(Closed) How involved was/is your FI?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Mine was barely involved at all.  Most guys really don’t care about the details.

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I found that the method that worked the best was when I would do some research and come up with 2 or 3 options and we’d discuss pros and cons and make the final choice together. Otherwise it would get frustrating because I felt like he wasn’t interested, when he actually just didn’t know where to start.

What flowers should we get? is harder than, say, do you like roses or lilies? This method avoided many potential arguments.  

Post # 5
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

oooh, 1000 posts!! 🙂

And, the flower conversation was completely fictional; we had no such discussion.

Post # 6
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Fi wasn’t really involved. he came with me to check out two venues (we picked the first! ;P), to book our cake lady, was home when the florist came over and chatted for a lil bit, and came with me to see the photogs.

everything else i’ve done and he’s let me have everything i want 😛 all he cares about his special plate for dinner at the reception and our cake tasting good! lol

he’ll be involved with the limo, tux, and honeymoon booking (spearheading that himself – which is why those are the last 3 things on our to-do list!)

and as we get together our music list and get together stuff for the reception he’ll be more hands on in helping our friend dj get used to his old dj equipment and such.

 

Post # 7
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Mine is supportive but could care less about the details. For vendors I researched every vendor and made appointments with two or three in each category. He came along to every appointment and was great and we discussed the pros and cons of each, but in reality I had the final say. I took my mom with me for the flowers since I know he has no clue and for the invitations he told me it’s not that he doesn’t care but they just all look the same to him LOL. He has listened to me vent and has been my backbone but in regards to details it really didn’t matter to him.

All I would say is be careful what you wish for. I had a friend who just got married and her Fiance was a little too involved and she had to fight for everything she wanted.

Post # 8
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Mine doesn’t really have much say. He’s like whatever you want babe. Or if I’m really stressing over something, I tell him to pick between one and two.

Post # 9
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

*not much to say, not much say because I would love for him to chime in!

Post # 10
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2007

Mine doesn’t think that he needs to be involved in anything wedding-related. In fact, now that we’re one month from the wedding and my workload has doubled and I’m trying to get the numbers and last minute items together he has decided it’s a good time to tell me that I’m not keeping up the house enough, and I’m not spending enough time at home with him?! It’s understandable that guys don’t really care about all the details but mine is seriously pushing it!

 

Post # 11
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was expecting my Fiance to just hand over the cash and let me do whatever I want LOL..surprisingly he has been BEYOND involved he cares about everything and has an opinion about everything! I love it, our days now revolve around tons of trips to hobby lobby and michaels and “fun” DIY projects and he never complains!

Post # 12
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow. Maybe mine’s the only one who’s really involved in the process?  My Fiance is very supportive, went to check out every venue with me and even took the initiative to email several of them on my list.  He scheduled the tasting and he’s communicating with the wedding coordinator at the venue (cc-ing me on the email), which I really appreciate as I had so much to do on my plate. He also had much to say about the theme (I had initially wanted a travel theme as we both love to travel but he didn’t) and picking out the vendors.  I think I had called him a groomszilla a few times now….haha.

Post # 13
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wish my Fiance didn’t care. He has opinions about everything AND takes his time making decisions. I tried to get him to choose photos for our Save-The-Date Cards for two weeks but I was not allowed to make the decision on my own.

Post # 14
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

My Fiance is really supportive about what to with our wedding. I show him all the pics that i’ve printed off the computer about our centerpieces, flowers, colors, venues, etc…. and he always gives his input about it. He goes to look at venues with me and he even calles the venues for info. We just had a big talk last night about our ceremony and seating and he actually had alot to say about it. I’m happy my Fiance is involved in our planning makes me really happy. I know as i get into doing decorations, and invites he won’t be involved which is fine.. I’m just happy that i can ask his opininon on somehting and he will tell me instead of shrugging it off, thats all i really want from him. Plus i don’t mind planning my wedding with my mom and my girlfriends.

Post # 15
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

At some points, my Fiance has been even more involved in the wedding planning that I have.  It has been a true team effort on both of our parts and we wouldn’t have it any other way.  We have researched and picked everything together: the venue, the caterer, the flowers, even my dress!  Granted there have been one or two projects that he or I took on individually, but the other was still there to offer opinions or a hand.

Post # 16
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

mine wants to be involved in every single little decision. i love it and hate it. i usually refer to him as “groomzilla” when he starts talking about what dresses and colors will look good on the bridesmaids, or how we really need to do white roses (not pink!) in the centerpieces.

 

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