(Closed) How involved were you in planning the rehearsal dinner?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wish I was more involved…my FH’s mom has this place that she’s insisting we use – but the meals will cost more than we’re paying for the reception itself, food and booze included! I just want a low key Rehearsal Dinner…without hurting her feelings. :

Post # 4
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We are having a role reversal wedding.  Future inlaws are paying for wedding…my parents are paying for Rehearsal Dinner.  That being said, I did help my mom pick out the food…but other than that I am right there with you on the planning overload!  I don’t want to know anything else about it until I show up! 

Post # 5
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re doing our own rehearsal dinner, so I had to plan the whole thing. Luckily the hotel we are getting married at has a really good Italian restaurant, so it was easy to just set it up there.

Post # 6
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Fiance and I planned most of ours as my Future Mother-In-Law wanted to ensure we liked what was done.  We tried to tell her that since she is paying for it she should make these choices, but she really wanted us to do it!  She more just okayed our picks and is doing all the invitations.

Post # 7
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Fiance and I came up with 3 places that we really liked. We brought menus to his parents (they live about 4 hours from us/where the wedding was) so they could look over everything. Then we showed them pictures on each of the websites. They asked us what we wanted and we told them. And that was that. We decided on our limited menu then as well.

I emailed several invitation suggestions to my Future Mother-In-Law. She chose one and ordered them. Then addressed them…sent them…collected RSVPs.

She tried to sucker Fiance and me into figuring out the centerpieces 3 days before the wedding but I politely refused. I didn’t care if there was anything on the tables and I was busy worried about the reception. It just wasn’t the time to gather vases and flowers and learn how to put them together.

Post # 8
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My future in-laws pretty much told us to pick where we wanted to go and then they’d handle the rest! That was easy enough :]

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My Mother-In-Law paid for the rehearsal dinner, gave us a budget, and suggested….The Pasta House. I told her the one by my house is super nasty (it is) and she told me to go ahead and find a place (she lives 30 min from me and the rehearsal dinner needed to be by my house) so Darling Husband and I went to a few local italian places, found out, looked at their menu options, discussed it with my Mother-In-Law, and she wanted us to upgrade the dinner package to include a second entree. She sent in the check and we had it there. I also sent our rehearsal dinner invitations.

Just tell her that whatever she picks will be fine, you trust her judgement. She’s just wanting to make sure you guys like the food, too. I’d expect my Mother-In-Law to run the food by us for our rehearsal dinner

Post # 10
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Now that I think about it, I was pretty involved.  My Mother-In-Law is out of state so my husband and I picked out a variety of places we would have liked and then he showed her the different price options and she (I guess) told him which place.  We picked the menu and he confirmed everything with her.  He booked the place and paid and him mom paid him back.  Also, I did the invitations, lol.  I put her name on them as the hostess, but it was just easier since I knew all the details and my wedding planner had them done to mesh with our colors/theme. Sounds kind of funny now, but it worked for us. 

Post # 11
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Future Father-In-Law is paying for the Rehearsal Dinner, but Fiance and I made all the decisions about location/menu, and created the invitations, and mailed them out, etc. His father was happy to pay for it, but really isn’t the event planning type. So.. I guess we planned it all 🙂

Post # 12
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t have a say at all. Which is fine, I just tell myself it’s only a rehersal dinner and it really does not set the tone for the wedding. Hopefully we go someplace that is edible but she only wants to spend $1,000 for 40 people so we will just wait and see. At this point pizza sounds great for me.

I can understand where you are coming from though. You have so much on your plate and don’t want to have to worry about the rehersal dinner also. Can you just tell her how happy and excited you are and know that whatever she picks will be wonderful?

Post # 13
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Thanks for posting this! I’m interested in the answers also, as my Future Mother-In-Law said she would be “traditional” and handle the Rehearsal Dinner.

Post # 14
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

my Future In-Laws aren’t local, so Fiance and I checked out some restaurants around town that had private rooms, and sent them links to 4 or 5.  They took it from there.  I know which restaurant they chose, but to be honest I don’t know anything else at all.  I don’t even know if they’ve picked a menu yet or not, though I did request that there be at least on non-spicy dish so that there is something I can eat there (they’re all big spice fans, but I can’t even handle barbecue sauce!)

Post # 15
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law told us they would pay for the rd and just to let them know what we choose and they will send in the deposit.  I did the research and sent them the info.  They did ask to come to the tasting but liked the place I picked so far

Post # 16
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

my future in laws live 5 hours away so we have been very involved. in fact, they are basically just giving us a lump sum of cash and we are taking care of the rest. they will do the invites and stuff, but we are doing all the coordination for it.

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