(Closed) How long are you willing to wait for a proposal from your BF?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 76
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Putting a deadline on something like this is just silly! I’ll admit, I was antsy to get married, but not just for the sake of getting married but for the sake of marrying this particular man who had been through so much with me and I knew was perfect for me. Had he asked me to marry him 3 months in I would have done it without a second thought.
We’ve been together a little more than 3 years, we both knew we wanted to get married and that it was just a matter of when. Life threw us a lot of awful stuff over the past few years and it just wasn’t feasible or worthwhile to get married at the time. The a few weeks ago I looked at him and said “What do you say we get married this Summer?” and that was that.

Post # 77
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

My Fiance and I were discussing this the other day. I knew the day I met Fiance he was gonna be my husband, and he knew I was his future wife. If two people both feel the same way, there should be no delay. If a guy took 3-5 years to propose, I would feel like something was wrong. We were engaged after one year of dating but I would’ve accepted his proposal after x amount of months!

Post # 78
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
ABL12490:  

agree!! I knew after our 3rd date. Why wait? I was engaged after 11 months, 1 week 🙂

Post # 79
Member
288 posts
Helper bee

I am almost 3 years in with my BF and am awaiting a proposal. We were both married previously, there is no Biological clock ticking, however I feel right now we’re in a holding pattern and that the words he told me about out future lose relevance when there are no actions which follow.

Post # 80
Member
208 posts
Helper bee

Eh, I’m not too fussed about it, as crazy as I am about all things bridal. I don’t even WANT to get married for several years yet – I’d like to make it happen in ’18-’19. After that, I’d be willing to wait something like four years before hauling out. He wants to get married, though, so I don’t think he’ll wait that long.

Frankly I’m only hanging out on wedding websites because I know I’m going to marry this guy, not because it’s going to happen any time soon. Might as well look at the pretty flowers in the meantime – whatever makes me happy!

Post # 81
Member
3087 posts
Sugar bee

Assuming there is no issue of unemployment or tragedies to deal with,I will never date a man for more than 2 years without a proposal…no ifs,ands,or buts.

Post # 82
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: A restaurant on the beach

We’ve been dating for 9 years and I’ve told him that he has until I’m 29 to propose (I’m 24 now) or I’ll propose to him lol. Usually, I would cringe at the thought of forcing a proposal but if he proposes to me when I’m 29 we would have been dating for 14 years, which is ridiculous. But I do think that a proposal is in my near future. 

Post # 83
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

my Fiance and I dated for a little over 9 and a half years and he just recently proposed almost 2 weeks ago now. Tons of people told me to just break it off or tell him that if he didnt propose within a year or so we would break up. i always responded if i want to spend the rest of my life with him, why would i leave him if he wouldnt marry me. We are now engaged and im thrilled. So if its ment to work out there shouldnt be a time limit even though the wait can be maddening.

Post # 84
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Well, my boyfriend and I will have been dating for 3 years in August. We started dating while we were juniors in high school and are now about to go into our 2nd year of college. We both also work but honestly, im not expecting a ring until at least the end of my junior year/beginning of senior year in college. By that time we will have been dating 5 years. But if I didn’t have a ring by the time i graduated college I would probably start questioning his true feelings for me.

Post # 85
Member
262 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t have a particular timeline for how long would be too long. At one time, I thought along those lines, but I realized he meant more to me than that, so I let it go. Now he’s said it’ll be by early December, and I believe that’s what will happen. If for some reason it didn’t, I’d ask what was up. We’ll have been together over four years by then. I think it can be a really difficult situation. If one person is ready and the other isn’t, how do you compromise? You can’t half get married. And there are a lot of horror stories floating around. But I think there is a gut feeling whether something is wrong. And a gut feeling when it’s right.

Post # 86
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I love him so much and we have a wonderful, loving and fulfilling relationship so I can’t say “x amount of time or I’m out the door” however he does know how important it is to me and if he can’t make it happen within a reasonable timeframe I need to know why and we need to have a serious talk. He set a timeline last July of one year and had hoped to propose already but a lot of legitimate things got in the way financially, so he may end up going past the timeline but that’s okay. I know we have the same goals and want the same thing and that he’s working hard to make it happen. That’s all that matters to me. 

Post # 87
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

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CuteLittleBuzzingBee:  We’ve been together for 5 years…3 months ago. Before we got together I would have answered this question with 5 years! But I love him and couldn’t imagine my life without him so I’m waiting as patiently as possible.

I’m 25 and he’s 27. We both want to get married and we both want kids (and not too old either). He’s told me before that he imagines having a baby when he’s 30 which is 3 years away. I imagine a baby would happen more like when I’m 30 so he will be 32 so 5 years away. I think we will be engaged by or on our 6 year anniversary…but if it doesn’t happen I think I could wait a year longer than that when I’m 27 and he’s 29. Once we hit 7 years though, if there isn’t a proposal or an obvious one coming like…the next day. We would have some discussions really needing to happen.

  • This reply was modified 6 years ago by  mrs.akjp.
Post # 88
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

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ABL12490:  I don’t feel like that’s fair to say…that if a guy takes 3-5 years to propose then something has to be wrong.

I think it all depends on what period in your life you start dating. My SO and I have been together for 5 years and aren’t engaged yet and nothing is wrong, we’re just young when we started dating. If we’d gotten engaged after 1 year I would have been only 21. No way was I ready for a marriage that young!

Not saying people shouldn’t get married young…but it definitely wasn’t for me or my SO for that matter.

Post # 89
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

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LilaGrayce:  That makes me feel better. We started dating around that age as well, and it’ll likely be out 8/9th anniversary before engagement due to school. It can be scary seeing other people like, setting strict deadlines and stuff

Post # 90
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

We have been dating for almost 2 yrs.

I think for me in my situation, two years from around now (would be abt 4 yrs of dating…he’d be 32 and I’d be 29..grown ass adults haha we are going on 28 and 25 now) my own mental deadline, and honestly thats a stretch, hopefully he will ask within the year. I just say two years just in case it really took us a whole year to get settled in together since i just moved in with him after being long distance for almost two years. And we could get settled in just a couple months…but if its 2 years later cmon …we will have been living together, i will have made a comittment moving to his state and id need my comittment from him. He knows I feel strongly about living together before marriage. I’m happy to be living together though, i just made it clear that i didnt want to be living together for super long as just bf and gf.  wouldn’t break up with him if he didn’t propose in 2 years. I think I would just accept that it was going to happen but just not yet, but I think I would Def get my own place until he did propose so that I wouldn’t resent him and to make myself clear that I meant I wouldn’t be living together long if he didn’t come through in time. But I’d do that for the health of our relationship, not to be sarcastic by moving out. But, I feel like because we want the same things and because he loves me and respects how I feel about it we will be engaged in time ….. it’s not looking like right NOW per say but prob sooner than I think!

  • This reply was modified 6 years ago by Profile Photo hrtsnstrs.

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