How long did you have to wait?

posted 7 months ago in Waiting
Post # 46
Member
5393 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

We were together for close to 8 years by the time we got engaged.  We started dating at the beginning of college and I would say I was only ready to be engaged maybe a year before him.  I did a regular degree but my SO had to go through 8 years of uni and training before he was qualified and working so he was a bit behind in terms of adulthood compared to me as I had been out of uni and working since 21.  We were 26 and 27 when we got engaged. 

I wouldn’t say I was waiting really or that the process was difficult or hard but there was a few months when I accidentally read posts on the waiting boards and that definitely didn’t help.  The comments on the waiting boards are too cut and dry, everyone needs to do what is right for their own relationship and every situation is different. 

I live in a large city and it is not common to get married in uni or even right out of it.  Marriage is something you do here after you get your shit together and the average age is post 30. 

Post # 47
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

forlorn :  9 months from first date to engagement and then just shy of two years from engaged to down the aisle (we were not good at making wedding decisions!) xx

Post # 48
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

sunburn :  haha I’m the same, i’m notoriously impatient so I don’t know how I would have dealt with waiting, fortunately Darling Husband seemed to be perfectly happy to get on with it all as well! 😂 X

Post # 49
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I’d say I was actively waiting for about 6 months. We’ve been together for 3 and just got engaged, we’re getting married this summer.

Post # 50
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

We were together 5 years, started dating when we were both 29 and engaged at 34. So I did wait a while. But, we never had any arguments about it. We always discussed marriage in a calm manner. He had been previously engaged and his ex cheated on him, so I think he just needed more time, and he tends to take his time with things in general. If talk of marriage is causing arguments, that’s not a good sign.

Post # 51
Member
14 posts
Newbee

He proposed a day before our 8 year anniversary.  I would say I was unofficially “waiting” for 2-2.5 years. 

We were on the slow track lol. We moved in together after dating for 5 years. I went back to school which set our timeline back a bit as well. We had a couple discussions where I pretty much just asked what was happening and if he saw a future for us. 

It boiled down to he was fully committed but scared of the officalness of taking the next step and change. The conversation ended well, and I respected him so I decided to give him time and not push the issue. 

After a few months passed he wanted to treat me to breakfast and said he wanted to take me somewhere after as a surprise. He asked if maybe I wanted to go ring shopping to get an idea of what I wanted for a setting.

Later that same year he proposed (he had the final say on the ring- so it was still a suprise) while we were on our anniversary vacation. It was wonderful in that he was not pressured and everything happened organically.

Afterwards he said that if he could go back in time he would have done it a year into our relationship and we could have grown together all that while.

I was 30 and he was 31 when we got engaged.

 

Post # 52
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

We started dating when I was 24 and he was 28. We started off slow (neither of us had been in a serious relationship before), but once we got serious, it was pretty much established we were going to get married at some point. But not when. We had a few conversations about it over the years (casual conversations, nothing that caused conflict or fights), and then shortly after our second anniversary we had a conversation where we established concretely when we’d get engaged/married. For practical reasons, we settled on getting engaged approximately summer 2018 or fall 2018 (depending on when I’d close on my house). So that would be just after our third anniversary.

I closed on my house in August 2018, soon after our third anniversary. So that marked when I started “officially” waiting for the proposal. The next month and a half was SUPER busy, though, so I didn’t expect a proposal then, and he also checked in with me a couple times about it to basically reassure me he was still planning to do it, things were just so busy. Then we went on vacation overseas, and he proposed our first night there. So I was waiting for a month and a half, but it really didn’t feel like I was waiting at all.

Post # 53
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

forlorn :  we have been together for 1.5 going on 2 years. (living for a year of that time togehter). We talk about marriage all the time and im thinking no later than the end of the year to be engaged. Dated a total of 2 years. 

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