- 12 years ago
- Wedding: May 2020
My fiance and I met in high school, and we dated for quite a while before getting engaged. We dated all through college, and 6 years after college before getting engaged.
In the years before our engagement, we had so many people, from friends to coworkers to family members ask us when we were getting engaged.
"So, when are you two going to get married?"
"Any plans to get engaged?"
"Aren’t you two going to get married already?"
I even had someone explain to me that perhaps my Fiance wasn’t proposing because we already lived together, and as the saying goes, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" (Meaning why would my BF at the time propose, if we already lived together and already acted almost married, so he gets all the good stuff without that true commitment.) Don’t worry gals, I replied to this obnoxious comment by saying, "Yes, why WOULD I buy the cow when I get the milk for free? Maybe I’m happy to get all the good stuff without that commitment…" While that wasn’t necessarily true, I was appalled that this person assumed that I wanted to get married and my boyfriend didn’t– rather than realizing this was a mutual decision!
The thing is that my Fiance and I started dating when I was 17. So if we had dated for 2 or 3 years before getting engaged, like most people deem "typical," we would have been engaged at 19 or 20! I was way too young and immature at that age to get married. I am SO HAPPY that my fiance and I took as long as we did to get engaged. We went through many life changes together, and we have realized that we are able to change together and grow together in the same direction, without hindering each other’s growth. I think this is an important test for a relationship, so I’m happy that we dated such a long time. Plus, again, it makes sense to date so long when you meet so young. I understand that if you meet your Fiance at age 25, you don’t necessarily need to wait 10 years!
So for those of you who dated for quite a while before getting engaged, did you always have people questioning your decision to wait so long? Are you happy you waited & did you both feel the same way?