(Closed) How involved were you with ring choice? Did it affect the proposal surprise?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How much did you know before a proposal?
    I knew nothing about any proposal whatsoever : (24 votes)
    14 %
    I knew there would be a proposal in the near future, but knew nothing about a ring : (18 votes)
    11 %
    I talked about a few rings/styles with SO : (39 votes)
    23 %
    I picked out the ring for SO to give to me : (56 votes)
    34 %
    We picked out the ring together and were engaged, no big proposal : (30 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    522 posts
    Busy bee

    My SO and I have gone ring shopping several times to decide on the setting. He knows I am very picky and even the smallest detail can put me off of a usually gorgeous ring. He has been so sweet about letting me choose the setting, and eventually choosing the diamond. The proposal is his domain and will be a surprise. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I had no idea a proposal was coming at the time.  After the fact, I realize that he actually dropped a lot of hints and I was just super oblivious!!  We had talked about rings/proposals a few times before.  He knew I liked princess cut and that I wouldn’t like to be proposed to in front of people but thats about it.  He picked the ring out all by himself…but he did text a photo to my mom to make sure it was okay (and it is perfect!)

    Post # 33
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
      <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1e+06px; border: 0px; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px; background: 0px 0px;”>I knew for a long time. We’d always known our relationship would lead to marriage, and he told me when he began to save up for a ring! He urged me to begin looking online, at least, for styles I’d like. Before my ring was finally finished (“customized” ring even though I picked a floor model due to small ring size.), we decided on the proposal date!

    We didn’t actually TALK a lot about rings or the proposal beforehand. The proposal was a surprise-ish, and the rings were chosen by ourselves (I picked mine, he picked his) so no discussion was necessary other than “Is this within budget?” (For his ring.)

    I would have liked to have chosen my ring with him, and shopping together was the plan, but I found my ring while shopping with a dear cousin who was probably more excited than I was. ๐Ÿ˜›

    There was nothing in the world that could really ruin the moments we proposed. He knew throughout my scavenger hunt that he would receive a proposal, and I knew that I was going to be proposed to at the end of that day after dinner. The way and location he proposed was still a surprise, but I just looked forward to getting the ring on my finger because I knew I’d love it plus the fact that I knew he’d make it beautiful and special. (& some of my friends would be around!)

    Post # 34
    Member
    250 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    We chose my ring together but I didn’t know when he was going to ask. In fact he asked me on Christmas Eve and I had no idea it was coming. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 35
    Member
    862 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    illyana:  Our engagement was a total surprise!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I had no idea when he ordered the ring or when he picked it up. I was on edge every weekend though before it happened but then he threw me off and proposed on a Sunday (for some reason I thought he would propose on a Friday or Saturday lol). It’s such an awesome moment that it will still be a surprise in my opinion. I did worry if I would be surprised, but there was no need to worry. Have fun!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  mrsblueeyes.
    Post # 36
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018 - SLS Las Vegas

    View original reply
    illyana:  I was engaged once before and even though he saw my engagement ring Pinterest board he had something made definitely not my style. I hated it and it broke his heart. We eventually tales and I had a ring built that I absolutely loved. Unfortunately things didn’t work out. 

    my new SO know we are getting married and talk about it almost everyday. He knows I have a particular taste so I sent him a few rings I like. He saw that and said baby you I want gou to have what you love so out of those five which is your favorite, what size is your finger, and what size should the center stone be?

    god I love this man!!!

    Post # 37
    Member
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016
      <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-position: 0px 0px;”>We had been discussing seriously for about 6 months beforehand.
      <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-position: 0px 0px;”>We discussed using an heirloom emerald but decided I’m a bit clumsy for such a delicate stone. 
      <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-position: 0px 0px;”>After making that decision, we started looking online. I read reviews for places like Blue Nile and was delighted at how much more cost effective they were. We chose final set up together but Fiance hit the order button.
      <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-position: 0px 0px;”>No, and this bit was torture. He had it for about two months before he proposed (with help from our dog) and I’m glad he did!
      <li style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-position: 0px 0px;”>Not at all. I’m a firm believer that marriage is a partnership so good to know we were on same page beforehand. His proposal was still one of the most special and sublime moments of my life as I didn’t know exactly when it was coming. I still caught myself asking ‘really? Really? Really?’ over and over.
    Post # 38
    Member
    1146 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    double post

    Post # 39
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We were a bit different from any of your poll options. We had discussed proposal, even had a wedding time frame, and so there was no surprise that a proposal was coming. However I knew that I wanted a unique antique ring and am/was very picky. So he proposed with a plain white gold band and then over the course of the following months I continued my search and found a ring that I LOVE. So we purchased it.

    We both decided it was best that he propose with a different ring and then we select the engagement ring together. Since I wanted a one-of-a-kind antique piece, it was a matter of waiting until we found the right piece and we didn’t want the proposal timeline to hinge on that, so decided it was best that he propose with a stand in ring.

