How long did you have to wait?

posted 4 months ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We started dating 6 months after we met, aged 19 and 20. We dated through college then moved in together and lived together after 2.5 years of dating. We got engaged at almost 26 and 27 after 5.5 years together. We will be almost 27 and 28 when we get married in June of this year after 7.5 years together.

I went to a college where it was normal for people to get engaged very quickly and it hurt me whenever I saw other people get engaged before us, when dating for less time. We fought about it a lot more than we should have. It’s one of the reasons I started going to counseling. We fight a LOT less after getting engaged.

Post # 32
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I spent a few too many years waiting on a past boyfriend to be ready and continuing to promise me things he was never going to follow through on. I knew how much that hurt me and I knew I wasn’t going to settle for that again.

When my husband and I started seeing each other I was very honest from the get go that I did not have an interest in dating for fun anymore and that I was only interested in pursuing a bigger commitment than that… It was helpful that I was honest about my intentions from the start and also the fact that he is 8 years older than me and more ready to settle down than past partners I’d had in relationships.

We dated for about a year and a half before we got engaged and then we married a few months later. 

Post # 33
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

forlorn :  We were together only a few months before we started talking about getting engaged and married. I had just turned 22 and my then boyfriend was 26 when we met. 

After about a year and a half we seriously started talking getting married and engaged. We started talking about rings and everything. He proposed a little before 2 1/2 years together. Married at 3 1/2 years together. When we got married I was 25 and he was 30. I don’t think we would have moved so fast if my husband was my age lol. We would probably still be dating. 

The whole “waiting” process wasn’t too bad for me because we talked about getting engaged and we had an open dialogue about it. Now, I don’t think it’s good to talk about it all the time. But I think it’s important to not be afraid to talk about your future together. 

Post # 34
Member
3346 posts
Sugar bee

I was engaged to my college boyfriend. I did it to appease him, but I really didn’t want to get married and my heart wasn’t in it. We had been dating 1.5 years. But I broke up with him after I graduated. With my husband we got engaged after 6 months. When you know, you know. So I never waited, but I know I wouldn’t have the patience to do it. It’s just as well because I think waiting is really damaging to a woman’s self eateem and the relationship itself.

Post # 35
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

mel2 :  Haha! Isn’t it crazy? Virtually “love at 1st sight” right?

My husband told me he said to himself on our 1st date, “Now “that” is the type of woman I could see myself married to.” I told him he’s crazy.

Took me a week longer to admit to myself that it was something rather special to him for a self proclaimed forever bachelorette to reconsider marriage.

All you can say, if your story is different like this, is….”when you know, you know.” 😉

Definitely not the norm and if it didn’t happen to me I’d be skeptical as all hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post # 36
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee

We got engaged after a year. We were 27/30 at the time and we were both at settled places in our lives, so we definitely moved faster than we would have if we’d been younger or still reliant on our families or something. We started talking about marriage within a few months of dating, but I was never “waiting” exactly; he proposed sooner than I thought he would. 

ETA: Bee, I went to your post history. Your bf straight up said he doesn’t believe in marriage and is full of excuses. I don’t think he’s gonna propose. Soliciting stories from women whose partners took a long time to propose isn’t going to help your situation. Smell the coffee and move on. You deserve to be with someone who can’t wait to marry you. 

Post # 37
Member
307 posts
Helper bee

We met when I was 20 and he was 22. My best friend hit on him at a college party. We met again 21/24 at another party. Another good friend of mine tried hitting on him. He had a snake at the time and all my friends were taking pictures with it. Met a 3rd time 6 months later at 22/24. We clicked. Moved in together 2 years later at 24/26. Engaged 5 years later at 28/31. 

Post # 38
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

We were together/had known each other for a little over two years when he proposed. We talked casually about getting married throughout the relationship, but finally one day I sat him down and explicitly told him that I was ready whenever he was. He proposed about three weeks later. So I guess I really only officially “waited” three weeks. We’re 27 and 29 years old. 

Post # 39
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

we were already dating for 5 years when i decided to ask him to marry me so we could move in together and start our lives. two months later he proposed and a month later we had a court marriage and moved in 🙂

Post # 40
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Had the talk around 1y, big fight on 1,5y and almost breakup, cool down for another 6m, then he decide he’s ready and start talking about the ring. My waiting phase was only after he got the ring, maybe around 1-2month, but he did planned something special lol..

Post # 41
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

2 years into us dating. But I think this comes down to what you want for yourself and out of your relationship. I went into it telling him from the begining that I was looking for something more than just a fling (i’m in my thirties). And culturally, we couldn’t live together or be at family events unless we’re married, so that’s what made marriage an important factor. Hasn’t changed how we interact or perceive each other, or the demands we put on one another. Hope that helps!

Post # 42
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I have been waiting since December 2018 officially (when he bought the ring)  but really since September 2018 (our 1 year anniversary) is when the boyfriend told me he wants to marry me. We have been dating shy of 1.5 years. I am 27 and he is 25. We moved in together at 3 months, so we got pretty serious pretty quickly so the wait is killing me! I should be appreciative that I haven’t been waiting THAT long and I know he will propose in 2019 but not sure when! Good luck with your waiting bee! 

Post # 43
Member
7919 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mel2 :  

Yes, us too. No ‘waiting’ at  all . Moved  in,  married in three months . We are still l happily  together a hundred years on , though we did separate  for 6 monhs  – around the  three year mark I think it was ..

So I have no experience of and no real understanding of ‘waiting’. In fact I am rather intolerant  of the whole idea of women waiting for a man to set in motion their joint future – surprise proposals that apparently need months of planning , put offs until ‘finding the ring you deserve ‘  most of all men buying  rings and holding on to them, ffs  ,  and all that.

Of course I’m sure there are plenty of women who would be equally intolerant of our  way –  instant marriage, plain metal rings, and courthouse wedding  costing about 20 dollars, no honeymoon.. 

Post # 44
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We were together for 6 years before my dh proposed.. 2 years later we got married 🙂 we were 29 and 36. My dh is generally slow moving with things in life but we’d already had heaps of discussions about getting married so I was happy with that. Still felt like I was waiting from about the 4 year mark though lol, but worked for us.

Post # 45
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

Ours was pretty early into the relationship. I actually didn’t wait for a proposal at all, it was extremely surprising. But you know it when you know it, so I said yes after 1 month of official relationship. We had been seeing each other for 2.5 months at that point and we attended the same high school so I knew him a little bit before. 

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