(Closed) how long after the engagement do you wait to have the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m 34 and opted for a short engagement bc I really want to start trying to have kids. But, if I didn’t feel that pressure, I’d have waited at least a year. It seems like it’s important to have some time to let the weight of the committment sink in? Maybe that’s just me though. 

Post # 3
Member
727 posts
Busy bee

We’ve had over a 2 year engagement but that was for logistical purposes like money and health insurance coverage etc. I think it’s just what’s best for the couple

Post # 4
Member
4054 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
brittersnicole:  whatever works best for the couple. It’s definitely a personal preference. 

Because I knew I wanted a September wedding, and 7 months wasn’t long enough to plan and save, our engagement will end up being a total of 19 months by the time we get married (got engaged Feb 2015, wedding is Sept of this year)

Post # 5
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

There’s no right answer here- you can wait a week, or ten years, whatever works for you! From what I’ve seen, it looks like the norm is one to two years.

Post # 6
Member
6803 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You should wait as long as is practical for your life situation.  In our case, I was chomping at the bit and am rapidly approaching too old to have kids.  We got married within 6 months.  But we’d also already lived together several years.  If you’re still in college, you should probably wait until you’ve graduated so it’s one less thing to be dealing with at the same time.  If you’re long distance, you should move near each other so you know what your various habits are and are sure you’re really compatible (husband and I were sure to do this, but did it well before our engagement).  If you or your fiance is at death’s door (hope not!), then you can rush it.  If you have zero money and want a 50,000 dollar wedding, then you will need a long engagement.  There are a lot of reasons to make that decision but no one knows your own situation enough to decide for you.

Post # 7
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Our engagement will be about a year and a month.  Personally, I feel like I’ve just been sitting around not doing much most of the time.  Sure, there are things that are time consuming, and I’ll probably be more stressed as we get closer-we’re about 4.5 months out now.  If I could do it over, I’d give myself an 8 or 9 month engagement.  I feel like that’s a good time to not feel totally overwhelmed, yet it’ll go by faster 🙂  Do what’s best for you and your schedule!

Post # 8
Member
3382 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
brittersnicole:  I’ll echo PPs and say whatever works best for the couple.  FI and I will be engaged for almost 2 years by the time we marry.  I’m in medical school, so my schedule is a bit complicated – so we had to wait for that.

Post # 10
Member
3529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I had heard from several people that two years, and even a year and a half was “too long” so I talked DH into an 11 month engagement. By the time the wedding came around I was wishing we had pushed it back further so we could enjoy being engaged longer. But honestly ~year was perfect for us. 

Post # 11
Member
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ours was a short engagement – 8 months. we never discussed if we wanted something longer, so it worked for us.

We easily could have had it a year, but I really wanted a fall wedding and to ensure that both of our living grandparents (2 sets) would have a higher chance of being there, as they are getting up in age (we’re in our 30’s).

So, once we checked out reception venues and their date availabily, some still had some greta dates open in the Fall and we went with it.

Once we started booking venues and I found my dress, we picked out Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and some other things that needed to be done right away. After that, we sat for quite a few months with not much to do until the couple months before.

I think it was a perfetc amount of time, and everything fell into place.

Post # 12
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

all together we’ll be having a bout a 2 year engagement.  This is what really worked best for us in our circumstances, but it’s different for everyone.  I honestly do wish it was shorter because it seems like i’ve been waiting forever to be married and we still have 16 months to go!  It was really nice being able to do a lot of research into venues and lock in lower pricing, have our choice of dates, etc. but I think about a 18 month engagement would have been ideal.

Post # 13
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We opted for a long engagement – got engaged June 2015 and are getting married in April 2017. Multiple reasons – we both just graduated undergrad, starting careers (he is a police officer so their schedule is unfortunate for forever), his older sister would be getting engaged and we knew she wanted a certain month, etc. At times it really stinks – we both want to start our life together, but at the same time, having a longer engagement helps us to really plan and enjoy our wedding as well as our married life together. Although, I am done planning and I still have 12 months to go – a blessing and a curse!

Post # 14
Member
6236 posts
Bee Keeper

to me, getting engaged is committing to marry and setting a date for that. Personally, it’s not another ‘level’ of a commitment. So to that end, our engagement is 11 months which for us feels pacey enough but long enough for logistics. If we were doing courthouse or getting married abroad just us we probably would have done in within a month or two. 

Post # 15
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are going to have a 16 month engagement because we wanted to have enough time to save the money for our wedding. We are paying for everything ourselfs. 

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