Post # 1
I am a bridesmaid. I just received an email about the upcoming bachelorette party for the bride. My question is on the cost. Obviously the bride does not pay. I believe it is split among all of the maids. Is it better to assign a round figure before and ask for it or total up the cost that have been figured out (so the detailed amounts for known items and ballparks for things like dinner) and then split it?
The reason I ask is that this email said they want to rent a limo, go to dinner and get drinks. They also want invitations and decorations. So they are asking for $100 per bridesmaid. That will make $700 total for the pot. This will not include our individual dinners. That seems alot to me for limo, decorations, invitations and her dinner and drinks. The limo would likely be around $400 so is $300 too much for her dinner drinks, invitations and decorations. If there is extra left over what is done with it?
My first time for this so was not really sure. I dont know if I should question the Maid/Matron of Honor as to her figures or let it go.
Post # 3
That is quite a bit! I would think $700 would be a VACATION! LOL!!!!
Post # 4
figure out the total cost for the limo, invites, etc. and divide by the number of bridesmaids. at the party, 2 people can split her dinner check, and then the others can take turns buying her drinks, for example.
Post # 5
I would chip in up front for the cost that have a definite number, (limo, decorations, invitations, etc). Then one or two people can pay for dinner and drinks and everyone can reimburse them.
Post # 6
I think it’s best to figure out the cost before hand so everyone knows what to expect. I also think that in that cost there should be a cushion for the brides drinks and dinner. If there happens to be any left over funds that can be used to offset the bridal parties dinner or drinks.
Post # 7
That was my thinking, that we should have actual numbers for the various expenses. But can I go back to the Maid/Matron of Honor and say I want to see your expense sheet? I dont know if she even has one or if she is guestimating. Can I ask her if she has researched the cost for these things or not? Would that be rude. $100 each before our own meal just seems a lot. It may all be the limo though.
Post # 8
I think that you should ballpark how much it will cost beforehand and then split things evenly afterward.
Post # 9
I think its hard to guesstimate most of those costs. How is the Maid/Matron of Honor supposed to know how much the bride’s dinner and drinks are supposed to cost? I think she is probably being overly cautious because its a lot easier to over estimate how much it will cost and get the $ upfront than to chase people down for it later if say, she only said $50, and it ended up costing more which she had to front herself. I actually don’t think $100 is that unreasonable considering you are getting a limo. The wedding I am in, we are each chipping in $60 to just cover the costs of the dinner (take out not at a restaurant) , decorations, snacks and the limo. We’ll all chip in more to cover the bride’s drinks etc. when we are out. I assume that I’ll spend about $100 total. The big difference between this party and yours is that you are going out to dinner. If you are concerned about costs, maybe you can suggest an alternative, like ordering pizza, chinese, etc. and relaxing at someone’s house before you go out. You can buy beer and wine much cheaper than it would cost you at a restaurant.
Maybe just ask the Maid/Matron of Honor how any leftover money will be split up. I don’t think thats an unreasonable question. If you are really concerned about budget, maybe you can take your own transportation instead of going in the limo, and just chip in for the bride’s dinner and limo costs but not your own limo costs.
Post # 10
Is it just the bridesmaids or are more girls coming? For every party I’ve been to, it’s been split more or less evenly amongst everyone but the bride – the Maid/Matron of Honor makes an estimate and then collects the checks ahead of time. But I’ve never been to one w/ decorations and invites.
Post # 11
With the exception of the one that I hosted, the others had a base cost that was split among the ladies, regardless of whether or not they were in the bridal party with a few extra bucks kicked in for the brides drinks. It’s entirely possible that you may get the extra back at the end of the night or it may be kicked in for a gift. I would double check the figure and ask the person in charge for an estimated breakdown so you can see where your money goes.
Limo for 4 hours: $400 (don’t forget driver tip!)
Decor & accessories: $50 (sashes, crown, favors)
Bride’s dinner & drinks for the night: $75-100 (depending on dinner location and what she drinks… if she drinks martinis those are 8-10 a piece.)
right there you’re at $600. If you’re not going out after, my guess is that the extra $100 is just a buffer and any left over shoudl go back to the person or be tossed in for a gift remembering the night.
for cost comparason:
1) Vineyard tour, all day party… 12 total, 11 split cost. 3 vineyard tours, samples, lunch, bride’s cost, and then dinner were about $100 bucks each. Whatever we didn’t use went to the impromptu dinner party and a bottle of wine from each vineyard we hit for the bride.
2) Dinner and dancing… probably about 50/each.. no limo, about 6 of us I think. Dinner was a pizza place (a nice one) with apps and drinks, divied by 5.. about $20-30 each. Club entry was free.. and everyone took turns buying rounds at about 20-30 each round.
Post # 12
I think its just us 7 bridesmaids (including MOH) and bride. I can see decorations yes. But the invites threw me as its just us bridesmaids and we already know about it.
Thanks everyone. I feel better about it. I think budgetwise I can do it. I expected this when I became a bridesmaid so I am prepared. Just wanted to get some opinions on the price. Should be fun.
Now if I can just get over my jealousy about her getting a cool bachelorette party I will be fine. In 2009, my Maid/Matron of Honor was my mother and she lived in another state. Never really got a true bachelorette party. ;P
Post # 13
@almostmrsc: Thanks for the breakdown and samples. That helps. Not having been to one it helps to know the average out there.
Post # 14
I would figure out what you want to do, ask the girls what they can afford to spend and then find something to do within that price point. Split the cost evenly if possible. If one girl can only afford $100 and everyone else can afford $300 then you might want to pick up her tab so she can join in.