(Closed) How long after the wedding did you send out your thank you cards?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How long did you wait?

    Within a month

    1-3 months

    3-6 months

    6-12 months

    over 12 months

    Never sent them out lol

  • Post # 16
    Member
    1692 posts
    Bumble bee

    Thank-you notes should be sent as gifts are received — ideally before you go to bed that night. Socially sophisticated guests know that gifts should be delivered to the bride’s home prior to the wedding, and this spreads the task of writing thank-you notes out over the weeks building up to your big day. Less sophisticated guests of course think the gifts ought to be brought to the party, and those gifts don’t count as being “received” until you and they both end up at your home together and they have been opened, typically after you return from your honeymoon. As you open each one, you should write the thank-you note, put it in its envelope, address the envelope and stamp it, before you open another gift or use the gift. Post all the notes written each day in the evening of the same day. If there are dozens of gifts that were brought to the wedding, it can take several days to open them all, but the notes will all be done at almost the same time. Under no circumstances should you wait to thank your kind donors until you receive photo-notes of yourself from a printer.

    Thank-you notes for attending the wedding dinner, also known as “bread-and-butter” notes, are properly sent from the GUESTS to the hostess.

    If you have already properly thanked guests for their gifts, and want to send a note to all the guests who attended saying how much you enjoyed seeing them, this falls into the category of “social correspondence” which is completely optional, and may be sent at any time, evaen years after the event.

    Post # 17
    Member
    2668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We had ours out by the time we hit the 2 month mark. I wanted to get them out earlier but unfortunately it didn’t work out like that – we got married in early December, the week after my dad had back surgery so I had time off to help him/stepmum, work was absolutely insane, then it was Christmas and then we went on our 3 week honeymoon. Our cards arrived whilst we were on our honeymoon, so I spent the first few days back at home writing all the thank yous out and sent them off. Even so, we still sent them out quicker than everyone else we know who’s gotten married in the last 5 years so I guess that’s something.

    Post # 18
    Member
    6921 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

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    everythingpink :  The only thing that kept me from getting them done immediately was that I took a trip with my sister instead (yeah, that sounds weird post-wedding, doesn’t it, lol).  They were all done within the first week of my return home though.  To be fair, we didn’t have a huge guest list so it wasn’t the most challenging thing to deal with.  And I’d already written cards to anyone who mailed something ahead of time.  Plus I bought basic thank you’s at Target rather than ordering anything special.  That all helps reduce how long it takes for sure!

    Post # 19
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

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    jellybellynelly :  for real though? You get a thank you card and your emotional response is to be irked? 

    Post # 20
    Member
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee

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    everythingpink :  We share the same date! 🙂

    All of mine got mailed as of a few days ago. I did 5 -10  a day.  Husband has 3 to write out that will get speical cards.

    However, much like you there was one wedding I attended taht I didn’t get acard back for 6 months. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

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    everythingpink :  We were waiting on photos back for ours, which took around 3 weeks, then 1 week for the cards to arrive. We wrote some straight away to give to family we were seeing, and the rest trickled out over the following weeks.

    FWIW we handwrote them all, in case that makes a difference, with a personal message in each.

    Post # 22
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We split the job and wrote them together while watching tv. I think they went out 3 weeks after the wedding. Just a quick little note on a cute thank you card — no photos. 🙂

    i recently received an emailed thank you message six months after the wedding… I realized why when I received an invite to her baby shower two days later. Lol 🙄

    Post # 23
    Member
    13889 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I sent them out within a week of the wedding.  Thank you cards should be sent as soon as possible so your guests know their gifts were received and appreciated.  Ours were all handwritten, and done even though DH went in for emergency surgery right after the wedding.  It was very important to me that our thank you cards went out in a timely manner.

    Post # 24
    Member
    13614 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We wrote ours immediately upon return from a two week honeymoon. Most properly, you write thank you notes immediately, as gifts are received or as soon as possible after the wedding.The more liberal new Emily Post gives a three month window, which IMO is pushing things, but certainly better late than never. The 12 month thing is a total myth. That’s how long people have to send a wedding gift. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    8267 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

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    beckybee787 :  I see my cheque cashed 3 days after the wedding, and get a thank you note 3 months later – so you had time to goto the bank right away but didnt have time to write a prompt thank you note? Unless you haven’t actually opened/used/cashed the gift, it’s generally (not always, but generally) just laziness. So yeah. Irked. 

    eta – Its also helpful when giving actual gifts or cash to know that the person received it. Otherwise, what if it got lost in the mail? Cheques you can track to see that they’ve cashed it, otherwise you have no idea that its been received. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    6397 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    everythingpink :  Because I’m that type of person I would have written them all out right after the honeymoon, carpal tunnel be damned.  But that’s how I am.  I hate when people send me a thank you note months later and I’ve completely forgotten it.

    But I’m also the type of person who would have had the thank you notes printed out prior to the wedding.  (not the type of person who includes pictures of the wedding or uses a photo as the thank you note front)

    Post # 28
    Member
    4746 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wrote thank you notes for gifts that came before the wedding as they came. For gifts received at the wedding or sent to my parents’ house (in the town we were married), I wrote the thank you cards after we got back from our 1-week honeymoon. I had 100-125 guests, but most were couples or families, so it only took a few days.

    I didn’t use photo cards and I handwrote all of them. I also shanghaid DH into helping with cards for his family – he wrote maybe 10. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    819 posts
    Busy bee

    Haven’t had my wedding yet, but I had my bridal shower in mid June and am working on getting them all out now, so guests will have them within two months of the event.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3359 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

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    everythingpink :  we’re going to be in the 1-3 month category, because i really wanted to send cards with a photo on them. our photog is usually pretty fast (like under 3 weeks), but he got slammed in june (6/17/17 wedding) and so we just got our photos last night. ordering cards from minted NOW lol. so will get those all out next week (i’ve had the envelopes addressed, stamped, and ready to go for a month now)

    ETA: any gifts we recevied before the wedding, we sent a thank you for already

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