(Closed) How long do I have?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Pinksapphire:  You could wait, and if anyone asks, just say you are waiting for the photos to send them with the note.  That is why etiquette used to state you had up to a year, since photos used to take so long to get back to the couple.  Now, with digital they come faster. 

As for sending bridal shower and wedding notes together: each deserves a separate note.

Post # 4
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would write them all now, so you can send them as soon as you get the photo. But I’ve read that you have a couple months to send them.

Post # 5
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You should have done the shower TYs immediately after the shower, but since you didn’t, do them now. They should be a separate Thank You from the wedding.

I would not wait for the photos, though it’s a nice touch, the longer you wait to send TYs the longer people wonder if you received their gift.

Post # 6
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Pinksapphire:  Shower thank you cards should go out before your wedding. Wedding thank you cards within a couple months after your wedding.

I think you need to send out 2 separate thank you’s and do them now. Especially if you already have people thinking you are just not sending any out. At this point waiting any longer will just come across as you weren’t going to bother thanking your guests but since people were bringing it up you guys decided to after enough comments about it.

Post # 7
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i agree, 2 separate cards are needed.

i think its a little ridiculous that someone was antsy for a thank you after 2 weeks though… almost everyone knows the 1 year rule and while i think people generally expect to see them a bit sooner than that, i do not get worried if 3 weeks have gone by and i dont see a thank you card. 

ETA: maybe this person was antsy because you never sent out shower thank yous?

Post # 8
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Technically the one year rule is that the guests have up to a year after the wedding to get you a gift, but you’re supposed to write the thank you card as soon as possible after receiving the gift.  Some people write a quick little thank you note immediately and send the formal one a little later if they’re waiting for special stationery, pictures, etc.

Post # 9
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@brendaray2009:  It is not correct that you have one year to send thank you notes.  Guests have one year to send wedding gifts, most etiquette experts say 3 months max from the time of the wedding.

OP.  You should send them all NOW. Photo thank you notes are fine (I personally could care less), though you should never send your notes late, just so you can send people a photo of yourself.

You should send shower and wedding thank yous seperately.  Your guests attended and gifted you on two occassions, so it is really the least you can do.

Start writing and sending the notes today.  Do not put it off any longer.  It really won’t take you that long.  It should take less then 5 mins a note.

Post # 10
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You need to write a separate card for the shower and the wedding. Honestly, you need to get your shower cards out immediately. They should have gone out within a week or two of the shower. Just get generic thank you notes and get to work. 

You have up until 2 months to get your wedding thank you notes out, although you should have written notes for anything received before the wedding within a few days of receiving it. I would write a thank you at the same time that you cash a check, which should be done immediately so that it doesn’t mess up the giver’s balance. 

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