(Closed) How long is too long?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@EllieM:  If a wedding isn’t important to you, I would suggest asking him if he wants to skip the engagement and just elope. You can just get wedding bands and be married. If down the line finances are more in order than you can have vow renewal and reception.

Post # 4
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

hey there, welcome to the bee! I’m going to be very blunt and honest, your situation would not work for me – I don’t think I have the patience to stick around that long without living together or a ring or at the very least a very clear idea of where you are heading together and when.  That said, I am not you and I don’t think I am qualified to tell you what should work for you! I would agree with asscherlover that a good step may be to have a conversation where you let him know that finances don’t need to be an issue (maybe you would be happy with a ring and/or wedding that are cheaper than he thought?) but if you remove the financial excuse and that does not motivate him or he comes up with another reason or reasons to wait, I think I would be very concerned.  

Good luck!

Post # 5
176 posts
Blushing bee

@EllieM:  He should definitely commit on a greater level with you at this point. At this point he should be participating in the day-to-day childcare and he has had plenty of time to decide if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. 

Best of luck to you

Post # 6
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

i’m confused– what will change financially if you get married? all i can think of that would change is that you can share a room, so you probably pay less in rent!

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