(Closed) How late would you be willing to have your last child?

posted 8 years ago in TTC
  • poll: What is the oldest you would be okay with when having your last child?

    Under 30

    31

    32

    33

    34

    35

    36

    37

    38

  • Post # 62
    Member
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I am 30, 31 in March, and we will start trying for baby number 2 immediately after the wedding (if I’m not already brewing him/her…we had a bit of an oops) and I’m hoping it will happen quickly. In a perfect world we would like our LOs to be around 2 years apart. We are only planning to have 2, so hopefully it’ll happen before I’m 35 so they can be fairly close-ish in age.

    Post # 63
    Member
    1845 posts
    Buzzing bee

    When I was younger I always imagined I would have had all my children by 28, but it is more important for me to complete everything on my ‘pre-TTC list’ than it is for me to have had X amount of children by Y age.

    I would prefer to have had all my children buy the time I’m 35, however if we experience fertility problems, I would continue trying until I am no longer able to fall pregnant.

    Post # 64
    Member
    2001 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    These threads pop up every week and it always surprises me how many bees say they plan to be done by 30.  In my circle, most people don’t start until 30!  Everyone is busy pursuing their educations and building their careers in their 20s.  I had my first at 30 (and he was a surprise) and the only time I feel like anything other than a “young” mom is on the bee!  🙂

    Post # 65
    Member
    8067 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I didn’t want to start until 30, though I could have waited until 31 or 32.  I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s child-free.

    I’d like to be completely done by 36 or 37.  It will probably be 35 though since I’m pregnant now and turning 30 in a few months.

    Post # 66
    Member
    2865 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @sailor:   +1

    People saying they want 3 or 4 by 30, I’m thinking…how old are you now??!!  Pregnant for 4 years straight? Nooo thank you!

    Post # 67
    Member
    1049 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Wow – I am really surprised by the poll results. I won’t even start having kids until at least 30. I would prefer to be done by 40, but I wouldn’t really mind having a child in my early 40’s either.

    Post # 68
    Member
    2402 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @sailor:  Oh, thank God!! Some more people like me!! My friends started around 30 and now they’re multiplying quickly!! Lol. Hopefully I’ll join them soon :-))

    Post # 69
    Member
    957 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Hmm, I feel that if I want more babies, and am medically able to conceive and carry, I will. I’m not sure I have an age limit in my head.

    That being said, I’m almost 27, and have a 5 month old DD. We are hoping to have our second (and final) baby in the next year or two, so before 30, I guess, based on that?

     

    ETA: We did focus on our education and carrers: we both have college degrees (I have a masters) and are stable in our careers and make good money. I don’t think focusing on education/careers and having children are mutually exclusive.

     

     

     

    Post # 70
    Hostess
    2683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    For me it has nothing really to do with age and a lot more to do with the children. I want my kids fairly close together and would probably not want to start over again with an infant once my kid reached 5 or 6. That’s just my personal preference. 

    My mom had my older sister and I quite young (got married at 18, big sis was born at 21) and then my little brother and sister when I was about 15 and 17 respectively and she was about 38 and 40. Honestly, I love my little sibs more than anything, but I see how hard it is for my mom. She’s tired and basically just re-entered the workforce which means she’ll be working now until she is not physically able. (A lot of that has to do with her choices outside the children though). 

    DH also has a second set of siblings that are the same proportion younger. I’m sure that this isn’t always true, but in both our families, it’s clear that the parents don’t necessarily parent the kids as much as they should. So that also motivates me to want to have my kids younger. 

    I’m pregnant now and if everything worked perfectly (haha!) I’d have them about 18 months apart and be done. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    7937 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i would have loved to have 3-4 kids by the time i was 35. but i didn’t get married until i was 32 and we are having trouble getting pregnant.  no perfect world here.

     

    Post # 72
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Chrissy26:  

    View original reply
    @mixtapehearts:  

    Just reading your empty nest comments. I think empty nests are something people only dream about in the UK. Given the average child dosent leave home until 30 odd these days. You could start out at 20 with the intention of having an empty nest but if the darling child dosent leave home till 40 your still going to be 60 before you get your life and your home back!

    Post # 73
    Member
    6299 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Mrs.LemonDrop:  This!! As someone who also has a second set of siblings I see this with my parents. My dad remarried and had a baby with my stepmom when I was in high school. My dad was in his early 40’s and stepmom in her late 30’s. My sister is now almost 15 and life is SO different for her. Yes, she’s definitely spoiled but they literally have no energy for her. They certainly go and do things, but little things here and there I notice a huge difference. Like we live 20 minutes from the movie theater, and when she goes it’s when other friends parents take them because my parents don’t want to go “that far” (lol) to take them and then wait two hours for the movie to end. They’d rather be home so they can go to bed. 

    Post # 74
    Member
    308 posts
    Helper bee

    When I was younger (oh the days!) I dreamt of having my first at 27 and second at 29. Or maybe at 31, to give more of a gap.

    Life happened and that dream didn’t. I’ll be getting married at 34 and we’re going to start TTC right away. So I’d have my first at 35 and another at 37-ish, all things going well.

    Truthfully, I would have liked to enjoy child-free married life for a year before TTC. And maybe planned for more than a 2 year gap between children. But I’m already feeling like I’m behind the times on the baby thing. I’m the last of my friends to get married (see my screen name. lol) and the ONLY one of my friends without kids. Most are on their second.

    If we have trouble concieving, I’m okay trying until my Dr. recommends we stop.

    My Mom was 36 when she had me and my Dad was 46. They’re still active and they were wonderful parents. My Dad will be 79 at my wedding, he rides his bike every day. He’ll be at least 80 by the time I have my first child! I’m only sad that, realistically, my children won’t have long with him.

    Post # 75
    Member
    7813 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We will be done by the time I’m 32, so however many that allows for. I’m not keen on additional risks for me or the baby, or being an “old” mom and dying before my kids reach life stages I want to be there for. Even 32 is too old for me, but I can’t help when I met my husband unfortunately!

    Post # 76
    Member
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Until menopause

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