(Closed) How long after my sister's wedding do I have to wait to plan my own??!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

She doesn’t want you to tell people about your wedding that is happening in November until her wedding is over? End of September? Did I read that right? I think that that is really ridiculous since there are people you want to go and it sounds like there is some travelling involved for your guests. It’s as silly as asking a sibling to wait to get engaged until after their own wedding. Just as long as it’s not the week before her wedding, it shouldn’t really matter. It’s not like you are planning on actually having it the same week. However, it sounds like you are super considerate. Decide how you feel about it and do it – if you think you will feel guilty about anouncing (though you shouldn’t!) then don’t, if you don’t really care then do it.

Post # 33
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Eeeek that does not sound like a fun position for you to be in, and you are really so considerate to think about her feelings. I think November is giving them plenty of time.

I also think that the closer she gets to her own day, she will (hopefully) begin to care a lot less about sharing the spotlight. My bro is getting married four months after me, and at first, I was mildly bothered by the fact that the focus would be on both at once, mostly because I was afraid family would pick and choose which one they attended.  In the week of my wedding, I cannot TELL you how over it I am now. I’m just really happy for him and his Fiance and excited that our family is growing so much in one year. Hopefully she will be able to feel that way too.

Post # 34
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrs_Sailor:  I think September & November is fine. My fiance’s best friends (brothers) got married last year in May & July. I say go for it!

Post # 36
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

You don’t have to wait at all, because she doesn’t get to call a year or season or whatever.  I would probably wait at least a month after her wedding just so family would be able to travel if necessary for both and give your sister time to get back from her honeymoon, but it is totally your call.  Especially if you are having a small wedding, this may not even be necessary.

Post # 37
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Get married whenver works for you and your Fiance. Your sister is being a huge brat. She gets one day. You were more then generous enough to postpone your wedding for almost a year. Tell her to act her age and get over herself. 

Seriously, get married when you guys want to. 

Post # 38
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sounds like you’re bending over backwards to please your sister & doing a lot for her wedding and she’s choosing to treat you like crap. Move the wedding back to November!

Post # 39
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee

@Mrs_Sailor:  My cousins went through this, and it got ugly. The one cousin who went afterwards and extended the timeframe to allow a month between, and considering they were siblings and had all the same family guests, one month was definitely not good enough. I think two should be fine, and if you have your heart set on November, I think you should get what you want! I would just run it by her and say you really wanted to have a November wedding, but don’t want to wait an additional year for 2014, and would she be offended. If she makes a big stink…well poo on her, but I don’t think a reasonable person would!

Post # 40
Member
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

I would give it a season (3 months) at minimum.

Post # 41
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee

I just read your update. Eff that, make it November. You’re doing way too much for her, and you would be best to remind her of that when you tell her your wedding will be November 🙂

Post # 47
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My Fiance and I had been together 1.5 years before he proposed. His brother was with his gf for 2.5 years when we got engagend and she was pretty mad when we got engaged because we got engaged first. My Fiance proposed on Father’s Day last year and his brother proposed to his gf in October. Our wedding is set for Sept 14th and theirs is set for Nov 1st. I think it is fine to do a couple months after. I think Nov would be perfectly fine! 🙂

 

Post # 48
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i think 2 months is more than fine.  My husband and I just got married & my SIL’s wedding is the end of July & it’s plenty of time.  Not that any of us would have been really upset to  not be the center of attention.

Post # 49
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Just read your update – If your sister isn’t happy nor supportive with you pushing it back 8 MONTHS then why wait?! Do it in Nov like you wanted to because either was she isn’t going to be happy so do what you want! 🙂 Just my 2 cents!!

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