Post # 1
Just wondering how long you ladies who met your Fiance in your 30’s dated before you got engaged? Does your desire to have children make you shorten the “normal” time frame?
My boyfriend and I are 32 and 30 repsectively and have been discussing this. He has been married before and his ex wife decided she did not want children half way into the marriage and that is a major reason why they got divorced (along with many other things).
We both know that we are meant to be-neither of us have ever gotten along with someone else this well, we agree on child raising, finances, basic morals, etc and have discussed all of them at length, though we have not been together a year yet. Also we are both set in our careers making good money.
In my 20’s I would have said that I wanted to date someone for at least 2 years and not live with them until we were at least engaged, if not married. Now I am 30 and I feel like waiting 2 years to get engaged is…well not a waste of time…but neither of us are changing who we are at this point, so why bother waiting 2 years when we could get engaged after 1?
Post # 3
I was almost 36 when I met Fiance. Started dating in October 2010. had the “i’m looking for something long term/marriage/kids talk early on. Started looking at rings December 2011. By August 2012 we were engaged. We’re getting married August 12, 2013, so just shy of 3 years together.
I think anything over a year is fine – someone once told me you need to date the person thorugh all the seasons to really know them. I have found this to be very helpful. But to me, anything over a year is fine.
Get engaged if it works for you and get married 🙂
Post # 4
I met my DH in my mid 30’s and we were together 3 years before we were engaged. He is 3 years younger than me. We got married and had a baby within the same year. (Almost 2 yrs ago now)
Post # 5
My Fiance and I are 37 and 32 and have both been married before. Since my divorce (6years ago) I have dated alot and I have NEVER felt the way about anyone the way I feel about Fiance. We have only been together 5 months, however that’s not a concern to either of us. Before meeting him, I would have had a totally different opinion on getting engaged so quickly, but for the first time in my life the saying “when you know you know” makes complete sense to me!! We are planning on getting married May 19, 2014 which will be 1 1/2 years being together. I know in my heart and soul I am supposed to be with this man and he feels the same….. sometimes you have to swerve outside the line of what’s “normal” when that comes around.
Post # 6
Well, kids aren’t part of the equation for us (neither of us want to be parents) but we still went with a fast timeline.
We met in April of last year, looked at rings in early October, moved in together at the end of October and he proposed in December. As cliche as it sounds, we just knew. We didn’t really feel the need to wait, so we got married last month, after about 13 months of dating.
I’m another one who thought I’d want to date for several years before getting married. But I think that changes when you get older. I’m 36 now, he’s 39. He’s been married and divorced (his wife left him for another woman). We just knew what we wanted, and we are amazed we finally found it. I think there were also personal circumstances that maybe sped things up for me – I lost my father last summer and then had a falling out with one of my brothers and essentially lost him and his family as well. It sort of showed me that sometimes you just need to live life fully in the present.
Post # 7
My fiance is 32, and I turn 31 on Friday. We met last June (2012) and were engaged by December. We are getting married in August. Once we decided that we loved each other and we wanted to get married, we got engaged (he formally asked). We know we want kids and don’t see a reason to wait in order to fit society’s standard of “the acceptable amount of time to be together before making that decision.” We’re moving at a pace that works for us.
Post # 8
@Tatertot2003: you said, “but neither of us are changing who we are at this point, so why bother waiting 2 years when we could get engaged after 1?”
This was our logic. We are who we are. Why wait?
Post # 9
We met at 27 (well almost 28 for him) so a little bit younger than 30 but we still moved pretty quickly beause we didn’t see any reason to waste time. We moved in after 3.5 months and were engaged at 1 year. The 2 year mark will be our wedding date.
When I was younger I thought I’d have to date someone at least 2 years or more before getting engaged haha.
I think after a certain age you should know by 1-1.5 years or so if this is someone you would want to marry or not. I think getting engaged anywhere from 1-2 years is reasonable. I wouldn’t want to wait longer than 2 years though!
Post # 10
We met at 29 (me) and 34 (him) and got engaged about a year and a half later. (My 31st birthday, he was 36.) We’re getting married next month and will be 32 and 37. I always thought I’d date someone more than 18 months before getting engaged, but it just felt right.
Post # 11
I met my FH at 30. He proposed 5 years later. I’ll be 36 when we marry next year. Last summer at about the 4 year mark, I did let him know it was time to shit or get off the pot. It wasn’t driven by kids but more of my own desire to see this relationship through to marriage or get going in a new direction.
Post # 12
We met on my 36th birthday. We were married 18 months later (37 and 43 years old). We’re not having children together so kids are a non issue. We’ve both got one already and he doesn’t believe in having years long girlfriends. He said he realized after the second date that if there were no red flags, eventually I was going to be his wife. He only waited a year to propose because he knew that before that, I’d run.
Post # 13
I was 33 when I met my Fiance. we met in October 2009, we moved in together in August of 2011, we got engaged in July of 2012 and we’re getting married in August of this year. I would have waited for a lot longer because I am in such a great relationship I and I am just so happy. (didn’t even really think of getting married, we didn’t really talk about it)
Post # 14
I turned 30 last month and fiance is turning 30 in November. We started dating in April of last year and he proposed 9 months later. We both had a similar timeline of where we would like to be at this stage in our lives, and hope to start a family right after the wedding! 🙂
Post # 15
I guess I should add that we are currently TTC. I’m 38, Fiance is 37. We waited until close enough to the wedding that if I do get a BFP, I won’t be showing yet and will still fit into my dress.
Post # 16
My fiance and I met when we were 29. We dated a year and a half before getting engaged. We will have been together 3 years when we are married. To me, this is perfect timing.