(Closed) How late would you be willing to have your last child?

posted 8 years ago in TTC
  • poll: What is the oldest you would be okay with when having your last child?

    Under 30

    31

    32

    33

    34

    35

    36

    37

    38

  • Post # 77
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    WELL I ACTUALLY STARTED EARLY… IM 24 GOING ON 25  AND I CURRENTLY HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD (WILL BE 10 THIS YEAR) … MY FIANCE AND I ARE BOTH CURRENTLY PURSING CHALLENGING CAREERS… WE WANTED TO ADD TWO MORE CHILDREN BY THE TIME MY SON IS 13 BUT AS OF NOW THATS UNREALISTIC WITH ME IN LAW SCHOOL AND HIM BEING IN RESIDENCY NEXT YEAR FOR MEDICAL SCHOOL.. 

     

    SO WE;VE DEICDED THAT IT WILL JUST NATURALLY HAPPEN, AND THAT WE WONT TRY TO “PLAN” TOO MUCH.. 

    I ALSO SUFFER FROM ENDOMETRIOSIS SO THE OLDER I GET THE MORE MY CHANCES OF INFIRTILITY ARE INCREASED…. I PLAN TO HAVE A HYSTO TO ELIVATE THE PAIN FOREVER!!!! 

    Post # 78
    Member
    6375 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I always hoped to have my first by/at 30, and my last by/at 35, simply because 30 is the average for first child where I am, and there was a campaign when I was growing up to encourage women to have their children by 35 for health reasons.

    However, we do not live in an ideal world. Would I rule out more kids under 40? Not necessarily. We would have to wait and see. What if we struggle to have children for years and want to keep trying until menopause? I’ll check my health out, and we’ll see. You just never know what the future will bring.

    Post # 79
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t want to have kids after 35. My mom had me when she was 39, and she just turned 60 before I am even 21. My siblings from my dad’s first marriage are all 4+ years older than me and all have kids. My parents are amazing grandparents, and it breaks my heart to think that my mom will be around 70 by the time I start having kids. I love seeing my nieces and nephews with my parents, and I hate that they won’t be able to have the same type of relationship with my kids and that they may not get to grow up knowing my parents well.

    Post # 80
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    DH and I want to have 1 or 2 and haven’t even started yet, and I’m 30. So I guess I would probably stop trying at 40, but realistically we’re aiming for our first around 34/35 (he’s two years younger than me.)

     

    Also lol at predicting being a “power couple” when you’re in your early 20s because you’ll have a “six-figure salary” when graduating from law school.  Six-figure law salaries come with six-figure legal jobs and six-figure working hours.  Everyone I know who’s 1-5 years out of law school works 80 hours a week for their 6-figs… not much time left for a baby.  And that’s just for the lawyers I know who are actually employed. I know many who are not (who graduated from decent schools and passed the bar.)

    Post # 81
    Member
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @Pixienickie:  I’m 36 and childless so I’m willing to go after 40.  My mom was 41 when she had me and I was her first (and only).

    Post # 82
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would say 34, but only because my husband is 14.5 years older than me.  If I was married to someone around my own age, I would probably go up to 40.  As it stands, I will have this baby at 29.5 and this will likely be our last.

    Post # 83
    Member
    3797 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    We want two babies. We would like one around age 28 (we’re both 25 currently) and then another 3-4 years later. Hopefully that would mean we would have our babies done by around age 32/33. However, I think we’d go until we needed to if it meant bringing our family together.

    Post # 84
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’m 27 now and we plan to TTC in 2 years. We are hoping to have 2 or 3 children, so I’m hoping to be done by 35. So maybe have kids at 30, 32 and 34. We will see how it all goes….

    Post # 85
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @Pixienickie:  At this moment in time my answer would be 35. Fiance and I have discussed it and we both feel this is a reasonable age for both us. . . he really feels strongly about it because his Mom had rough pregnancies and birth experiences and he has read that risks of complications increase with age.

    That said, life really refuses to follow any plan I map out, so I’m willing to be fluid with that timeline.

    Post # 86
    Member
    2734 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think I would be willing to have my last around 40.  But I would like to be done by 35 (and realistically, if we don’t have a problem getting pregnant quickly, I might be done around 30, because we only want two, and we want them pretty close in age).

    Post # 87
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee

    @LilLis:  really?! Goodness! Once we all left for college we didn’t come back! I don’t have any friends who lived back at home after leaving for college. Very interesting. Why do you think so many stay so long?

    Post # 88
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @LilLis:  what in the what? I’d PRAY my child is self sufficient enough to not be living at home when he’s 30. Unless he becomes physically handicapped or suffers from an illness then that won’t be happening. If it’s not an option then he will have no choice but to go out in the world and make his own way. 

    Post # 89
    Member
    1087 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Ideally, we will be done ttc by the time I am 30. But we have been ttc #2 for about 18 months now, and we want 3 total so I’m not sure if that will happen. I am 27, and DH and I don’t want a big gap between our next two so I’m hoping it’s possible. I voted 35 though, because I would be willing to keep trying for a while if it didn’t happen right away.

    Post # 90
    Member
    949 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I want to have a certain decision about whether or not I want kids by 30. 30-31 TTC if I decide…1 and only child 31-32. One and done 🙂

    Post # 91
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Chrissy26:  There is a huge culture for buying your own property in the UK, parents will often help their kids get onto the property ladder…..and housing is really, really expensive in the UK.

    Where I live in the countryside small town 40 miles from London a ‘starter home’ will cost around $330k. The average wage where I live is $37k (and as an average that is way, way higher than a starting wage). We can borrow around 3.5 times your gross income $130k so would need a deposit of $200k to get a property. Not easy when you are first out of colledge.

    I just checked and the cheapest rental property I found was around $1000 per month. That dosent include any bills. So assuming a starting wage of around $25 which is probably generous in this area your monthly take home is probably around $1450. Thats a big chunk of your income!

    People just cant afford to move out.

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