(Closed) How long does it take for sex to get easier?

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d suggest using lube, it does wonders. Also, give it some more time. It takes a lot of practice before you know what you want and what works well for you. The difference in our sex life from the beginning of our relationship to now is extremely different in a good way. It just takes time!

Post # 4
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@AB Bride:  I think you should visit your doctor soon-ish especially given that you’ve been married for a couple of months and you’re still experiencing pain.  Sometimes painful sex can mean that there’s something else is wrong. 

Post # 5
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

More forplay! It sounds like maybe he isn’t “warming it up” enough before you guys get to it. A woman needs a lot more time than a man to get the lady bits all ready for sex so have him work at it a bit more maybe?

I remember when Darling Husband and I first started having sex there was a significant… size difference. It was very uncomfortable for me for a while until we got used to each other and learned how it all worked. (Neither of us were terribly experienced.)

Post # 6
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If even a tampon is painful, I would talk to your doctor sooner than later – it may not be a big deal (I know several girls with cysts or fibroids that cause those sorts of problems -they’re totally benign, just a pain to deal with), but its worth getting looked at just in case.  

Post # 7
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I definitely suggest lube!!  It makes everything go so much easier, especially outside the actual vagina.  I still need lube most times, and we’ve been married 8 months.

Try adding more foreplay time.  Don’t rush the actual intercourse part.  Just enjoy being intimate and enjoy being passionate with each other first.

If those two things don’t help, I would suggest then contacting your gyno. 

Post # 8
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would talk to your doctor sooner rather than later.  It worries me a little that tampons hurt you.  Better safe than sorry.

Post # 10
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’ll admit, we’ve been having sex for years (ahem) and it still isn’t always 100% comfortable. I think it’s more of a position/fit thing. Some positions are much better for the fit. (I can’t think of a better/less awkward word, lol). If this isn’t Too Much Information, have you tried a few different positions to help?

If you’ve been to the Dr and it’s nothing serious, then I definitely second (third? fourth?) the lube suggestion. I’ll just say this… stick to the plain stuff if you’re prone to yeast infections.

Post # 12
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


@AB Bride:

I cant have sex because everytime it hurts like hell…feels like my insides are tearing apart, and everything hurts….I saw doctors, done research…finally I was diagnozed with Viginismus…I can’t even wear tampons…i did once and it got stuck and it was a horrid experience. My gyno says thats prolly why i had this condition (i was a virgin when it happened) ..she also said psychologically i grew up thinking SEX IS WRONG (pre-marital sex) . she says that effects me subcontiously.

Secondly…a friend of mine says the smaller the guys penis the less it hurts her…it could be u just need more time for your muscles to get used to stetching this much (that is kinda vaginismus…where ur musceled dont loosen up)

 Thirdly, your hymen might not be fully broken…some people it takes them a year of constant sex. My friend took her 8 months after she got married till it stopped hurting her.

 If you dont get a proper answer from one gyno…see another.

Best of luck…I hope it isnt vaginismus cus it is REALLY annoying and soo much work to fix.

Post # 13
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve been sexually active for a few years now, and I still get pain.  Not always, but from time to time.  My gyno says I have a tilted cervix which is most likely the cause.

Lube does help quite a bit though!

Post # 15
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@bbutterfly: The last time I went in for a pap I was talking to her about the pain, and she told me then.  She saw it in the examination I guess. 

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