- 3 months ago
My boyfriend (35) and I (29) got into a super dumb fight last Sunday night.
Just to cut it short-I am back in school full time online, and I also work 60 hours a week. I just started school so it’s been a bit of a challenge to have a full plate and not get stressed. School, work, cleaning a house, the gym, plus trying to be an amazing Girlfriend and friend is a lot. Plus, I have a very messed up family who I havent seen in 7 years, and a very close aunt was coming to see me this past week and i was so stressed out about it. Not to add anything else, but I started my period and was a basket case.
Well my boyfriend is divorced, has a son, and still lives with his mom. (I know, it sucks and it’s hard but were saving for a house). Last Sunday, he came over a few hours ahead of his usual time. He has his son every other weekend, and has to drive him home (an hour) so he gets over to my place a bit later. He is a very bad at letting me know whats going on, so to me it pissed me off that he didnt tell me because i would have asked him to go to the grocery store so i could finish my homework so we had more time together, plus i get really annoyed when he doesnt share details of his ex, she is remarried, but a little bit of info would save me from being a psyhco.
I was just on edge when he came over I ended up snapping on him and told him to just go home or go be with his ex since shes been go great to him. I KNOW I AM A PETTY BIT**. I hate that I allowed myself to get so upset over NOTHING . I am never mean to him like this, I love this man with every fiber in my body. Trust me, I dont like fighting with him, but I just let myself get so pissy and stressed i took it out on him.
We are best friends and we have talked about getting married and buying a house together, just last week he was sending me zillow listings. This is a very serious relationship, BUT he tends to play the silent treatment game whenever things are not perfect. I have asked him why he does it knowing it hurts me, he has told me he gets overwhelmed and doesnt know “where to start” (i know i want to play in traffic too like say ANYTHING)! and he also said he started this at the end of his marriage it was his was of shutting down and not dealing with anything.
He has not spoken one word to me since last Sunday, so it’s been 6 days. He has not blocked me, he has not told me he is leaving or done (which he has before we have broken up for 4 months), and he has not cancelled the trip for my 30th in march to mexico. I have texted him a bunch of times telling him how sorry i am for snapping and being awful. I have explained why i did it and opened up and let him know how much pressue i have on me with school and work. I have also told him that we are best friends and his silence is hurting me.
I am at a loss right now. He doesnt have any friends around here, and doestn go out, so another girl being in the picture is the last thing on my mind. I dont know what to do at this point I have taken full blame for my behavior and I do not want to make him feel like my whipping post, but he does know how stressed out I have been.
He is the type of guy to act like nothing bothers him, but I have been with him for 3 years, so I know deep down his emtions and feelings are hurt but is afraid to admit it. He has never gone this long not saying anything though, and I am so afraid to losing him. He is a great guy, the only thing is that when we fight or we find ourselves in a rut, he clams up and it almost seems as hes punishing me. He has told me in the past that he isnt proud of the way he has treated me or handled things, but his behavior doesnt change.
I dont want to give up on him over this, if he was awful in other areas I would leave. We have an amazing connection, chemistry, and we have the same goals in life. Any advice on how to handle this?