(Closed) How long is too long

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
47256 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

HC_IC721:  Do you ever initiate sex?

Post # 3
Member
4080 posts
Honey bee

julies1949:  +1

Also, OP, have you ever expressed to your husband that You’d like to be intimate more frequently? 

Post # 4
Member
4095 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Why don’t you talk to him about it?

Post # 5
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s totally normal for sex to become less frequent as time passes. Try initiating sex, talk to him about it. He may be lacking vitamins, or may need to start exercising to get more energy. He might just be really overtired. Communication is key.

Post # 6
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

If either one of you is unhappy with the frequency, there is an issue that needs to be discussed.

Post # 7
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

I think as time goes on, it’s “normal” to have less sex. 

There’s like a million different factors to consider when sex starts becoming less. So I’d talk to your husband about it.

Personally I could go for months without sex haha (Though I don’t). Everyone is different. 

Post # 8
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If one person is unhappy with how long it’s been, then it has been too long. Have a talk with your husband- he might not even realize the frequency has decreased, but he also could be thinking the same thing! 

Post # 9
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Cory_loves_this_girl:  this OP. It doesn’t matter how long is too long for other couples. It matters whether it’s too long for either one of you two.

Post # 10
Member
6358 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

As PP have stated, you need to talk to your husband about this.  There could be any number of reasons for this to be happening, from health to job stress, but you need to discuss it with him.

Post # 11
Member
2108 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Talk to your husband. There are many reasons the frequency could have decreased. For us it’s been about 100% on my end with stress and being exhausted all the time, but my hubby is very understanding. Sometimes it’s him that’s to stressed. It’s just a matter of what’s right for you as a couple, but yes, it is not uncommon for it to decrease over time. 

Post # 12
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee

For me, too long is a week. Every couple is different though.

With my ex-H, we once went a year without being intimate.

Different people have different drives and throw in other factors like health, fitness, hormones and stress and it just depends on that very point in time.

Talk to your Darling Husband in a non-confrontive way. How is he feeling? Is there a reason he hasn’t been intimate with you? Is there anything you can do? (such as initiate more often) etc.

Post # 13
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

What do you do when you get home from work? Get into your sweats and no make up? Maybe he wants a little more romance… try lingerie or date night. How does he feel love by you? The five languages of love is great book to undestanding you mate and it helped our relationship so much! Hope it gets better for you 

Post # 14
Member
6863 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Have you told your Darling Husband that you miss being close to him? Maybe plan a relaxing evening conducive to intimacy? 

Frequency can certainly ebb and flow over time especially when one of you is under stress, facing deadlines, sick, etc. It’s best to talk about it now so that it doesn’t become your default.

Post # 15
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Is he under a lot of stress/pressure in his worklife? Does he seem okay in other aspects of his personality?

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