How long are you willing to wait for a proposal from your BF?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I really don’t feel that anyone should put a timeframe on something like this.  As long you and your SO have talked about marriage at some point and are both on the same page, that really matters.  

 I don’t know why I struggle when I read posts like this but I personally feel that someone’s SO will propose when he’s ready.  If you love someone, are on the same page with that person, then I feel there shouldn’t be a time limit.  You love them no matter what, right? 

Post # 4
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I said the same thing but we bought a house after two years together and now we’ve been together for 3 1/2 and we’re in the process of getting engaged. I think it all depends on where your relationship is and the factors of them, whether he is ready, whether he can afford it right now…. I’m glad that I waited this long because now I’m getting the ring of my dreams and more than I could’ve ever imagined.

It all depends also on how long you are willing to wait. Would you settle for a small wedding, a cheaper ring, buying a house instead of a big wedding… it’s all up to you girl. But the wait is definitely worth it! Laughing

Post # 5
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agre with Steph.  I was happy with where we were before we got engaged.  I knew we were going to spend forever together, and I didnt want to compromise that by having a timeframe for a title.  I got an engagement after 3 years together, but I’d have waited if I had to.

And to add, it might not be that he needs 3 yars to decide if he wants to marry you.  My now Darling Husband and I knew we wanted to marry eachother, it was kind of a matter of when and why and how rather than “if.”   So dont think that just because it hasnt happened yet he doesnt know (unless he explicitly said that.)

Post # 6
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oh and I agree with Steph and Kelly

Post # 7
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@magsalot – lol.  That last post was funny.  Made me giggle.

Post # 8
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

We were together for 2.5 years before the proposal. I didn’t do a time frame per se, but our parents wanted us to be engaged before moving in together, and we wanted to move in together…so it worked out that way. 

I think you have to be realistic about what kind of guy you’re with and what stage of his life he’s at. Most guys I know are nowhere near even thinking about marriage; they could be with a girl for 4-5 years and still not be ready. For me, commitment and the desire to create a family with me sooner rather than later (not family in the sense of having babies, but just getting married) was very important, which is why I’m with the rare guy that’s ready to settle down at 23. 

Post # 9
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I personally dont think there is anything wrong with setting a mental timeline for yourself on how long you will wait for Boyfriend or Best Friend to propose. Discussions like this can be sensitive because I always felt like I was being judged because I had a timeline on how long I would wait. That doesnt mean I love my Boyfriend or Best Friend any less because I have done this but it means that I wont wait for someone who doesnt care enough about me to respect how I feel about the subject matter. Someone might be ok waiting for 10 years for their SO to propose another person that timeline might be a year and their over waiting. I just want to say waiting sucks for however long you decide to do it. LOL

Post # 10
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

I’m thinkin’/feelin’ December 1st. We will have been together two years September 25. We’re 48 and 49 so why wait?

Post # 11
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

As of right now I dont have a timeline…I know its going to happen whenever he is financially ready to do so…and we are on the same page about getting married…BUT there are some stories…especially some that I have heard on here…that a timeline may be necessary. So I think it just depends on the couple and their current situation.

Post # 12
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I think it really depends on a few things like how old you are when you start dating, what your financial situation is.

I waited 8.5 years,  but at the same time – I was 16 when we started dating and we were not financially ready until that point.  We had just bought a house 6 months before we got engaged with the understanding that within the year, we would be engaged.

Post # 13
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m not the waiting type of girl, so I gave him a firm deadline — it was our 4 year anniversary, and we had been living together for 3 years.

Guess what? He didn’t propose by my deadline. Deadling with the fallout that ensued (showing him that I was serious, his inadequate proposal 3 weeks later, etc) made the first few months of our engagement really terrible. So be forewarned that being true to yourself feels both shitty and great!

But I would do it again if I had to. I’m still not the waiting type.

Post # 14
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My situation is VERY similar to magsalot. I always thought “Three years and I’m out!” well…here I am at over 3 1/2 years, a house, two cars, two dogs and no ring. We DO have a date set so I have to throw that disclaimer in there, but it was a recent development. But until then I really couldn’t imagine not being with my SO, he is truly who I see myself spending the rest of my life with and me putting an ultimatum or threatening him was just not an option. I of course get frustrated, don’t get me wrong! But when I get that way I just think to myself, “Would you rather be with him and be patient, or lose him forever?”. I obviously would rather stay with him 🙂 I wouldn’t ever want to get engaged and feel like he was only doing it because he felt like he had to. I may have a timeline in my head of how I think things should go but that’s not the only timeline I have to consider, I really had to remember that he’s a guy, he’s a fairly dense guy (I love him, but he is;) and this isn’t just about me, it’s about us having our “happily ever after”. Good luck and try to be patient! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

I am willing to wait until 2013 maybe even a bit longer we both want to get married it’s just a matter of timing.  I will only be 26 and it gives me more time to gain experience at work and get financially stable.  At the moment I have no job and I’m still in school  I won’t graduate hopefully until a year from now.  I  eventually want to go back to school for my bachelors also. SO other and I will be together for six years by that time.  Although I think we will get married probably in 2012 because he wants to have kids before his 32.  I won’t have kids unless I’m married and in 2013 he’ll be 32.

Post # 16
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I am divided on this. I love my Boyfriend or Best Friend more than anything and I really don’t think I would actually break up with him if he doesn’t propose by a certain deadline, simply because I know I wanna spend my life with him regardless of a ring and a wedding. Although I would like to get married in 2012 (before then I will not be in the financial position to do so), this is by no means a deadline for me. True, I don’t like the prospect of waiting five years for the engagement as I am an impatient person by nature, but I actually can’t imagine that my Boyfriend or Best Friend would want to wait that long either. So I have decided not to set any sort of deadline for this, because I know my Boyfriend or Best Friend will propose when he’s ready, and I don’t think it will take him more than a couple of years max.

A lot of people say that it’s a good idea to have a deadline. I agree that this can be useful in certain circumstances, but I really think it depends on the individual couple. I don’t think a deadline is relevant or necessary for me and my Boyfriend or Best Friend.

We have all heard horror stories about girls who have been with a guy for ages without ever getting engaged. My Boyfriend or Best Friend recently told me that one of his female friends dated a guy for 10 years, and from early on in their relationship he told her that he NEVER wanted to get married. So after 10 years and no ring, they broke up. And the guy is of course dating someone else…. and guess what, he is now ENGAGED. I’m thinking she really should have set a deadline!

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