How long have you been ignored by your partner after a fight?!

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
42 posts
Newbee

3 years.

Editing to add that it’s actually closer to 4 years. I don’t know, you stop counting after the first year.

Post # 4
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years in May, and he does the silent treatment as well. In 3 years we have had some arguments for sure. I think the last bad one was around June or July of last year. He usually shuts me out for a week, but not longer than that. 

This may sound a little crazy, and something that yall might not be up for, but have you considered counseling? After this last argument we had, I convinced him to go with me. We are both religious and I know a preacher who has a degree in counseling. I felt kind of embarrassed to go and thought what is wrong with us? We are going to counseling and we aren’t even married yet.

However, it really helped me to understand him better and to know how to handle conflicts in the future with him. Some people just need time to process things and to have the space to do that. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he isn’t planning a future with you. 

I hope this helps a little! 

Post # 5
Member
2291 posts
Buzzing bee

My husband has never ignored me after a fight. Neither has anyone I’ve ever been with. That’s not normal or healthy. Of course, neither was your telling him to leave and go back to his ex?!

Honestly this sounds like a mess of a relationship. You’ve already broken up before (over what I wonder?) and he is a 35 year old living with his mom. I’d take this as your exit cue. 

Post # 6
Member
42 posts
Newbee

lolo24 :  I am now free and single.

I have grown so much.

The silent treatment is disgusting and does incredible damage.

I personally will never ever be in a relationship with anyone ever again who uses the silent treatment.

Post # 7
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Like an hour? Time to cool off is one thing but when you’re getting into the days I think there’s a bigger issue that needs to be addressed. He needs to be able to communicate if he wants to maintain the relationship. 

Post # 8
Member
2002 posts
Buzzing bee

I can maybe understand a cooling off period of an hour or so, but 6 days?   Unacceptable.

Post # 12
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think like 30 minutes, tops. We communicate our feelings. After 10.5 years together it’s mandatory for a healthy relationship. 

 

Yours does not sound very healthy. Why does he deserve to be snapped at? Why do you deserve to be shut out for a week?

Post # 13
Member
42 posts
Newbee

As the years go on and you stay in this relationship, you will most likely find that the 6 days of silent treatment will start to turn into 2 weeks, then a few months, and more. Maybe years, like it did for me.

This will become ‘normal’ for both you and him, and it isn’t.

He needs to never do this to you again (which is unlikely), or else you need to leave. You deserve someone who values a relationship with you enough to communicate with you.

Post # 14
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

No my husband has never ignored me for 6 days in a row. Seriously?! FFS. Is this guy an adult or what? 

I get that you have a lot on your plate and are stressed. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to be pissy with him either. You two need to either break up or go to counselling to learn how to deal with your emotions better. 

Also, can you not go round to his house or something? If this ever were to happen to me, after 24 hours I would be forcing the situation. 

Post # 15
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

lolo24 :  he just says he needs space to think and process. He suffers from PTSD from being in the military and is on anti-depressants so that plays a role in it as well. We have had arguments since then, but somehow we’ve managed to talk it through. I think the counseling really helped us. 

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