How late is "too late" to send wedding thank you notes?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee

Etiquette states that you have up to a year.  So get writing!

 

ETA:  I’m wrong about the year….

Post # 3
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Send them now. Most people will understand especially if they know most of the stuff that’s been going on in your lives. Make it a priority to get them done ASAP, but I personally wouldn’t be offended if I got one that late. I would be offended if I never got a thank you card. Just my two cents! 

Post # 4
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Three months. Seriously what you’ve said isn’t an excuse 

Post # 5
Member
3359 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
leelee93 :  a super late thank you is better than no thank you at all. Yes, you should have sent them out months ago. But Sending then now is at least still sending them rather than being known as the couple who never sent any thank you s. 

Post # 6
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee

And i don’t really believe that you forgot all about them.  That seems pretty far fetched.

Post # 7
Member
3359 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
sharpshooter :  no it doesn’t. A guest has a year to give you a wedding gift. That doesn’t give you a year to thank them. Etiquette says thank yous should be sent ASAP. 

Post # 9
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

I mean it looks bad, but I’d rather get a late thank you than no thank you at all. It does sound like you’re making excuses though. Just own up to it and say your forgot, it happens.

Post # 10
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee

Yep, I realized that after I posted it, but regardless OP needs to get them started ASAP.

Post # 11
Member
13615 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
sharpshooter :  That is a common misunderstanding. Etiquette does not say you have a year to write thank you notes. While there is no entitlement, it’s the guests who have a year to send a wedding gift. After that it’s probably more appropriately considered an anniversary gift. Most properly, they should be done immediately as received, but take no more than two or three months. 

View original reply
leelee93 :  Notes are always better received late than never, even much later than this. The apology should be proportional in remorse to the degree of lateness. That said after five months all but the sticklers will be just as happy to get your note. 

Post # 12
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

Send them.  It’s late – too late – but they need to be sent all the same.

 

The “one year rule” referenced upthread is total bullshit.  Thank you notes should always be sent as soon as possible after a gift is received.  Many of the notes should have already been done before the wedding, if people sent things straight to your house.  If it was a fairly large wedding and most of your crowd brings gifts to the reception, I could see taking up to about a month to get them all out.

Post # 13
Member
7707 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Don’t waste more time or make more excuses; send them NOW. Yes, they will be late, but not sending them at all is inexcusable. 

Post # 14
Member
2381 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

One year to send them, yeah that’s horseshit.  I go by what I would think, and there is no time when I would say “shoot, it’s been so long since that wedding, I hope I don’t ever get a thank you card”.

Even if it is 2 years, and I got a thank you, I would laugh and be glad I got it no matter how late. Graciousness and gratitude is never out of time.

Post # 15
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee

Ladies, I corrected myself twice.  I got the thanks you notes and guest gifts timing switched.  The one year comment that i posted is wrong (3x) I haven’t gotten married in 7 years and got confused.  Tough crowd.  Lol.

 

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