(Closed) How long did you date before getting engaged? Was it right for you?

posted 12 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How long did you date before getting engaged?

    Under 1 year

    1-2 years

    3-5 years

    6-8 years

    8-10 years

    10+ years

  • Post # 3
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We dated for 2 years 4 months (not that I was counting ๐Ÿ˜‰   I read a study in the last six months that marriages where the proposal was 2 years after starting to date were most successful.  They didn’t spend much time discussing the reasons, but did hypothesize that 2 years give time for appropriate bonding and progression of the relationship.  The mean was actually 2 years and 4 months!  Oddly, that statistic makes me so happy.

    I couldn’t respond to the poll because there was no 2-3 year option.

    And BB- I agree in your case, waiting was entirely appropriate!

    Post # 4
    398 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

    We dated for 1.5 years before getting engaged. It was the perfect amount of time for us because we had been through so much. I moved, my grandfather passed away, he purchased his first home, etc, so we were really able to see each others emotions before the engagement.

    Post # 5
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    We were together for just shy of 4 years when we got engaged.  We have lived together for almost 3 years at the time, so that amount of time was just perfect.  We’d been through a lot in those 4 years.  Now about a month and a half from the wedding, I couldnt be more at ease.  We will have been together for 5 years within a few weeks of the wedding and I think that’s provided us with a great foundation.

    Post # 6
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We dated for 2 years and 9 months before getting engaged ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Although we were sort of unofficially (no ring) engaged at 2 years 6 months! haha

    Post # 7
    1379 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    2 years 2 months for us!  I think it was perfect!  We had been living together for exactly a year.  My mom had somewhat joking/somewhat serious given him a years deadline when we told them we were moving in together without being engaged … looks like he listened to her! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 8
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Engaged after 5 months, married at 1 year, 4 months. It was perfect for us, although I know some wouldn’t want to move this fast.

    Post # 9
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I think there are so many different reasons to factor in, so that no one length of time would be right for everyone.  It’s really great to see that everyone is happy with the length of time they were dating!  I would have started getting antsy after too much longer!

    Post # 10
    631 posts
    Busy bee

    Two years and two months for us! 

    @Doctorgirl — I read that study too!  It said that the most successful marriages come from relationships where the couple got engaged after about 2 years.  It also noted that the chance of a couple getting engaged goes up and up until about 25 months, peaks, and then starts going DOWN.  In other words, the chances that the guy will propose to a girl actually go down the longer they’re together (without being engaged) after two years.  Wild.

    Post # 11
    37 posts
    • Wedding: September 2009

    2 years and 6 months :o)

    We both knew that we wanted to spend our lives together and it was the right time. I’m happy with the amount of time we were dating first.

    Post # 12
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Fiance and I started talking seriously about marriage after four years together and got engaged around the five year mark.  When we did get engaged, we were at a point where we both really wanted to get married.

    Post # 13
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    i agree with doctorgirl — there really isn’t a one size fits all time scenario, IMO. Fiance and i dated for about 5 years before he proposed for practical reasons — we started dating shortly after high school and we didn’t feel like we’d be ready for marriage until we were done for school. if we started dating after college, that probably would have been a different story =). i do appreciate that we’ve had so much time to get to know each other and be with each other…some of the later years already felt like we’d reached that level of commitment anyway so marriage now is just a natural continuation of what we’ve been nurturing and growing all this time.

    Post # 14
    2403 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    oh my gosh BeachBrideT we’ve got alot in common… he proposed on our 10 year anniversary (we started dating my sophmore year in high school ) and i swear EVERYBODY kept asking those exact same questions on when we’d get married.. it was so annoying!!!

    we knew we were getting married at some point but want to wait till he graduated from school and his residency. we’ll be together for 12 years when we get married and i’m so happy i was able to basically grow up with my future husband!!

    Post # 15
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I admire those who have been with their SO for so long…Both me and my Fiance were in serious relationships prior to getting together, so by the time we actually did start dating (we were friends before dating), we knew exactly what we wanted, and knew that we could give each other that. I definitely agree with doctorgirl- everyone has to make their own choice, no matter how long that might be. My grandparents met and married within 6 weeks of knowing each other and they have been married for 52 years. Sometimes you just know- sometimes time will tell more than intuition can. It depends on the person. Almost immediately after Mr. Lytical and I started dating, we knew we would get married. We knew each other so well already, and everything just fit. We got engaged 4 months after we started dating and will be married in a year. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 16
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    We were a little over 5 years – and I knew it was in the future but he actually surprised me by asking before I finished grad school. I’m so glad he did because the surprise (even at 5+ years) made it worth it. Also, we’ve now been to a lot of weddings and been able to pick and choose from what we liked and didn’t – it’s certainly made planning easier as we both have some common frame of reference. Best of all, I’ve enjoyed the 6 years of non-wedded relationship so much that I know it will get even better when we’re married but I wouldn’t trade it for the world – it allowed us to grow up, grow closer together and get pumped to get married!

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