How late is "too late" to send wedding thank you notes?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
8367 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Send ASAP. Yes you look ‘trashy and ungrateful’, but a late thank you is better than none. I’m assuming you weren’t too busy to deposit Cheques and spend the money, you purposely put off sending s thank you. Own your choices and act like an adult to fix them.

Post # 17
72 posts
Worker bee

First things first, sometimes you forget stuff! It’s okay! You are not a witch for forgetting!

Obviously, it’s against etiquette to be late but I assume that your wedding guests were family and friends who you love and who love you. Aka, the exact people who are willing to look past your mistakes and see you for the wonderful person I’m sure you are. 

I know everyone said to send them out ASAP, but I’ll dogpile on to say yes, do that. So long as you get them out, don’t beat yourself up. Just own up, apologize, and smile through. Congratulations on the new job and new baby. 

Post # 18
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Just send them now, it’ll be fine. I once got one 1.5 YEARS after the wedding lol so you’re doing better than that!

Post # 19
11529 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The good news is that MANY people make the same mistake you did (I am one of them) and incorrectly believe that a couple has a year to send a thank you note, so many of the people you’re thanking will not think your note is late.

I am one of those people who presumed that I had a year to write my notes, because that is what I had always been told. I also had some extreme circumstances during the first year of my marriage and got some of my thank-you notes completed within three months but definitely not others. It was only after I joined Weddingbee long after my wedding that I learned the facts about the timing.

Just begin writing the notes now, and people definitely will appreciate being thanked, even if the timeframe is months after your wedding.

Post # 20
2310 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Sending them now is better than not sending them at all.

My sister took just as long as you to send her thank you cards. She only sent them out,  as a week after my engagement party guests received our thank yous.  Made her look bad!!

Post # 21
601 posts
Busy bee

I see I’m in the minority here but I just don’t think this is that big of a deal or super late at all. I’ve received thank you cards a year after a wedding. We went to weddings in September and November that we’ve yet to receive thank you cards for. I’m getting ours out in 2-3 months but only because I googled it – it wouldn’t have occurred to me that waiting longer would be a huge faux pas. Maybe the people I know are just ignorant about the etiquette, but no one seems to be in such a rush.

I say send them out ASAP (never too late to say thank you!) and don’t beat yourself up about it. I would like to think hardly anyone who loved you enough to be at your wedding will be upset or offended by this. And congrats on the baby! 

Post # 22
10517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would send them now and not worry about what people think. Life happens, it’s really not a big deal.

Post # 23
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I sent late thank yous too. It’s shitty and you feel shitty, but you have to send them either way so get going on it! Most people will understand or will, at the very least, say nothing of their disappointment. But seriously, get them in the mail tomorrow. 

The only ones I haven’t sent at this point are the ones to our parents and grandparents because I’m waiting on their wedding albums to come in this week to send with. I hope the gift softens the disappointment.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Post # 24
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would still send them. Honestly it sounds like it’s been kind of crazy few months if I was a guest I would understand and be glad that you sent a thank you card out. Otherwise your guests could be thinking that you didn’t get there gift. 

Post # 25
37 posts
  • Wedding: August 2017

Some people are being ridiculously harsh IMO. I know people who purposefully didn’t send thank you’s and they didn’t care since the “reception was the thank you.” I know that their terrible behavior doesn’t excuse what happened, but honestly.. I’ve received thank you cards 7 months after a wedding. People make HONEST mistakes. Just get them out ASAP. Congrats on new job and baby! 

Post # 26
851 posts
Busy bee

At this point what’s the alternative, not sending them at all?  This is one of the few etiquette things I’m kind of a stickler on because it’s all about what you prioritize. Like jelly said did you have time to go to the bank and cash the checks and spend the money? I’m sure you did so there you go. But again the only other decision is not to do it so just do it asap

Post # 27
5123 posts
Bee Keeper

How can you “forget” about thank-you notes? Seriously…

I would do them all ASAP.  The thank you note (or lack thereof) says a lot about person. Don’t be the kind of person who doesn’t write them.

And pregnancy and new job? They excuse nothing.

Post # 28
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Yeah I mean I personally that is pretty bad but then where I am from I think most people would consider 3 month pretty rude. But bees let’s not forget that the person OP married also forgot!

Post # 29
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
mrsjadexo :  the reception IS the thank you for attending. A thank you note is a thank for you a gift (which is optional). If your friend simply didn’t send thank you notes to those who attended the wedding only, then she’s in the clear. But if she failed to send notes to people who gave her gifts, then she’s very rude. 

Post # 30
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Send them now. As a guest, I’d be much happier recieving them late than not at all.

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