my ideas, too.
We are doing diy invitations and some other diy elements, so he’s also happily agreed to help with labor and assembly etc
Post # 21
Dh was very involved from the jump. Wedding planning was something I ultimately found annoying. Constantly being pestered about little decisions just does not work for me.
It all started when we were in his car. I was in the passenger’s seat, minding my own business, when we drove past a poster for an upcoming bridal fair. He said: “We should go to that”.
Good luck putting the toothpaste back in the tube after that. It was on.
Post # 22
- Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!
sassy411 : That’s sweet! I mentioned one to him and he was open to it, beb now that we have our venue and photographer, it’s normally not withw it to me personally. Although cake samples sound nice!
Post # 23
I did all of the planning. I made sure to get his input, but he didn’t really care. There were some things he wanted here and there that I made sure he got, but that’s about it. He’s not a planner at all and doesn’t mind that I took full control. It’s fine with me because I’m very type A when it comes to organization and planning. I have a wedding binder and a bunch of spreadsheets. I’m in my element lol.
Post # 24
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Luckily we have similar tastes and intentions. Whenever I wasn’t sure about a decision I would present him with the options and we would decide together. Honestly though I did all of the coordinating/organising. I don’t mind though, it’s more my personality style and he is chill on that kinda stuff.
Post # 25
If I’m being honest, he actually did more than me in regards to planning but he was only working part time so had the time. He’s also better at diy/organization/more detailed oriented. We did the big things together, like researching and meeting with vendors and picking out the menu, and seating chart.
Post # 26
I did the main planning (I love planning) but consulted my partner on everything before a decision was made.
He chose the colour scheme, but I planned how that would be implemented (table cloths, hanging decor etc) and would double check with him to move ahead on buying.
It was kind of like I was the wedding planner and he was the customer! A definite partnership but I executed the buying of items to get the best prices.
Post # 27
He was involved in every step, but i took care of more of the details. Neither of us were overly fussed or had any semblance of a ‘dream wedding’ so it was easier to just go with the flow. I only took on a bit more because I’m the long term planner/organizer of the relationship while he takes care of day to day household stuff.
Just figure out what things matter most to him and make sure he has a say in them.
Post # 28
Cake tasting = best part!
Post # 29
FH was very involved in the beginning – wanting to go to bridal fairs and visit venues, etc. He was definitely the driving force in the beginning of things and essentially got the ball rolling. I took over for all the “details” but he was still there helping make decisions.