(Closed) How involved were you with ring choice? Did it affect the proposal surprise?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How much did you know before a proposal?

    I knew nothing about any proposal whatsoever

    I knew there would be a proposal in the near future, but knew nothing about a ring

    I talked about a few rings/styles with SO

    I picked out the ring for SO to give to me

    We picked out the ring together and were engaged, no big proposal

  • Post # 61
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    He proposed and then we went to the jewelry store to pick out my ring about an hour later. 

    Post # 62
    460 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    When my guy insisted on proposing “the right way,” I was very vocal about what style and color I wanted. I was honestly expecting just a plain band with some kind of design on it, and when I received my eternity ring it was better than I ever imagined. I originally wanted a silver-tone ring but I’m in love with my rose gold. So he basically took most of my suggestions but then added his own personal touch with his final choice.

    Post # 63
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2017
    • I knew about 9 months before, because it was my birthday trip to DisneyWorld.
    • We talked engagement 9 months before the big day. I didn’t start actually shopping until about 6 months before.
    • I did 3 trips with Fiance, and two trips by myself.
    • At first we went with my top 3 picks, then I fell in love with MY engagement ring and he was happier and less stressed, because it was the one 🙂
    • I knew the day it was going to happen, but I didn’t know when, plus, I was at DisneyWorld for my birthday so I was already floating on clouds. It was beyond all my expectations and so our style. We don’t mind that others raise their eyebrows that I “knew” about the ring, tbh I expected it from my side of the family, at the end of the day, it was so perfect for us. It was also all on our terms together, equally, we made every decision together and I wouldn’t change a thing.
    Post # 64
    697 posts
    Busy bee

    Though my SO and I are not yet engaged, I would vote “we picked it out together, no big proposal” because that’s pretty much what we are planing on doing!

    Post # 65
    7319 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    My experience was a combination of your last three answers. My ring is the result of a joint effort, combining what was most important to each of us and also included the element of surprise.

    When we first started talking about rings, he said he thought white stones were boring and would prefer a blue stone. I was fine with that (blue is one of my favorite colors) and let him know that my preference would be for a sapphire (his birth stone) that was a lighter blue shade. All of that was worked out pretty easily.

    We were a bit less in harmony when it came to the setting, though. We have VERY different taste- he preferred more elaborate, geometric, angular settings and I wanted more curves and simplicity. We ended up with a combination that leans more toward my taste- a double prong solitaire where the lines of the head curve up the sides of the stone but with a flat band that incorporates a bit of a modern look.

    The way he surprised me was to source two different stones, let me look at both and examine and explore them (to find out what my preference was and also to confirm that I liked both no matter what he chose), then he only kept one stone and wouldn’t tell me which one it was.

    I absolutely adore my ring. I think I might have loved it even if he’d gotten something that was less to my taste but I had fun with our process and it feels like it’s a beautiful representation of what was most important to each of us. I also found out recently that if I’d really wanted a diamond or some other kind of ring, he would have gone on and gotten me that. But I like that we both considered what was most important to each other (and we both used our veto powers a few times as well) I think my ring is a lovely example of how well we work together. 😊

    Post # 66
    1990 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We talked about getting engaged for nearly 2 years before it happened.  About a year before the engagement, I started obsessivley sending him photos and links to rings that I liked.  He wouldn’t take me ring shopping because he wanted it to be a surprise though. Ultimately, he picked one of the hundred or so rings I sent him, and popped the question. Though I knew it was coming, the proposal still felt like a surprise. I didn’t know when he bought the ring, which ring he chose, or when he’d propose. Before it happened I kept thinking in my head, this would be the perfect time for a proposal (it was a nice romantic weekend), but there’s no way he’s romantic enough to pull one off right now. Boy, was I wrong! I was stunned!

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