(Closed) How involved were you in picking out your ring?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How involved were you in picking a ring?

    Not at all

    I told him my preferences (metal or setting style, etc) and he picked one out

    I told him a few I'd love and he picked

    we worked together and decided on one

    I decided and he wrote a check

    other (please share)

  • Post # 46
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    He proposed with his great grandmother’s ring. The proposal came out of no where and I never saw it coming. I am so honored that he chose to give me the family heirloom. To me, it says a lot about what he thinks of our relationship. It’s been 6 months and I’m still picking my jaw up off the ground. The ring itself is a wide yellow gold band with a small marquise diamond. It fits perfect and doesn’t need to be resized. He told me that when he was ring shopping his mom offered the heirloom and he knew it was the one for me. The wedding band he got to go with it rocks! It is 5 marquise cut stones with a triangle brilliant on each end. My man knows how to pick jewelry though. I always get beautiful things at Christmas. 

    Post # 47
    4885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We definitely worked together when it came to picking out my ring. The one I had my eye on for a LONG time just did not look good on my finger, and then the one I eventually did get was WAY out of what I wanted him to spend – even though he insisted.

    It was nice making this decision together, and he wanted to make sure that I absolutely loved what I got. We only went ring shopping once, but had browsed online for awhile with bookmarks on styles I liked.

    Post # 48
    2008 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I picked out my ring on my own, showed him a picture to make sure he didn’t hate it, and then emailed him the link to the ring with specific details (ring size, side stones, metal, etc.). Then he ordered it without telling me so that the proposal would still have an element of surprise. Not very romantic, but I love my ring. 🙂 I’ve told DH to please never buy me jewelry unless I express wanting a specific piece. I’m really picky and I don’t wear a lot of jewelry to begin with, so chances are whatever he picked out wouldn’t be to my liking. He knows I prefer makeup lol.

    Post # 49
    176 posts
    Blushing bee

    We designed something that had all the elements be both loved and wanted in an engagement ring.  I have seen the CADS, but I won’t be able to see it in person until he proposes.  I’m so excited!

    Post # 50
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I was not involved at all!  While on vacation (~2 years of dating), he showed me an ad for my ring.  I loved it, we tried it on (later later on), and when it asked me (a total surprise on HIS bday weekend), there she was!  

    Post # 51
    949 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

    View original reply
    DelaneyRose:  We pretty much ended up doing the same – picking a ring together within FI’s budget. At first, he asked me what style of ring I wanted and I sent him picture examples of what I liked. He had a hard time picking something out for me, so we decided to go shopping together I found my ring online, though, and sent him the link him – he liked it and thought it was perfect for me, so he bought it right away. The proposal was all up to Fiance – he proposed about 2 weeks after the ring arrived.


    Post # 52
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    I’m very picky when it comes to rings, so I picked it out myself completely and we paid for it together, as we’re poor college students and he wouldn’t be able to pay for it himself 😀


    Post # 53
    2165 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

    We decided to go looking together to figure out what we both liked (I was all over the place–I blame Pinterest!). We went to a local jewler whom I had worked with on other jewelry in the past and narrowed it down–turns out I didn’t like what I thought I did. Oy vey. Together, we agreed on an elongated (rectangular) cushion cut on a knife-edge solitaire setting with double claw prongs. Pretty specifc. 

    I knew through these boards and Pricescope that there are much better deals on diamonds online if you’re patient enough to dig a little. SO wanted to take care of the diamond picking, purchasing, and setting by himself, so I’ve generally left him to his own devices.

    Unfortnately, I’ve been doing what I always do, and have been researching faaaar too much. I now know way more about cushion cut diamonds than I though possible and have become quite particular. I have shared some of my particular likes with SO but… I think I overwhelmed him. So, I’ve offically left it in his hands. He has the info and I know he’ll do well. Generally though, now I’m just anxious for the proposal. 

    Enjoy this time but beware the rabbit hole that is Pricescope (it’s so helpful but oh-so dangerous)!

