How long has your LDR been going on?

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

Jeez! I’ve been in an LDR for about a year and a half, and we’ll have been long distance for about 2.5 when we get married. At that point, we’re *going to* live together haha

Post # 3
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

Oh wow!

I feel for you! It must be really challenging! :/

Tell us more! How often do you see each other? How far are you from one another?

My fiancé and I have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 and a half years. My fiancé lives in California and I live in the South of Brazil. When it is all said and done, it is nearly 24 hours considering flights, layovers and time difference. We are closing the distance for good next month! Yayyyy! 

Post # 4
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2000

OMG so I am a nurse and I see LDR  and I think labor and delivery room lmao 😂 sorry !

Post # 6
Member
434 posts
Helper bee

Ours went on for 4 years or so, we’ve been together 7 years total.

Post # 7
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Nearing 4 years together, all have been long distance, bought a house together, wedding is next year, and we plan to continue the LDR for an undertermined timeframe. We are 8 hours apart & he comes home 2-3 times a month for 2-4 days at a time…..

Post # 8
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

We did 2 years, then I moved in. He moved out four months later for a temporary job position, so we had another 6 months long distance before I also found a job up there. Now we’ve been back to living together for about a month now. The ONLY time we plan to be long distance is next summer – depending on internship opportunities. But after that, we are completely done with it.

We would visit every other weekend, since we were four hours apart. 4.5 years total of being together.

I couldn’t imagine going on 12 YEARS! I would not have made it. I need a good amount of physical touch and quality time.

Post # 9
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I see that most commentors here are referring to their fiances; was it important to you all to get engaged before closing the distance? That is, did you feel the formal committment added an emotional closeness to make up for the physical seperation? Or would you feel the same about the relationship regardless?

I did five years long distance (800 miles) with my boyfriend while I was in graduate school. He had considered coming with me for those five years, but after a two month stay during my first year, he decided he had better job prospects in our home state, which was true. 

At the time I thought we managed the distance well, but in retrospect I think it became too low maintainance, to the point where the past year of living together has been disappointing for me because I feel he just does what he wants and hasn’t made adjustments for living with me and being a partner to me (and that includes getting engaged within a timeframe that was acceptable to me and not just him). It’s partly on him for being a bit oblivious and spoiled from living with his parents for so long. But it’s also on me for not standing up for myself more and not setting expectations for him. I had fallen into the “cool girlfriend” role because it was the path of least resistance, and for awhile it worked with my stressed and depressed lifestyle.

I don’t know if things would have been better if we hadn’t been long distance, or if the same issues would have arisen. But in any case I’ve had to take a step back in recent months to take care of myself and determine if improved communication skills can repair the relationship. I’ve set an internal walk date of August 1st to force myself to stop giving him chances and walk away if the relationship hasn’t improved.

Post # 10
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
girlfriendphd :  It was important to me to live together before engagement. So we closed the distance and see how  it works once living together and being “normal” before getting to the engagement and marriage parts. When we moved in together I viewed it as starting the relationship over in a way. He disagreed with this and thought I was being negative, but 6 months into living together he admitted that it was true. It is an adjustment. We didn’t struggle with the distance too bad but every relationship is different and I do believe that relationship would be the same even without the LDR. Difference is that in your case you would not have let these things go if you were not in LDR cause it’s easier to forgive when not spending a lot of time together.

We were in international LDR for 5 years. Good luck to You!

Post # 11
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We were for 5 years. We’re in the UK so the distance wasn’t all that far, relatively speaking but it was a 4 hour train(s). We met on holiday abroad, and did long distance while I was in college and uni, (unfortunately my university wasn’t any closer to his city than my parents are) I got fed up with the time and expense of travelling, and moved into his flat when I graduated uni, we got married just over a year later. It’s so easy now we see each other every day to forget all the effort we put into long distance!

Post # 12
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

The long distance part of my relationship just came to an end after nearly 6 years! My now-husband and I met during my last year of medical school, and then I matched into a residency program three time zones away from him. I just finished residency earlier this month, we got married a week later, I have a job starting in September in his city and now we are living together here. Sometimes I have to punch myself to check that all of this is real- it’s so hard to believe it all finally worked out for us!

Post # 13
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
lifetimegoals :  Oh hey! I always wonder if there are any other brazilians here! 🙂

 

View original reply
TinderBoxx :  That’s so sweet! But wow, you must be SO excited to finally close the gap! My partner and I have done about two and a half years of LDR, but it’s finally over for good and we’ve been living together for 2 months.

Post # 14
Member
16 posts
Newbee

View original reply
TinderBoxx :  technically a couple of years he and I started as friends when I was still married (yes yes i know) after the divorce I dated a couple of shaddy guys thats when he approached me and asked me to be his girl, ever since then weve been a couple. so a few years.

Post # 15
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2019

We were long distance for around 3 years and have been together now for 7.5 years. Luckily the two of us were not SO far since we both live in the states (he on the east coast and myself in the midwest-2 hour plane ride apart). I don’t know how you do it but I give you major props and am excited the end is near for you! I remember how it hard it was to have to go through such long periods apart and wouldn’t wish that on anyone. The day we moved in together was something I’ll never forget!

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