    I wear the proposal ring on my right hand most days and it’s special to me, but I definitely have more of an attachment to my e-ring as that’s the one that we both really love. 

    I hate surprises…or at least I hate knowing a surprise is coming. So the whole proposal process was not a good one for me. As soon as we decided a proposal was coming, I just wanted it over with. I don’t think ring shopping or not would have changed that as I also wouldn’t want to be blind sided by a proposal. I probably would have been happiest that we just were engaged from the conversation at which we decided on an imminent (as in within 1 year) wedding time frame, but he insisted on an actual proposal. I basically went along with it to appease him but it was misery for me!

    Post # 40
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Fiance proposed with a dainty white gold band with 10 tiny diamonds in it. It was a replica of one that he had given me years ago that got stepped on and broke – he even salvaged some of the original diamonds from the broken one! I knew he had taken the broken ring to a jeweller for sizing, so I was expecting a proposal but it came about 6 months later than I thought it would.

    He wanted me to help choose the ‘official’ engagement ring so we went ring shopping after the proposal. It was nice that I had something to wear while I waited for my ring to be made, and now I wear the ‘proposal ring’ on my right hand. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    316 posts
    Helper bee

    We went ring shopping together.  However, I was not totally included in the picking process.  He knew exactly what he wanted, so I was essentially there to say OH HECK NO to things that I really and truly wouldn’t like.  It is funny because everything he wanted was nothing that I wanted, but I absolutely love my ring and wouldn’t change it for the world. 

    Initially there was no proposal just a ring bag and a “I’m surprised you haven’t put the ring on yet.  You should put it on.”  I ended up telling him I was disappointed I didn’t receive a proposal (sorry, I’m human and answering the how did he do it question got to me more than it should have).  We bought a house and I didn’t wear my ring while we were packing and painting our old place, so he ended up stealing my ring and after the first dinner at our new house he proprosed.  It was very sweet and I was so happy he listened and understood how concerned I was.  It was just the way I would have expected him to propose had we not bought the ring together.  Not to mention I was totally shocked because any form of putting himself out there is extremely intimidating for him, despite the fact he knew I wanted to marry him.  

    Post # 42
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    My Fiance started looking at rings on his phone one day so I could see. I told him I didn’t want a diamond and looked at diamonds for a few minutes to confirm. I began looking on my own, found Rosados Box and fell in love. We both work several blocks from their store so we went on our lunch period one day to look at rings. I decided on the setting, but couldn’t decide between an aquamarine and morganite, so I left thevdecision of the center stone him, that way there was still some surprise. I knew when he ordered it and I knew the proposal was coming soon, but I still didn’t know when. I was really surprised by the proposal. It was so sweet and what he did was so unexpected, all my friends were there, it blew me away and the fact that I knew about my ring took nothing away from it. 

    I’m the one wearing the ring daily, so it was important for me to be involved in the process and to choose something I like. Which I did. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I didn’t want to be involved in picking the ring at all. I casually mentioned one day while we were talking about a friend’s engagement that I prefer solitaires. He picked out the ring while I was out of town and I had no clue what he was doing. Since I’m not really “into” jewelry, I just wanted something that he picked out for me. For me, it makes the ring more meaningful. And he nailed it. If I had picked out my ring, this is the one I would have picked. 

    The proposal was a complete surprise, which is what I wanted. ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Post # 44
    Member
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    We talked about marriage months before the proposal. I personaly think it is something you have to talk with your partner and was not expecting a proposal to be a complete surprise. We talked about rings and budget too.

    When he proposed it was a surprise in the sense that I didn’t know it was coming that day but I knew it was coming eventually since we already talked about getting married numerous times and decided we would get married eventually.ย 

    What was perfect for us is that my husband knows I am very picky with jewelry and I know so much more about diamonds than him, he decided to propose with a ring pop and brought me shopping a couple of days later. We identified what we loved (style, stone cut, metal…) and we bought online something we both love (he had the final say for the style and I made sure to find the best deal and quality stone).ย 

    Post # 45
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2018

    we talked about marriage progressively more the longer we’d been together, and I’d shown him some rings I liked ‘just for future reference’! (I’d been engaged before and didn’t like my ring so was worried about this happening again!) then one day whilst walking home from work my Fiance pulled me over to show me some things he’d been looking at in the window of this beautiful jewellery shop that he likes and wondered what I thought… Luckily they were all to my taste ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sinice December he’s asked me to marry him 3 times without a ring… To begin with I said i wouldn’t answer until he asked me properly, but i did say yes to him the last time but said I didn’t want to make it official until he’d asked me properly. 

    A couple of weeks ago he took me back to the jewellery shop & I tried some rings on, chose one we both loved & im now just waiting for him to ask me properly so we can start telling everyone!!! Eeeek! 

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