Post # 1
My boyfriend always sleeps with the fan on. The other night before we went to bed, he forgot to turn it on. When I woke up to go to work, he was asleep but he looked really uncomfortable, so I turned the fan on for him. His body instantly relaxed and he looked way more comfortable. I thought it was pretty funny so when I got home I told him, “Hey, don’t forget to turn the fan on tonight! I turned the fan on before I left and you looked so much happier after I did! It was like giving an unhappy baby a bottle!”
I think somehow what he heard was, “You are a big f-ing crybaby” because his reaction was ridiculous. The more I tried to explain that it was just a harmless (and maybe bad?) analogy, the angrier and more offended he got. Finally we just went to bed angry and not speaking, and the next day I just let it go. Everything was ok until last night I said something else that was not offensive at all and he made a face like he didn’t like my comment. At that point I felt the need to bring up what I had meant the previous night, and instead of getting over it, he got MORE angry and it was another night of not speaking.
I think this is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t think I should have to be sorry at all for what I said, considering that nothing I said was the least bit offensive. I’m actually worried about how his ultra sensitive nature is going to affect our ability to communicate. He sees everything as a personal attack and does not like to talk things out.
What should I do? I’m not sure how to approach him about this but I sure as hell am not going to let this one go.
Post # 3
I know exactly what you meant. When we are uncomfortable we are tense and probably grimacing. It’s just a comment on human nature and how the entire body might tense up without you even realizing it.
I’m not sure how you get “crybaby” from that…
Post # 4
Eh… It was sweet what you did, and I think what you had said to him was fine until the last part… IMO the “giving a baby a bottle” was the thing he likely took offense at.
Post # 5
Erm, he needs pull his superman training pants out of his toosh and get over it.
Post # 6
Yeesh. If he reacts this badly to nothing at all, then what the hell is he going to do when real problems occur?
I admit I can sometimes be hypersensitive to things (and the weirdest things), but I don’t shut down and not talk it out.
Post # 7
Yea, he needs to get over it. It’s really not that serious. Both of you should agree that there was a miscommunication and let it go.
Post # 8
That is pretty intensely sensitive. What on earth is there to be offended about?
Post # 9
@mrs_pudding_pop: but what I don’t get is, how is that at all offensive? I’m just making an analogy. I know that’s what offended him, but why? If I said, “Wow, you run really fast, like a cheetah,” does that mean I’m calling you a cheetah?
I admit that I’m not great with words, but this is hardly a reason to not speak for two days.
Post # 10
Wow…you need to talk with him about your worries about communication issues. If he takes offense to that I fear that you’re doomed.
Post # 11
“I’m a man! A real man! A manly man! I’m no baby man! How dare you! I don’t drink bottles! I don’t spitup…. I’m a man… *sob*….love me….”
Post # 12
@BruinBeeMPH: I think what he heard sounds like the truth – he is a big baby. Seriously, people get offended over the stupidest things. I would be concerned about his ability to communicate like a grown up too.
Post # 13
@BruinBeeMPH: I admit I can be a bit sensitive at times, so I could see how he’d be sensitive to this, but I totally agree it’s not something to not speak to someone over 2 days (or at all!) for. I’d get offended then be laughing five minutes later.
Post # 15
Post # 16
Sounds like someone is on his manstrual cycle. Lol.
Just try to calmly ask him why he feels like you’re attacking him. That you’re not attacking him, you’re just trying to figure out exactly what is making him mad. Try to use words like “mad” instead of “upset”, etc. That way he won’t feel like you’re babying him or making him feel emotional (woman-like, if you will). If he continues to get mad and act like a 3 year old, then you just need to let it go for awhile.