(Closed) How long before children?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh my mother is a fan of this conversation. She’s dying to have grandkids. I usually tell people the truth. Maybe in 3 or 4 years. Or if you don’t know or don’t want to, say that, too. The couple times my mom really pushed it I pointed out how unready we are. I asked if she was planning on paying for a bigger place to live and my student loans, etc. She said no. End of discussion.

It does get old quick. But just respond as honestly as you’re comfortable with.

Post # 4
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We tell both mothers we are not sure we are having kids. We do plan on it, but that shuts them up pretty quick and they stop bringing it up.

But really, you should say “when we are ready. We want to enjoy our marriage first” Say of over and over and over. As soon as you stop giving details they will stop asking as often.

Post # 5
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are planning to start trying after a year of marriage. We’ve only been engaged a couple months and are already getting that question, people like to ask all sorts of questions. I say be honest, if you haven’t discussed it yet just tell them you haven’t planned it at the moment or that you aren’t planning out your entire lives just yet and it will happen when it happens.

Post # 6
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ironically my Future Father-In-Law specifically requested we not try for kids right away- which is exactly what we’re planning, it’s just really convenient to not have the “give us grandbabies!!” cries. We haven’t gotten much yet b/c the wedding hasn’t happened, but we’re just going with “we’re not at that point in our lives yet, we want to enjoy being married for a while first”. We’re both working on our doctorates at the moment, so I think we have a fairly good excuse 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

we are trying start of spring 2013 and are getting married in november so if i were to fall pregnant the very first day of spring i would be 10 weeks pregnant day of wedding

Post # 8
Member
4367 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Well, we’re not engaged but this is a major topic of conversation.  SO wants children before he’s fourty. He’s 34 soon.  So probably asap after we get married, because he could take another year to propose. Procrastinator much.

Post # 9
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re going to wait a year after the wedding to TTC, but only because we want a little bit of time together as a married couple before adding a baby to things. If we’d been together longer before now, we’d probably start right away, but we’ve only known each other about a year.

Post # 10
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Fiance and I planning on waiting at least 2 years after we get married before TTC (although if we had it my way, it would be more like 5+ years. Fiance wants to have a child before he’s 35 and he’s 31 right now. I have so many things that I’d like to do before I have kids). Future Mother-In-Law has already told me on more than one occasion that she and Future Father-In-Law are really looking forward to being grandparents. My parents are the opposite. My mom has encouraged me to not have children until both Fiance and I are ready and has said she would be perfectly happy if she never became a grandparent if that’s what will make Fiance and I happy. She has also said that she isn’t ready to become a grandparent right away though.

Post # 11
Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re going to wait 2-3 years. I hate to even wait that long but my fiance is going back to school, and we want to make sure he’s well under way in his program before we TTC. It sucks bc I wanted our first kid before we’re 30 (we’re both 29) but this way we know it won’t be so much of a financial burden.

Post # 12
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I have a strict 2 year rule and everyone close to me knows that.  If a kid pops up before that then o well but I would really like some time with my husband to get used to married life and travel and live a little before we tie our hands with kids.  Don’t get me wrong, it is my biggest dream to be a mother but once you are a mother it never goes away so I would like to be more mature and have a chance to just be a wife for a bit.

Post # 13
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well people were asking this before the marriage,  both of his brothers had kids so pressure is off.  I would tell them something like oh, well I only just got married we’d really like to enjoy our time together.

We might start trying to have kids in 3-5 years.  Well see what happens.  We are not in any rush at all.

Post # 14
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The Fiance and I don’t plan on having kids until at least 30, at the very least. I don’t want to have kids though until I am 35. Why 35? Because my mom didn’t have me until she was 37 years old and I am in no rush to have little mes’ running around. 

When people ask me when I am going to have kids I am always going to come up with something clever. My first response is, “I can’t have kids…I’m dead inside.” And smile all sweetly. To be honest, it is no one’s business when I decide to pop a kid out, so they can wait, they’re not the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months, have a God awful birth and then rear it for the rest of my life. 

This may all seem nasty but eh, this is just how I feel to be frank.

 

Post # 15
Member
901 posts
Busy bee

We’ve been saying we want to be married a year first, but I think that’s likely going to go out the window. I don’t want to wait and I doubt SO will want to either. I’d be open to waiting a little while if we we were getting married sooner than it looks like we are, but he hasn’t even proposed yet and we’re in our mid 30’s.

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