(Closed) How long after asking parents permission did he propose?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 30
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My fiancé asked my dad for permission in the September and we got engaged in December. So three months ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 31
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Wow, didn’t realize that this was such a touchy topic,I think the underlying message of open communication and joining of families is more important than the word choice between “permission” and “blessings” 

Post # 32
134 posts
Blushing bee

I’m still waiting (I think!) for him to talk to my dad, but I am under the impression that’s he’s going to talk to my dad very close to when he proposes. I’ve been trying to figure out if they’ve talked yet (tradition in my family / circle not to know) but I don’t think they have. 

Post # 33
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
dashingdaisy:  We had already talked about marriage, looked at rings, etc and my husband was just waiting on asking my dad at Thanksgiving.

He asked my dad at 11am on Thanksgiving. My parents left at noon the next day and he asked me at around 3pm…haha.  He’d had the ring for over a week and apparently it was  burning a hole in his pocket. 

Post # 35
15042 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

About 2 hours.

Post # 36
400 posts
Helper bee

About 1 month, and I knew he had asked. Thought that would make waiting easier once I knew he had asked but nope. That last month was the hardest. I was like ok he’s asked my parents wtf is he waiting for get on with it lol. 

Post # 38
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Ritz Carlton Laguna Niguel

My Fiance talked to my parents over Christmas and proposed almost 3 months later. I knew he talked to them and also knew he wouldnt propose right away. Everyone and every situation are different. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 39
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

A couple weeks shy of a year.  I knew they had talked (I walked in on them – lol), and I knew the proposal was coming at some point, but I didn’t know exactly when.

And yea, I was 43 when my Fiance talked to my Dad; I had been on my own (supporting myself) for 23 years at that point.  It was not about asking permission — tt was about respecting the role my father has in my life.  

I truly don’t understand why people get so worked up about this (or about being walked down the aisle / “given away,” or the symbolism of the engagement ring, etc.).   There are A LOT of traditions that are originally rooted in concepts we no longer believe in, but we nonetheless take part in:  the original purpose of bouquets was to cover the smell of our unwashed bodies, and the purpose of a bridal party was to “trick” demonic spirits so that they wouldn’t kidnap the bride.  And yet, no one gets worked up about those traditions.  Picking and choosing which archaic tradition to find offensive seems like you’re just looking for an excuse to get upset about something.  The bottom line for me is that it’s nice to include your family in your life events.  That’s all.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  MelissainNC.
Post # 40
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Sunset Hills Country Club

DH waited a looooonnnngggggg time. We’re talking 2 1\2 years. We dated 5 years and 2 days on the day we got married. He asked my dad’s permission/blessing, and informed him it wouldn’t be for a while. They agreed that when DH proposed he would give my dad “the nod.” I didn’t mind waiting though. I knew DH was my one and only and I would have waited forever for him to propose.

Post # 42
2019 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

He spoke to my Father around 6 months before and my Dad (step-father) around 3 months before ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck being patient!

Post # 43
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - NYC

View original reply
dashingdaisy:  We had been discussing marriage for almost a year, and he had told my best friend in August 2014 that he was going to propose and he had a plan. My Fiance spoke to my mom/asked permission early December 2014. He picked out the ring when I was home for the holidays (he actually went the day after Xmas with his sister). He was paying off the ring until early February, it was shipped February 13th. His sister had it for a week, and he had it hidden in our closet for about 2 weeks before he proposed.

Asked permission: December 7, 2014 (give or take, I don’t remember which day it was)

Purchased ring: December 26, 2014

Ring shipped: February 13, 2015

Proposed: March 7, 2015


So for me it was about 3 months.

Post # 44
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wanted DH to inform my parents of his intentions before he asked me, out of respect. My mom was a hardworking single mom for 12 years and my stepdad has been a father to me since the day he entered my life, even though we wasn’t obligated to be. I knew they would never object, but our decision to get married would not have been influenced if they had. I just wanted him to talk to them first because I knew they would appreciate it. He proposed exactly one week later.

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