(Closed) How late would you be willing to have your last child?

posted 8 years ago in TTC
  • poll: What is the oldest you would be okay with when having your last child?
    Under 30 : (21 votes)
    4 %
    31 : (19 votes)
    4 %
    32 : (28 votes)
    6 %
    33 : (16 votes)
    3 %
    34 : (19 votes)
    4 %
    35 : (131 votes)
    28 %
    36 : (49 votes)
    10 %
    37 : (32 votes)
    7 %
    38 : (41 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee

    I’d prefer to be 35 at the latest. My mom was 40 having me, and it didn’t help her body at all. It made menopause later in life and whacked up her body big time. It also was a lot tougher on her body, and labor was longer and more intense. So, no I don’t think I’d ever want to be over 35. But, to each their own.

    Post # 48
    Member
    1626 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @Pixienickie:  I honestly hadn’t thought of this. I’ve generally said I want to start having kids at 30, so I guess 35 for the last one. I don’t think Fiance and I will have more than 2. Maybe 3 if we end up with twins (it runs in the family). 

    Post # 49
    Member
    910 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I always figured I would have 2-3 kids before 30. Would have been married by 25. Ya that isnt how life really happened. I have been with DH since 23 but we just got married last year (at 29) and I am expecting my 1st at 30. Sure sounds good to say I would have been done with child bearing by now but realistically that wasnt what God had planned for us;)

    Post # 50
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee

    28 at the oldest (Ill be done after this one). I have always known I wouldn’t have any at or after 30. I wish I could have had our last slightly younger actually.

     

    Post # 51
    Member
    6301 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If you’d asked me when I was 18 I would have said I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30. I’ve actually always thought that way. However, having gotten married at 27, and now almost 29 that’s obviously not going to happen. God willing, I’ll have one by the time I’m 30. I’d always wanted around 3 years between them, but as I get older I realize that it’s probably not realistic and I’ll most likely have them close together. I personally would at least like to be done having kids by the time I’m 35. DH is 3 years older than me and that would make him 38.

    Post # 52
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee

    @MaggieF:  I don’t see why ppl shouldn’t think about their lives post children…my mom is 45 and all three off her kids are adults with jobs and kids. She is now able to travel, spend her money on whatever she wants, and experience things she couldn’t when she had a house full.

    she never rushed us out or made us unloved but she is hppy she is young and gets to travel and do whatever else she feels inclined to do without worrying about her childrens’ schedules.

    I love my children dearly and yes, they grow up fast but guess what, one day they will be out of our home. Why should I not think about where I’ll be when that point comes. I don’t put off saving for retirement bc I want to just enjoy now…I like to plan and be prepared. I’m 100% devoted to and in love with my daughter.

    Post # 53
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MaggieF:  Why should we not consider our empty nest and what we will do with that? I’m in no rush for my son to leave but eventually if I do my job right as a patent he will. And that’s great! He is my life, but at some point he will leave and flourish on his own. Im glad I will be early 40’s when that happens because I’ll still feel young enough to want to get out and do things. My life is my children so I’ve sacrificed by having my family while I was young and the pay off is being an empty nester young. Just like some put off kids until later in life to get out and experience things first. Neither mind set is wrong and I don’t feel bad one bit that my desire to have an empty nest while I’m young has played a part in my family planning. My Dad was 40 when I was born and from my experiences in my childhood I knew I absolutely did not want to be just starting at 40.

    Post # 54
    Member
    2402 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @Pixienickie:  These threads kind of irritate me. My friend was TTC for 4 years and I wondered when she would make a decision to give up.. The answer is when there is no option. How I know? Because I’m 35 and have been TTC for one year unsuccessfully and will stop at nothing to have my rainbow baby! 

    So… The answer to your question is, you really don’t and can’t know until you’re in that position.

    Post # 55
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Ideally I would like to be done by 30, but obviously sometimes thigs are out of our control so I have a max cut off of 35 for health/energy reason. I want to retire and enjoy that stage of life with my then husband and not have to worry about young children. id really like to enjoy my 50s without dealing with little ones. My parents had 3 kids before 30, they are both in their 50’s now and seem to have more fun and do more things than Fiance and I! They had time to enjoy their younger years/college years together, had kids and by their 50’s were back to enjoying their life together And that is what Fiance and I are hoping for our future.

    Post # 56
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Lol, sure when i was 20 i thought id have 2 kids and a minivan by the time i was 25.  That didnt happen, now i will be married 10 days before my 30th birthday and still no kids yet.  Hey, if it took me that long to find the perfect person to have kids with and the love of my life than thats fine with me.  So many people are having kids later into life now and I feel after waiting this long we will be more prepared for children.  Im hoping to have 3 before I am 37,38.  but whatever God has planned is what will be.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2500 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    One & only child. 37 ish. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Well I originally wanted to have 2 by 30, but I’m 28 and we’re not even trying for our first yet…. so that’s probably not going to happen….

    I think my ideal cut-off at this point is 33, and my absolute line is 36.  I personally don’t think I’d want a toddler at 40.  If by 36 we still don’t have any of our own, I’d probably try to adopt an older kid.

    Post # 59
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @MaggieF:  I think a lot of the not pregnant yet set who post on these kinds of threads (myself included) are more looking at it as an “ideally, if I could perfectly plan out my whole life” kind of thing.  Not entirely set in stone, and I’m sure at least some of them would continue trying well past their ideal “cut-offs” if life changed or TTC was difficult.

    I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with considering how old you’ll be when your future-theoretical kids are at X stage in life.  Its a good thing to think about especially in a time like now where the economy kind of sucks and a lot of us have to make concessions in one direction or another in terms of life-goals.  Is it worth it to put off having kids for another 5 years so we can establish our careers more?  Or will that have consequences when we’re older and trying to retire while putting one or more kids through college?

    I know my personal cut-off feelings come from watching some of my friends’ parents postpone retirement because their kids were still in college.  I don’t want to be in that kind of situation, even if it means sacrificing other financial goals right now.

    Post # 60
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Pixienickie:  We don’t plan on starting TTC until after I turn 30 (almost 26 now) and we would like to have at most 2 children and be done having kids by 35. Ideally, we will TTC when I turn 32 and then TTC at 34.

    Post # 61
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MaggieF:  First world situation is that you have the opportunity to come on here and judge others for their rationale and reasoning behind their choices. At least they are being honest. 

    Besides, if it is something that concerns them, I applaud them for actually thinking it through and how it will impact their lives (not everyone does that). They want to make sure they can retire at a comfortable age, have time to still continue with other life plans, etc. That is their right and their desire. It doesn’t mean they will love their children any less. 

    No need to be a crusader for a made up cause. You have made your choice, and that is your right…kudos to you. However, it doesn’t make it right for you to call others selfish. Also, no say they are wrong or ridiculous for their choices. 

    The topic ‘How late would you be willing to have your last child?’ is closed to new replies.

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