How late is "too late" to send wedding thank you notes?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
1647 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

I’m really surprised about all the strong feelings!  I wanted to use my wedding photos to make thank you cards, so those can take even a couple months to get back and order pulse write address etc. 

writing thank you notes is a huge project, esp if you had a big wedding.  Depositing checks in a timely manner is just polite to the writer.   Early pregnancy so exhausting and sick.  Plus the stress of a new job.  I sympathize.

just get them out ASAP.  You’re obviously going to get side eye from some people, but in my opinion, gratitude is always welcome.  If I got a thank you card after year then I’d probably be like wow they got behind and have a little chuckle about it.  I don’t give a gift to get the thank you note.  I give it in celebration of your marriage.  I’ll read it,smile, maybe keep it on the fridge a while.  I would not even notice how many months or weeks it had been. (Unless the wedding was so far back I didn’t remember going). But you better have cashed my check!  I get so annoyed when people hold checks!

Post # 47
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Umm it’s not that effing serious. I would get them out as soon as you can but do not beat yourself up over it. Nobody died. I really don’t think the average person cares that much about a thank you card to where you’re a “trashy” person for it. I mean definitely send something but it is not life or death.



Post # 48
1964 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My mother says that you’re already late on thank-you cards on the day you get married. Like, that’s how serious it should be taken to send them ASAP. 

You are very late, but it is DEFINITELY better late than never. 

Post # 49
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

We sent ours out a few days after we got married but ONLY because we were going on a month-long honeymoon and I knew I wouldn’t want to do them when we got back.

My cousin and his wife on the other hand sent theirs out almost a year later maybe? It had been so long that I actually forgot I never even received one and was confused when there was a card from them in the mailbox. My reaction was “Oh yeah! Oh that’s nice of them.” And then I read it and put the card in the recycle bin. 

My point? No one is going to hold a grudge because you sent your thank you cards a bit late. It’s better than not sending them at all! And if they do, I’m sure they’ll forget they were late in a few months anyways soooooo I wouldn’t stress! 

Post # 50
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
leelee93 :  don’t worry, just do them before your baby comes. It’s already on the late side, so…. Plus people who actually remember and think about receiving thank you cards are just, don’t they have something better to do?

Send them now, that’s all you can do.

Post # 51
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I think a lot of people are being way too harsh. Life happens. I honestly think 6 months is totally fine and late is better than never. 

Post # 52
5467 posts
Bee Keeper

Did you start yet? Trust me do the first 10 and you’ll feel better. How many guests did you have? We had 80ish and started doing 5 at a time. 25 on the weekends. 

Post # 53
1671 posts
Bumble bee

This website is ridiculous sometimes. The comments with the most upvotes are the ones accusing OP of lying about forgetting and saying she looks “trashy and ungrateful”. What a wonderful community of women uplifting other women. And don’t give me that whole “other websites are so much worse” bs.

Post # 54
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

View original reply
kristin36890 :  Hear, hear!! 

LOL these comments are HILARIOUS. I take etiquette and thank yous seriously, but definitely do not think twice about what others do. ESPECIALLY loved ones. I would hate to have friends/family that scrutinize my timeline/life/PRIORITIES (she started a new job and is pregnant… priorities are in line) because of a little thank you note about my hundred+ dollar gift (she bought your plate at the wedding too… it’s not entirely a selfless gesture). Seriously people, lighten up. 5 months is totally cool and would not even blip my radar. And you can add in the  note about your other little updates – I would appreciate that, and a genuine update on what you did with the money/item, more than “thanks for the toaster. It’s been 7 hours since I got married and am still wearing my make-up, but I’m sure it will make lovely toast.” Nobody is watching the clock or calendar. And if they are… byyyyyyyyyye felicha. 

Post # 55
10094 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
newbee0926 :  

“Honestly the people on this thread are being so hateful and negative” Hateful? My dear bee, this is not hate , it’s merely admonishing bad manners. Which,  you know , OP was aware  she had been guilty  of . 

Post # 58
8367 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

So it sounds like you still haven’t started on them…

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