(Closed) How long are you willing to wait for a proposal from your BF?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 91
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

If we reached the point that we were stagnant in our relationship and we hadn’t talked about a timeline yet, I’d try to bring it up and figure out what was on his mind.  I wouldn’t give a deadline or end the relationship over it unless it reached the point where we weren’t going anywhere and whenever I brought it up, the topic was brushed off.

My cousin has been dating her boyfriend for 7, almost 8 years.  They aren’t engaged and aren’t planning on it for at least a year or two.  My BF and I have been dating for 7 months and have been talking marriage for about 5 of those months, seriously for 2, and I’d be surprised if we weren’t engaged by next summer.  It just goes to show how different relationships are!

Post # 92
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was engaged within 4 months of meeting my H and married 7 months after that. If a guy wants to marry you, he will do it without delay! I would never have waited more than a year to get engaged.

Post # 93
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

I have just hit the 4.5 year mark, but have gone ring shopping in the last 6 months and got a video from our jeweller of the diamond I picked out, so at this point that is the only thing keeping me from going crazy.  (we are both 30)

Post # 94
Member
48 posts
Newbee

View original reply
mrs.akjp:  Completely agree! I have been with my boyfriend for five years, and I don’t have a ring – however, he completes me and I love him dearly, I know he feels the same way about me. We are best friends – and his friends have asked him if he will marry me, and he says he intends to marry me, but does plan to propose until after we have finished education. 

Therefore, there isn’t anything wrong with our relationship, just because he hasn’t popped the question. I don’t anticipate a proposal for another 2-3 years, although if he asked now, I would be over the moon! And would obviously say yes

My older brother on the other hand plans to propose at the end of the month to his girlfriend of two years, yet they live together, have a pet, are both in full time work and are considerably older than me and my boyfriend.

I wouldn’t put a time frame on a proposal, I know that I am ready to be fully commitment for the rest of my life to my boyfriend, and I know he feels the same way. But at the moment, people would consider us too young to get engaged and we both would prefer to get a house together rather than have a wedding. 

Post # 95
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Beach

My Fiance and I talked about it and were 100% committed to the idea of getting engaged. He popped the question on our 3rd anniversary. We started planning with very little money.

He got a new better-paying job this year, and we both agree we wish we’d waited longer to get engaged. 

Post # 96
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I have been dating my BF for 3 years and we have both been through divorces and have kids from previous marriages.  My daughters live with me half the time and are 13 and 16. His daughter has graduated from high school and is about to start college.  I realize that it can be difficult to blend two families, and so I was very careful even about introducing my BF to my girls until we had been dating for over 6 months and just took things very slowly.  Fast forward 3 years later and we are still in exactly the same place that we were in the beginning.  No signs of living together or marriage any time in the near future.  

Recently I brought it up to him and he said that he had no desire to get married again, and even living together stressed him out and there would have to be a co-habitation agreement in place etc.  It just seems like he isn’t serious about our relationship.  I have had to work really hard to get him to open up to me over the past 3 years, as his divorce really hurt him emotionally and damaged his ability to open up and trust and love again.  I want him to want to move forward with us and to not be so scared, but at the same time, I am frustrated because I guess I feel like if he loved me the way I love him, he wouldn’t be so scared.

I just don’t know how long I am willing to wait for some sign of commitment.  I want to be with him, to build the rest of our lives together and to plan for our future, but he just doesn’t seem to either be ready to do so, or doesn’t want it.  How do you know which it is?

Post # 97
Member
277 posts
Helper bee

SO and I have been dating since I was a sophomore in HS so we never set a time frame. We’re waiting until I’m done with gradschool (so close) so we don’t have to worry about planning around school, but we have picked out rings already and have done some very minor planning. My HS friend set a limit or 6 months and said if they weren’t engaged by then, she’d be gone. She actually found someone who was okay with those time restraints 😂

Post # 98
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
lola21:  After 3 years I think you can safely conclude that it’s not just that he isn’t ready. He’s told you straight up that he doesn’t want to get married, please don’t count on that to change. If marriage is something that you want he is not the man for you.

Post # 99
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

We’re going on five. I used to think 3-4, but now I realize I just want to be with him forever regardless of a title… But I’d be bitter lol. We’re getting married only because he knows it’s important to me so that’s what the long wait to propose is for.

Post # 100
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I waited 6 1/2 I would have waited longer. I’m slightly offended by PPs implying that he loves me any less than their SOs who didn’t wait as long. I’m 24 he’s 29, we would have never been able to afford the wedding we want 5 years ago. 

Post # 101
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We have been together 5 of the last 8 years- 2 years, then reconnected, been together the last 3. I’m blessed to get to share a life and soon- a marriage with him. He means the world to me, and I know I’m the world to him. We just took the scenic route to get here, and I’ve loved every minute leading up to where we are now. 

I think life is going to work out, regardless of however many time lines you put on yourself and try to put on someone else. 

Post # 102
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
BridetoBee2017:  I’m in agreement with u on this! I waited 6 & 1/2 years and I was getting antsy but I don’t think that means he didn’t want to marry me because we didn’t do it any sooner…! The comments of “oh if he doesnt do it by X time then that means he’s not a real man or doesn’t know what he wants.” Ehhh bullshit… 

my advice, wait as long as u feel comfortable with, it’s all based on individual circumstances, if ur relationship is solid, and ur happy and ur SO is happy and things are great without the ring then stop putting pressure on urself and just let it happen shen it does.. And it helps to have open lines of communication so u both know where ur headed together in ur relationship..

Post # 103
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
Cheekie0077:  amen! Our engagement will be 2 1/2 years long. Longer than most of these women are willing to wait for a proposal. We will be married on our 9 year anniversary! Slow and steady wins the race!! 🙂

Post # 104
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

After 4 years I have no promise of a future. no engagement, no baby, no i love even. We can’t legally get married because we have finance issues and i still haven’t gotten divorced from my first husband. mostly because i am the only one working. so i don’t expect a ring. I just want some form of commitment by now. I am going on 39 yrs old. Planning on getting my divorce shortly. finally was able to located the ex. i really need some advice please.

Post # 105
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

It was supposed to say i love you and locate. I was typing to fast.

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