How late can someone be before it’s unacceptable?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would be annoyed at 40 minutes. I probably would have left at 30 minutes if I hadn’t heard anything from her.

I think my max waiting time before getting annoyed is about 15-20 minutes. 

Post # 3
4245 posts
Honey bee

I think 15 minutes is the max amount of reasonable time, unless they let you know that they’re running late- but if that starts happening often, that’s not acceptable either.

Post # 4
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

i have a few friends who always are late. its hard to meet up with people like this because they dooo nooott care about anyone but themselves. yet i love her!!! so maybe switch it up next time, meet her at her house and to go together or tell her to text you when she is there cuz she is a lag!

Post # 5
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

This is the second time in how many years? If it’s a good friend or family I will wait an hour. But I’d tell her off the 4th time it happens in a close time frame.

If this is anyone else and i feel generous, I’ll wait 30min. If I’m meeting a stranger (like a date or selling something to them off Craigslist) then 15min, don’t waste my time.

Post # 6
14949 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

15 minutes with no notice.  More if I’m being updated and there’s a good reason.

Post # 7
1368 posts
Bumble bee

Being significantly late is rude almost no matter what, but the situation does make something of a difference. If people are late for a movie, for instance, you run the risk of missing the movie and ruining the plans entirely. If dinner, it’s pretty rude as the waiting party may be damn hungry. 

On the other hand, my friends and I used to get together in a big group at one person’s house almost every weekend for a potluck and to play Rock Band (back in the day!!!!). It tentatively started around 7 and went until 1am or whatever. People would show up at 8, and no biggy. It definitely annoyed me at times only because I wanted to SEE these friends and spend time with them, but with a big group already there and having fun, being late in that instance–even if you’re TWO hours late–isn’t nearly as rude. (Except at a potluck, keep in mind that people might be waiting on food and drink from the late person.)

But, no, your friend is totally rude for making you wait to order for 40 minutes, dude. 

Post # 8
6447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Fifteen minutes if I get no word about them having issues or being late. I will generally wait around 20 minutes before leaving, but I would absolutely not wait 40 minutes without leaving. Next time, leave before she shows up, and if she bothers to ask where you were, tell her you waited ___ minutes and figured she stood you up. It would only be fair to have her know what it feels like.

Post # 9
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My Mom is chronically late and it’s extremely annoying. She always picks the time and place. I automatically add 15 mins to the time she tells me (like if she says meet at 1pm I get there at 1:15pm on purpose). But I usually STILL have to wait for her! She is usually 20 to 40 mins late for everything. (Hence why I told her she absolutely needs to be at my wedding venue at 10:30am when the real time is 11am.)

For most people though I give them 20 mins and then get extremely annoyed and most likely leave. 

Post # 10
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

At about 20 minutes late with no contact to advise they are running late I will leave.  I do have friends where I purposely don’t get there until 5 minutes after I said we would meet as they are always late, or if close I get them to text me when they are leaving before I leave the house.

Post # 11
4863 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

20 minutes late is ok, 30 minutes I would leave. I’d be too peeved off to enjoy my night with my friend if they left me sitting there 40min.

Post # 12
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

10-15 mins with no notice. If there’s notice then it just depends on the excuse/situation

Post # 13
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

5 minutes because I’m nice and pretend that the margin of error for “watches” is still that long. 

People who are late for no reason are disregarding the people they are supposed to meet. Of course, balance this against the rest of the friendship. And in this case, its also rude to the waitstaff who has someone at their table waiting for 40 minutes. 

Post # 15
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’ll wait 10 minutes with no word from the person before I will try and contact them. If I don’t get an answer, they get another 5. If they do, it depends on what they are late to. Also, it’s different if they are late coming over vs. late meeting out. I’m less annoyed by someone being late to come over for a BBQ or pizza and Netflix than I am if we are going out to dinner or to a movie.

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