(Closed) How long is too long to be waiting?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 46
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I never understood when people say “waiting”. What do you mean by “waiting”??

As long as you and SO are on the same page about wanting to get married, have an honest and open discussion about timelines  (when to move in together, when to get married, when/if to have kids etc.). You both may have to compromise on timelines, but as long as you know that he wants to spend his life with you and eventually propose that’s all that matters! Let him propose on his own time/way.

My Fiance and I had already talked about getting married so I was not completely surprised when he proposed as I knew it would happen one day, whether it be the day after or a couple of years later. It took him like 3 months just to pick a ring & plan the proposal! That’s not even counting the time it took for him to save for my ring!

 

Side note: remember that no-one (man or woman) wants to feel pressured into getting married….

Post # 47
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I’ve been ready since about the 1.5 year mark…mainly because I knew I was about to graduate and move to be with him ending our LDR…but was consumed with school so it didn’t really start taking over til the 2 year mark which was abt a month after I moved to his state and we started living together. We’re approaching the 3 year mark in summer …I’ve slowly learned go manage my easy goingness with the situation…but I can say I’m DEFINITELY not the person who can handle years and years of dating without marriage having happened. Nope. Not me.

 

Some can.

 

So it truly depends…and no one should feel bad about preferring either or being okay with one or the other. We are all different.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  bunny24.
Post # 48
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

miserableatbest:  i don’t think there is one right answer to this question, and it gets asked a lot on the Bee.

Every relationship is different. I “waited” 8 years, why? We met when we were 18/19, so we just started college. We knew early on that we would get married one day but when the time was right and that meant graduating college, getting stable jobs with a stable and good income, and get some traveling in between all that. I must say I never felt like I was “waiting” because we were always on the same page about getting married, so I knew that it would happen one day, and I didn’t care when it happened. Marriage was and is important to us, so it was just a matter of good timing, and stability for us.

So that may seem long but we had things we wanted to get in order first before getting married, so for us this was perfect.

I’ve read a few times that there are bees who are not willing to be in a relationship for yearrrrrs because they want to get married in a certain time frame, and I don’t think thats fair. Do you want to marry someone who is doing it to shut you up? Or do you want to marry someone who is truly ready for the lifetime committment? And its like you are willing to let go of a great person, a great life partner just because they are not willing to propose to you when YOU want them to. I don’t believe in ultimatums such as “if you don’t propose by Oct 10, 2016 by 3:00pm we are done!” —and there are people out there like that. You can’t put a timestamp on certain things.

 

Post # 49
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

RosaBride:  there ya go. guess you never know till you know 😉

Post # 50
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

Whenever you honestly think you will not wait longer. Everyone is different. 

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