(Closed) How involved were you in picking your MOB's dress?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: How involved were you in pickking your MOB's dress

    I asked her to dress in a certain colour

    I asked her to dress in a certain fabric

    I let her pick whatever she wanted

    I had a definite say in what she chose

    I gave her guidelines and let her pick whatever she wanted

    I didn't really know / care what she was wearing until right before

  • Post # 3
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @_Adelaide_:  To be honest, I always really hated it when brides were super picky about what other family members wore.  I guess to me it was always more important that they found something they really liked.  At the end of the day all you have left is a marriage (that’s what a wedding is about right?!) and pictures. Are you really going to care three years down the road if your mom didn’t wear a specific colour?

    Post # 4
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I totally understand having a clear idea of how you would like your photos to turn out. However, the way I approached it was that the photos will look the best if my mom feels really beautiful and confident in what she is wearing. I went with her dress shopping and only gave her feedback about dresses that I thought might not be age-appropriate. In the end it was her money, and I let her pick whatever color and fabric she wanted. She tried on her outfit with all her jewelry last night, and while it doesn’t really go at all with the colors of the wedding, she looked so beautiful and you could just see it on her face.

    Post # 5
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I asked the MOB and MOG to not wear white. That’s it. They’re adults. They can dress themselves. And I want them to be comfortable and feel like they look good.

    I understand that you have a vision but I’d try to scale it back. If you want to be laid back, let your mom wear what she wants. It’s a real wedding with real people. Not a magazine photo shoot. For me, people are always more important than photos. Maybe give your mom some suggestions? But in the end, I’d let her pick.

    Post # 6
    2449 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    my colors and teal/turquoise and red. The bridesmaids are choosing their own dresses  (above the knee length) in any shade of turquoise/teal. My mom asked if I had a color in mind (she knows the colors and said she “wouldnt want to wear white!”)and  I said whatever makes you feel beautiful. She was originallt considering navy or plum,which was fine with me. She chose a gorgeous teal suit that’s just above the knee and will look amazing on her. I’m pretty sure everyone knows she’s not a bridesmaid and it lets her feel part of things to have one of “our colors” so works for me! go momma go! You rock that turquoise dress! I don’t care what she wears, I’m just thrilled that she is healthy (She’s a cancer survivor and stroke survivor) and here! 

    I chose my dress and the flower girl dresses but everyone else gets to choose their own outfits,  except the ring bearers bc the groom is choosing them to match whatever he selects for him and his guys! Yep the groom gets to wear what he wants, too! It’s his day, too!

    Post # 8
    2449 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We’re getting married in a park. I think it’s up to you to decide what’s the most important- how your mom feels or how your mom looks?

    Post # 10
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My Future Mother-In-Law rarely wears dresses. I think she has less than 5 total. She showed me one and I told her it was fine.

    Post # 11
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    How I feel? My mom, and FIs mom, are, well old. They are spending a day  where everyone is going to be focused on me and Fiance, telling me and my BMs how beautiful we are, and telling each other that. I want them to be as comfortable as possible, and to feel as good as possible. I think pewter and champagne wash people out a lot (like my BMs before I changed my mind and got dark purple), esp of they have any grey hair. 

    I vote to let her wear whatever. As long as she doesn’t go with red, hot pink,  or orange she won’t clash. 


    EDIT: the formality should be about the same, however.She may not want chiffon because its not always flattering, but another matte fabric should be OK. Satin, well, that would look weird

    Post # 12
    6889 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Let your mom wear what she wants to wear. Honestly NO one is going to care what she wears other  than you in all reality.  Is this really worth the fight???

    Post # 13
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Sounds like you have a much bigger issue then the MOB dress. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mom. If she is going to have this attitude she needs to pay for stuff.

    Post # 14
    2449 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @_Adelaide_:  : ) yay for so many people kicking cancer’s butt! This is a big reason I’m inclined to relax about the little stuff.

    whats his take on the socks? I’d love to find some fun ones for my guy but he already has all the “cool ones” from Target and I’ve struck out twice buying “men’s” fun print socks online that turned out way too small!

    Post # 16
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I want my mum to find something that she loves, that makes her look pretty, and that she can wear again. I don’t care what that is (as long as it’s not a wedding gown…)

    We have actually had fun going to shops and looking at these HIDEOUS mother of the bride dresses that she would never be caught dead in. My mum looks fairly young for her age (58) and is in good shape so she’s determined not to wear an ‘old lady’ dress, she exercises hard and wants to show it off!

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