Post # 1
I’m just curious to know how long did y’all date before getting marriage? When did yall talk about marriage?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 1/2 years. We’ve talked about marriage and both really want it; however, have not had deep deep conversations about it…which I know may seem odd. He brings up marriage but yet we haven’t talked about the deep stuff. I can from an African family and usually you don’t have these types of conversation until you’re actually engaged. Me being raised here, I believe that it is essential to discuss marital stuff prior to engagement. I feel like by now, we should have already figured all this stuff out. Nowadays, people tend to live together before marriage. I am currently live by myself. I’m used to having my place, space, money, account all while having a boyfriend. So I guess my question is how must one transition their mindset from “in a relationship” to “marriage”….does this make sense?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 2
We dated 5 months before getting engaged and will be together about 2.5 years when we get married next week. I have know him for 12+ years. Everyone is different. If you have questions or concerns, bring them up to your SO, being ready for marriage should mean being ready for those conversations.
Post # 3
We were together for 4.5 years before getting engaged. We will be together for 6 years by the time the wedding happens.
We are currently in the middle of transitioning stuff together. I don’t live with him but I am in the process of moving in and in the process of figuring out finances and such.
I’ we always been the same way you have been and I’ve liked it that way so doing this had been somewhat of a challenge, but I am excited to start a new chapter with him.
Post # 4
Early on, we both were clear about our values and life goals. Even when we were dating, Fiance spent a lot of time at my place, and I was able to see how he would be as a live-in partner. Maybe you can bring up these topics as “something you read” (maybe don’t mention weddingbee just yet) and see what he thinks.
Post # 5
We’ll have dated between 2.5 and 3 years before marriage, so I didn’t vote. I think living together and being a parental figure helped the whole transition to marriage.
Post # 6
we were together for 1 year and 8 months (it was the end of the month, so pretty much one year and 9 months) when we tied the knot. We’ve been together now for three years
Post # 7
We dated for 5 years before engagement. We’ll be married at roughly 6.5 years.
Post # 8
Eirene00: We dated for a year and a month, husband asked on Easter (he asked me to be his girlfriend on Easter 2013) and we got married a month later. HOWEVER, we had a child together in the process of dating and marriage, so I think when we got pregnant, we got into the mindset that we were married and it stayed like that until we got married legally. We lived together as well, which helped. We discussed marriage before we found out we got pregnant, and had planned out our future together by the year. Then we found out I was pregnant and marriage was delayed, but we still planned on getting married.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2014 - Sedona Golf Resort
Eirene00: I dont think you should put too much energy into “transitioning” until he proposes. Although you have discussed marriage you are still his girlfriend, not his fiancé and there is a difference. I am not the patient type, I dated a guy on and off for almost 3-years but believe when you know, you know; so when a ring or a proposal didn’t happen I moved on. My Darling Husband and I dated and lived together for 18-months before we married.
Once you have made that commitment to one another, it will not be hard to release your independence and merge your lives. It requires trust and honesty that comes with a deeper level of commitment. Until then, do your thang and have fun.
Post # 10
We got engaged after about a year and been together for 1.5 now.
When we get married we will have been together for a little over 2 years
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2015 - Private lodge
We’ve known eachother 3 years. Dating 1 year 3 mos. will be Married just shy of 2 years dating.
Post # 12
Eirene00: Please discuss the important issues before engagement. You may discover either you or he have some deal-breakers. Don’t wait until marriage or engagement. You may find yourself stuck with an impostor.
Post # 13
Our 6 year anniversary is 3 days after our wedding in March. We will have been engaged for 18months by the wedding date. We have lived together since about the 2 year mark.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2015 - Golf Course
We were together 5 years before getting engaged, will be together 6 years when married. We met while I was still in high school 🙂 He wasn’t though, he’s two years older than me.
Post # 15
beemyname: yes I totally agree! It just feels kind of awkward randomly bringing it up but it needs to be done! Thanks