Post # 1
I just got engaged earlier this month. It was a low key proposal at home sans ring. We have been talking about getting something custom designed but the more I look into all my choices, the more overwhelmed I become. (No wonder men freak out about this stuff!)
So I want to know, for those of you who did not have a ring at the time of your engagement, how long until you got one? I am wearing CZ rings until I find one I love but I have a feeling its going to be a while.
We have not made an official annoucement to anyone other than our families because he feels weird about not having a ring for me yet. I personally could care less. I just want something I know I am going to be happy with for life so I want to make sure I make the right choice. Is it weird to go like 6months to a year without my “real” ring? Are his friends going to judge us because they all did it the “traditional” way? I think that is what he is worried about. That he will come off as a scrub because he didn’t have “everything together.” Again, I don’t see it that way but you know how sensitive men can be.
Post # 2
He wanted to propose to me wiht a ring but my parents spoiled it so we got engaged early and he re-engaged me once he goot the ring (by then we were already looking at wedding venues ;)). it took about 2 1/2 months for the ring. Those months SUCKED! Not because *I* couldn’t wait, but because I couldn’t wait for this crap to end:
“WHERES THE RING???”
“We don’t have it yet!”
“hah…and you said yes???”
“i’d never say yes without a ring!”
“is it really an engagement?”
“are you ever going to get a ring or are you doing something else?”
Post # 3
audrey_lane: Thanks. That’s exactly why we haven’t told any of his friends yet. I’m afraid that’s the reaction we’d get. All the women were proposed to with beautiful rings so we’d be the only ones to do it this way.. Luckily we don’t see people too often so maybe we won’t have to deal with that as much
Post # 4
ezasabc123: we got engaged in April (we put my ring on layaway) and I got it in August. When we put it on layaway our daughter was only 3 months.. And we were catching up on other bills. So those months were long and we waited until the end of April to announce when we got engaged Since we were spending Easter with his family (3 hours away). They were very long and I went on ahead with planning the wedding. So worth the wait though!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
ezasabc123: Engaged late Dec, ‘ringed’ mid May. I had it picked out, he was just taking his sweet time Was it a bit awkward? Yes, because people kept grabbing at my hand. Did I feel like I wasn’t engaged? No, but I got a little annoyed re the timing by about April (I was honestly concerned that someone else might buy it, there was only one) and I could see my mum getting worried about it (he was dropping in her estimation somewhat, water under the bridge now).
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
A friend got engaged without a ring and most of us just didn’t beleive her. It was almost a year later until she had a ring and a “real” proposal and they started actually planning anything. I personally wouldn’t accept a proposal without a ring – at least a temporary one. Maybe get a band you like and tell people you’re working on designing the ring together?
For me, I wanted to know he was 100% serious and took the time and effort and put an investment into it before asking.
Post # 7
About three months from the time we got engaged untill my ring was finished…..I was married 3 months later.
Post # 8
ezasabc123: We had the ring, it was in my jewelry drawer, and he proposed without it (because he proposed 4:30 in the morning) but the ring ended up being too large, so it had to be sized down. I wore the ring for one day to show everyone, and then went around with no ring for three weeks, the week before we got married it came back, got to wear it for that week, and the day we got married and then sent it off to be soldered. So didn’t wear it for another few weeks.
Post # 9
ezasabc123: He didn’t officially ask me until we got the ring but, he told me he was planning to propose about 5 months before he did it. We spent that time looking at rings, doing some preliminary planning, and trying to free up our schedules enough to go on vacation to get my ring.
We didn’t get awkward questions like “Where’s the ring?” because we didn’t announce to people we were engaged.. We announced we were planning to get married. I tend to march to the beat of my own drum so most people probably assumed I wasn’t the engagement ring type and didn’t ask any questions or make stupid comments about being ringless.
Post # 10
My FI and I got engaged without a “proper” ring. It happened so fast and we were engaged right out of high school so I wore his class ring while I attended college. As an anniversary gift, he got me a small diamond promise ring as a placeholder.
So many people didn’t believe we were really engaged we just kind of let the whole thing go quiet and kept it between us. In my family, you aren’t really engaged until the parents give their blessing (mine didn’t, since we were so young) and you have an “acceptable” ring.
FI and I were broke kids with no jobs so he’s been saving now that he has a career and I’ve been working as an intern for a company while attending school and saving my money from there. Now the ring we ordered is on its way and it will be official with my family the weekend of October!
TL;DR — FI and I didn’t have money for an acceptable ring due to our young age when we got engaged, so we’re keeping it on the downlow until my ring arrives. 3 years without a ring!
Post # 11
ezasabc123: I think I win. We got engaged last December and I still don’t have a ring… I’m pretty confident I’ll have it for our wedding in March (LOL) but knowing my FI it might be down to the wire. He proposed without a ring because his friend is a jeweller and he’s agreed with him to make the ring to my own design. To make things difficult I love vintage style and wanted an old fashioned illusion cut diamond with a quite ornate bezel setting.. combine that with my FI being notoriously (and adorably) unable to manage his way out of a paper bag and I’m still waiting. The reason I’m waiting at least is quite romantic….
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
My sister got engaged on Sept 9th, their one year dating anniversary. Her then BF knew she wanted to help pick out the ring but he wanted to catch her off guard and surprise her. My dad used to be in the jewelery business, her BF went to one of my dad’s jeweller friends and got a temporary fake engagement ring. He took her on a boat cruise and after the cruise while they were driving he parked at a random spot because it was almost midnight and he wanted to do it before their anniversary was over and he got down on one knee and pulled out the temporary ring and asked her to marry him. She was surprised and shocked because she didn’t think she would be engaged until they went to look at rings. Now they have been engaged a little over a week and are going to pick out her engagement ring probably in the next week or so.
Post # 13
I got engaged when I was 19 and we didn’t have any money. My FI proposed with a ring he had at the time, and bought me a “starter” ring that month. Which is what I showed people when we told them we were enagegd. I was never in love with that ring and have looked for a replacement since we are older now and better off financially. I think I finally found one that I love and we are looking at purchasing it soon so that it will be in our wedding pics. 🙂
Post # 14
ezasabc123: For your case, I like the saying, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”. I think it would be awful for his friends/family to judge him for not having a ring! I’m not saying it won’t happen – it might – but anyone who judges you or your partner for that is a jerk.
(For what it’s worth, I’m actually considering not wearing a ring. I know my partner is getting me one, but I’d feel wrong for him to walk around looking single while I’m taken. Either we both wear rings, or neither of us will! We’re pretty unconventional, though.)
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I voted “a few months” for my sister. Her FI proposed with a family diamond, and then the put off picking out a setting for about a month or so. Then once they got the ring, it was too big and had to be sent off to be re-sized. Since it’s a tension setting, it’s a very long techincal process. I still haven’t seen the ring on her finger and it’s been 3 months.