(Closed) How involved were you in picking your MOB's dress?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: How involved were you in pickking your MOB's dress

    I asked her to dress in a certain colour

    I asked her to dress in a certain fabric

    I let her pick whatever she wanted

    I had a definite say in what she chose

    I gave her guidelines and let her pick whatever she wanted

    I didn't really know / care what she was wearing until right before

  • Post # 19
    2080 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @_Adelaide_:  I perfectly understand you wanting to choose the colors for your bridesmaids but I think for your mom, it might be a different story. Maybe she’s not comfortable in lighter colors such as pastels or grey? Some women find as they get older they look better in richer colors. Two of my bridesmaids are in their late thirties and my aunt, who is another one of my bridesmaids, is in her late fifties. Sometimes, lighter colors without much tone wash a woman out as she ages.

    If I choose lighter colors for them, I doubt they would have said anything but I wanted to try to find a place in between what I wanted and what was flattering on them, as well.

    Post # 21
    2080 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    View original reply
    @_Adelaide_:  Okay, I’m sorrry I missed the part about her wearing charcoal, which might suit her better than a light grey. And obviously she doesn’t dislike the colors if she doesn’t mind wearing them to work. Do you think she feels like she missing out on the opportunity to dress up like other mother of the brides have?

    You could tell her that you are really wanting a more casual, low-key wedding and not a formal wedding like your cousins have had. I’d do that and ask her to look at some more casual dresses online or in a catalog she likes so you guys could get on the same page. From what I understand, J Crew has good quality casual bridesmaids dresses. I think if you looked specifically for a mother of the bride dress for her, she might like the styles better than the bridesmaids dress styles. I know my aunt is wearing a mother of the bride dress. Here is a nice grey chiffon dress.

    Post # 22
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have no idea what my family is wearing.Knowing both families I know they will wear exactly what they want LOL

    Post # 23
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I get the formality thing. I’m getting married in a backyard field. And my stepmom has looked at some super formal stuff. I reminded her tha it might be hot to  make sure she is physically comfortable, but beyond that I just want her to feel great in whatever she chooses. You bring up an interesting point about why I have less issue having guidelines for bridesmaids but not mothers. And I guess it comes down to that parental relationship, it’s just different than a friendship. But I’m also just giving my bridesmaids a color and length. If I had to beconistent I would probably loosen with the bridesmaids before I got more restricitve with the moms. But that’s me. If she were all for it I’d say go for it. But it sounds like she’s has a vision for what she sees herself. So I still vote to et her feel what makes her feel best. 

    Post # 25
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My mom AND dad are walking me down the aisle. Dad is wearing the same tux as the groomsmen. My mom and I are picking her dress out together. I don’t care what it looks like as long as she looks and feels great in it. The only thing I really care about is the color (I’d like it to be black or the same dark red as my wedding colors) since she’s walking me down the aisle. But if she falls in love with a blue dress, then she’ll wear a blue dress. She’s not a super confident woman and if she finds a dress that makes her feel like a rockstar, I want her to wear it, no matter what color/style it is.

    Post # 26
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I had no idea that MOB and MOG are expected to coordinate with the wedding party… Is this usually done? I’ve never been to a wedding where the mothers were dressed to match the bridesmaids. Both my mother and FI’s mother asked me what colours the bridesmaids were wearing specifically so that they could buy dresses that would not match. Even if she’s walking you down the aisle, as long as her dress doesn’t clash with the colour of your flowers, it should be ok?

    FI’s mum does not dress up or wear make up all that often but she and FI’s dad are superb dancers. She’s picked a really simple chiffon dress that will look amazing on the dance floor.

    My dear mother LOVES clothes and she’s had a wonderful time shopping for MOB outfits. I think she had more fun looking for her stuff than I did looking for the wedding gown lol! We also recently introduced her to online shopping (oh dear haha) and she’s gone to town at Nordstrom. I think she must have at least 6 outfits ready to go! It seems like every time I go for a visit, she’s got a new dress to show me. I’m just glad she’s enjoying herself.

    Post # 27
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    i gave my mother free reign, knowing full well she would go for one of my wedding colors (which i know she likes) and a floor length dress. however, she is one of the most codependant people i know and required me to go with her to all the stores and give my approval.

    Post # 28
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    In my culture the bride does choose the colors for what the family wears, including siblings, any cousins that want to participate and the mothers. Most of the time, the bride will choose one color for the bride’s side and one for the groom’s, or different shades of the same color. In my wedding I had bridesmaids, which are not traditional for my culture. I had 7 girls all dressed in navy. Then I had my sister and two sisters in law, who also dressed in gowns, and I had them wear ivory. I was going to have all the family wear ivory, but my mother in law did not want to, so I had the two mothers wear black. My mom has impeccable taste [when she wants to] and she chose a beautiful black dress from Bloomingdale’s. If I hadn’t liked what she’d chosen I’m sure she would have reconsidered because we’re really close and I know she values my opinion on style in general, but she has amazing taste.

    From what I’ve seen on the boards here most people are of the opinion that you don’t necessarily tell the MOB or MOG what to wear. My experience has always been that you can designate a color. Even my mother in 1984 had her parents and the groom’s parents wearing specific colors.

    Post # 29
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Let her wear what she wants! It’s her money and she should be able to feel how she wants to on her day. Also just a side note, she might feel like chiffon is kind of a “young” fabric and she’d like to move towards something more mature (like the satin).

    Post # 30
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Way more than I wanted to be only because my mother never wears dresses and hates to shop.  It was like pulling teeth to get her to pick out a dress.  I didn’t care if she wore pants but my dad was hellbent on her wearing a dress. It seriously took more time for my mom to find her dress than it did for me to find my wedding dress!

    Funny enough, my mom and Mother-In-Law almost ended up in the same dress in different colors. My Mother-In-Law decided to wear the original dress to her daughter’s wedding that was a few months before ours. Only when we went back for my SIL’s wedding did I realize the dress was the same. I thought it would have been cute if they’d ended up matching but they didn’t find it so cute.

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