Post # 1
(Going anon because Fiance and Fam know I’m on here)
You know, being a second time wife, first time bride creates a lot of emotional ups and downs about getting married. Like, why the HECK do I have to be the one to coordinate where the kids go on the wedding night?
First, my mom said she would do it. Then she backed out.
So Fiance just looks to me to fix it. So I call my sister. She says, maybe she can get her step-son to do it.
THEN, FI’s mom starts texting me about what’s going on with the kids, does she need to watch the kids? And I really don’t want to ask them to do that because FI’s parents are really fun and I know they want to stay up and party with us after the reception.
Why isn’t Fiance figuring this out? Why am I the one who has to figure out what to do with his children so that he and I can be alone on our wedding night? It just doesn’t feel fair. Sometimes I get so angry that he’s already done all of this, and now I’m coming in and trying to string together a second-round pick left over from the scraps of before.
I am a drama queen.
Post # 3
I understand completely. Between Fiance and I we have 5 children and even though our wedding is next year, I’ve been thinking about this same thing! To make my situation worse one of his children has behavioral/anger issues which means that no one (even his family) wants to watch him for an extended period of time.
I don’t have any advice for you but wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. It doesn’t seem fair that you have to be the one do handle it.
This might be a dumb question, but what about the mother of his children? If that isn’t an option perhaps hire a babysitter to watch them for the evening.
Whatever you do, you should talk to your Fiance. They are his children and needs to help you in finding care for them that evening. Good luck!
Post # 5
I can understand some of what you’re experiencing, since I had never been married before, and I married a man who had been married for more than two decades and had multiple children, two of whom were ‘tweens/very young teens at the time of our wedding.
I’m sure it’s difficult for you and your Fiance to feel carefree and focused on your wedding and wedding-related events when you — especially he — have the responsibilities of being a parent. However, I do not at all understand why the responsibility for arranging for the children’s care would fall to YOU instead of to their father. My then-FI/now-DH took care of making all the arrangements for the care of his minor children on our wedding night and throughout our honeymoon. I did not need to become involved in those details, and I don’t understand why your Fiance is leaving that to you when you have so many other wedding details to oversee.
Post # 6
Tell him to figure it out.problem solved.lol
Post # 7
Thanks ladies. I am being a little unfair to him, which is why I’m using a psuedonym here. It’s not like he told me to take care of it, or anything. He just litterally doesn’t have anyone who could do it. He only has one sister and his parents that he could ask, and I have told him that I don’t want his sister or parents to go to bed early with the kids.
(Ex is not an option because we’re doing a semi-destination and we both want the kids there for the ceremony and reception, just not the wedding night)
It’s really my own fault because I just took the reigns on this one without talking to him about it. It’s just really stressful to try to hunt someone down who will do this for us, find someone who was going to go to bed anyway so that I don’t ruin their night, and not think about the fact that I want to pout and stomp my feet because it’s my wedding night and I have to find a babysitter. That is just something that I never thought I would have to do in my life.