    Post # 54
    1256 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    My boyfriend and I have been discussing this, although any actual proposal is a long way off. We are going to NY for a few days and I have worked with a jeweler in NY previously on some small projects. We are talking about making a visit to look at stones and get an idea of what I like.  I expect I will be pretty involved as I have specific taste. I also have expensive taste. He keeps joking about how my ring fund is going to bankrupt him (it won’t…he just likes to tease). I have offered to contribute as I work full time and have a good job, but he absolutely refuses to let me.

    Post # 55
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Enoch Turner Schoolhouse

    I voted “other”.  My Fiance asked my dad to make it – my father is a goldsmith.

    So when Fiance was ready, my dad took him to get the materials (stones, the metals, etc) since he had connections with vendors/suppliers. 

    All I told my dad was that I wanted an oval stone a loooong time ago (when I haven’t even met my FI).

    He made this and I received it 2 weeks later (when my Fiance proposed on our anniversary).

    I love it so much.  I love that both my Fiance and father contributed in the making of my ring.  Makes it that more special 🙂

    Post # 56
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    He told me it was time to start looking, bc he wanted me to have a say in it. So we went and looked together. I showed him rings a liked, and got sized. The rest was up to him. He went back (without me!) ordered the ring and surprised me on NYE with the perfect ring & proposal ♥

    Post # 57
    319 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - Old Mill Boathouse

    I am a firm believer that people who expect their SO’s to pick out the perfect ring, but are the type of people that have expectations are setting their significant other up for failure.  If you have absolutely no prefrences (or they are so flexible or vague like ‘white gold’) then fine, leave it all up to them, otherwise if you even have a HINT of a prefrence you should give your S/O some sort of guidence.  I see it all the time where women who were talking about marriage with their S/O and when asked what kind of ring that they would like said ‘Surprise me!’ none of them were happy with their ring, and it put strain on their relationship, why would you want to do that to yourself and your relationship, is my beef.

    That said (and rant over), I personally used ETSY as my tool for showing my Fiance what I wanted.  I pinned rings of all shapes and sizes but only ones that I KNEW I’d be happy with.  I pinned mostly Oval, Emereld and Pear shapped rings, my Pears all had halos and every ring was in White Gold.  He also knew I wasn’t a diamond girl and that Aquamarine was special to me and to us.  

    He then had to figure out what he liked.  Some might say that was REALLY specific of me to pin pictures, but I figured I knew what I liked, and I didn’t want him to feel lost (becasue hell, I was lost when I started looking at them.  I wouldn’t want to stick him with all the decisions!), but it still gave him the option to have some say on what he picked out.

    He appreciated me giving him specific ideas and then getting to choose from those and not being expected to read my mind.

    Post # 58
    327 posts
    Helper bee

    Not at all. My DH and SIL picked it out together. He did take into account that I am not a flashy person and that I wear mainly silver jewlery.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by keepitsimple.
    Post # 59
    1333 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    My Fiance and I looked at rings almost anytime we were at the mall. 

    We discussed a custom design with a very high end jeweller, but they quoted him at least $10,000 for the ring I wanted, without a centre stone. 

    So he didn’t bring up rings or engagement for awhile, then 2 days before we went to Hawaii (without my knowledge) he went to our regular jeweller and randomly picked a ring to propose with. 

    He popped the question, but told me I can return the ring and pick the one I want. So I traded the rather un-original Verragio RB for an emerald cut Tacori and chose a sapphire centre. 

    ETA – I should also add that my guy is colour blind, which is why I wanted a blue stone, then we could both enjoy it as he can only see blue and yellow. 

    Post # 60
    770 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    We went the custom route. I went to a couple stores without my husband and didn’t really find anything I liked that was in our budget. But I did get some ideas on what I wanted. I was right beside him during the entire process with our jeweler. I approved the stone, the setting, and the design. Actually, they were ALL my idea. But he designed his own ring too! I didn’t have any say in it and told him to get whatever he wanted.

    I guess I could’ve let him choose a ring for me, but why? We had forgone paying for a wedding so we could both get each other really nice rings. He wouldn’t have wanted to get me something if he wasn’t sure I liked it. He surprised me once for Christmas one year with a handbag that I never wore and he never did it again. He learned from then on how picky I was.


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