(Closed) How long do you think people should wait to have a baby, after marriage

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: How long do you think couples should wait before TTC, after marriage? Been together 2 yrs. only.
    Why not try right away? : (31 votes)
    30 %
    Wait 6 months. : (6 votes)
    6 %
    Wait at least 1 year : (38 votes)
    36 %
    Wait at least 2 years : (14 votes)
    13 %
    Wait more than 2 years : (16 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5662 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t vote because I think it depends on the couple. I”m struggling a little with this though because a few married friends have been like “wait this long wait this long etc etc” and I’m like… we’re over 30… is that really necessary!?

    Post # 4
    Member
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Whenever they’re comfortable and ready. It’s not my business when they start TTC. 

    FH and I will wait several years, but that’s our personal choice. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    It really depends on the couple. As long as they’re happy, who gives a hooey?

    Post # 6
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    This is, in my opinion, impossible to generalize. Some couples are ready at 2 years into a relationship, some aren’t. Other important factors are age, maturity, income, career and career prospects, insurance, etc.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Impossible to say I think. I know its right for me and Darling Husband now, thats all that matters 🙂 
     

    Post # 8
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think having at least 3-4 years as a couple (especially as a living together comingled finances couple) is really important before TTC. You’ll never get those years of baby-less freedom back, so i’d make sure you had time to become rock solid first. We’ve been together a little over 4 years, and likely won’t be TTC for 1-2 more years. And that feels fast to us!

    Post # 9
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I think it’s up to the couple but for me it was important to have at least two years of married life under our belt. We are past that point and we still aren’t ready. I took a parenting class in high school that said wait at least two years, to help you have a foundation for your relationship so that when the kids leave that isn’t all you have in common. That really stuck with me For some reason. Now I think that this was more aimed at couples who didn’t live together or date much before they got married but it’s a little nugget of wisdom that I felt worked well for me and my relationship, like I said everybody is different.

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think this is a personal choice for the couple; some people are pregnant while dating, some get pregnant during the engagement, some try right after but have fertility issues; some people are dealing with family and financial emergencies; you end up with a countless situations.

    I personally don’t think this is a very relevant poll since situations are so varied out there.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think it really depends on where the couple is in life. My Darling Husband and I wanted to get pregnant right away but I ended up being accepted into a program at school that is 2 years. We decided to wait until that is over and I pass my boards and get a stable job befor we TTC.

     

    Others I know were TTC asap and it worked for their situation.

    Post # 12
    Member
    46388 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    There is no one answer. A couple may have been living together before marriage and ready to begin a family on their honeymoon.

    Another couple may both be virgins, never have lived away from their parents, never had a roommate and need some time to adjust to sharing their lives and home.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I didn’t vote because there isn’t ONE answer for everyone. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I didn’t vote in the poll.

    Because I don’t think there is a PERFECT answer, as every couple is different, and have come together with different pasts / circumstances etc.

    However, as someone who is “of a certain age” (lol, over 50) and have therefore gone thru this phase, I will say that IT IS NICE if a couple can organize their lives to have “some just couple time” as Newlyweds before moving towards being Parents and a lifetime commitment to their children (Kids means aprox 18 to 20 years of transition / changes to the relationship for each child born… so the span can easily become 30 or more years, if you have a bunch of kids over a 10 year span for example)

    In my own case, I got married in my early 20s (circa 1980) and we had aprox 2-1/2 Years before we went on to plan our first pregnancy… then in our mid-20s.  Consequently, at the other end, my last child left home for University before I turned 50.

    Which was nice, because I’ve learned it is really really great not to be too old at the other end when the last one is off to college.  Then as a couple you can be young enough to go out and see what the world has to offer just the 2 of you… and still be active enough to enjoy it… because sometimes World Travelling requires a lot of walking, hiking, biking, kayaking etc.  Things that are a lot easier the closer you are to 40 than 60 or beyond !!

    Now, also based on my own life experience, I’d say that at least for me, I wouldn’t have wanted to have kids much beyond 35… so if a Bride is say 28 or older, then she might want to get on the baby-bandwagon sooner rather than later (statistically too, it is harder to get pregnant or have an easy pregnancy the older one is)

    Hope this info helps someone pondering the situation,

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    9631 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I didn’t vote, every couple is different!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2554 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I didn’t vote because it’s something that depends on the couple. And really, it doesn’t even have to do anything with being married because that’s not something that matters to all couples. 

    The topic ‘How long do you think people should wait to have a baby, after marriage’ is closed to new replies.

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