Post # 1
Darling Husband and I were ‘intimate’ before marriage, but waiting until we were married for actual intercourse.
I’ve always known that there would be some pain for the first little while. I get cramps after inserting a slim fit tampon. I just thought that by now it would be easier!
I’m not using lube, but dryness isn’t a problem. It’s not like it’s unbearable, entry is usually a little bit painful and I can enjoy sex when we’re in just the right position. I was just hoping by now we would be able to be a little more adventurous!
I’ll bring it up the next time I’m at the doctor, but how long can this go on for before it’s considered abnormal? Should I be seeing the doctor sooner rather than later, or is it ok to wait it out a little longer?
Post # 3
I’d suggest using lube, it does wonders. Also, give it some more time. It takes a lot of practice before you know what you want and what works well for you. The difference in our sex life from the beginning of our relationship to now is extremely different in a good way. It just takes time!
Post # 4
@AB Bride: I think you should visit your doctor soon-ish especially given that you’ve been married for a couple of months and you’re still experiencing pain. Sometimes painful sex can mean that there’s something else is wrong.
Post # 5
More forplay! It sounds like maybe he isn’t “warming it up” enough before you guys get to it. A woman needs a lot more time than a man to get the lady bits all ready for sex so have him work at it a bit more maybe?
I remember when Darling Husband and I first started having sex there was a significant… size difference. It was very uncomfortable for me for a while until we got used to each other and learned how it all worked. (Neither of us were terribly experienced.)
Post # 6
If even a tampon is painful, I would talk to your doctor sooner than later – it may not be a big deal (I know several girls with cysts or fibroids that cause those sorts of problems -they’re totally benign, just a pain to deal with), but its worth getting looked at just in case.
Post # 7
I definitely suggest lube!! It makes everything go so much easier, especially outside the actual vagina. I still need lube most times, and we’ve been married 8 months.
Try adding more foreplay time. Don’t rush the actual intercourse part. Just enjoy being intimate and enjoy being passionate with each other first.
If those two things don’t help, I would suggest then contacting your gyno.
Post # 8
I would talk to your doctor sooner rather than later. It worries me a little that tampons hurt you. Better safe than sorry.
Post # 9
I’m not too concerned about anything major being wrong. I’ve had problems with my cycles for years and ended up having an ultrasound and some other tests and everything showed up as normal.
I’ll gave the lube a try, it can’t hurt! Foreplay isn’t the issue, it feels the same if it’s been 15 min or an hour. We’ve also been using (non-latex) condoms, I wonder if they are just too irritating.
Maybe my anatomy is just a little odd, I’ll try to make it to the doctor soonish.
Post # 10
I’ll admit, we’ve been having sex for years (ahem) and it still isn’t always 100% comfortable. I think it’s more of a position/fit thing. Some positions are much better for the fit. (I can’t think of a better/less awkward word, lol). If this isn’t Too Much Information, have you tried a few different positions to help?
If you’ve been to the Dr and it’s nothing serious, then I definitely second (third? fourth?) the lube suggestion. I’ll just say this… stick to the plain stuff if you’re prone to yeast infections.
Post # 11
The doctor was years ago, before I was having sex. So double checking won’t hurt!
We’ve tried a few different positions, but there aren’t too many that would work. I find I have to actually think about relaxing and need to be in a position where I can relax my muscles. I’m not tense from nervousness or anything, it’s just my natural state after a bit of foreplay!
Post # 12
I cant have sex because everytime it hurts like hell…feels like my insides are tearing apart, and everything hurts….I saw doctors, done research…finally I was diagnozed with Viginismus…I can’t even wear tampons…i did once and it got stuck and it was a horrid experience. My gyno says thats prolly why i had this condition (i was a virgin when it happened) ..she also said psychologically i grew up thinking SEX IS WRONG (pre-marital sex) . she says that effects me subcontiously.
Secondly…a friend of mine says the smaller the guys penis the less it hurts her…it could be u just need more time for your muscles to get used to stetching this much (that is kinda vaginismus…where ur musceled dont loosen up)
Thirdly, your hymen might not be fully broken…some people it takes them a year of constant sex. My friend took her 8 months after she got married till it stopped hurting her.
If you dont get a proper answer from one gyno…see another.
Best of luck…I hope it isnt vaginismus cus it is REALLY annoying and soo much work to fix.
Post # 13
I’ve been sexually active for a few years now, and I still get pain. Not always, but from time to time. My gyno says I have a tilted cervix which is most likely the cause.
Lube does help quite a bit though!
Post # 14
@SparklyBride2011: how did your gyno find out?!
Post # 15
@bbutterfly: The last time I went in for a pap I was talking to her about the pain, and she told me then. She saw it in the examination I guess.
Post # 16
@bbutterfly: I’m pretty sure it’s not vaginismus, unless it’s really mild. I can take tampons in and out no problem, I just get cramping shortly after putting one in. Sex is similar, there’s some pain on insertion almost everytime, but it’s tolerable. After that, as long as we’re both in a good position then it’s fine, but I want to be able to move a little more!
@SparklyBride2011: I think my problem is probably something similar. I’m hoping that it’s not my cervix and something that wil get better with time!
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who experiences some pain! I expected it the first time, and that it would last for a little while, but I didn’t think it would still be happening. DH isn’t here most of the time on weeknights, so we haven’t had as much practice as we would have liked at this point.