(Closed) How long is 'too long' to sit on the ring?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How long is 'too long' to sit on the ring?
    A week : (6 votes)
    7 %
    A fortnight : (2 votes)
    2 %
    A month : (15 votes)
    19 %
    Two months : (8 votes)
    10 %
    Three months : (13 votes)
    16 %
    Four months : (6 votes)
    7 %
    Six months : (20 votes)
    25 %
    1 Year : (6 votes)
    7 %
    2 Years : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TopazTurtle:  My SO has had the ring since mid-February and no proposal yet and honestly I started to grow inpatient over a month ago.  He keeps saying that it has to be perfect and have meaning etc.  He’s had a ton of time to plan something but nothing yet.  The other day he told me maybe he’ll do it for his birthday because the best birthday gift he could ever get would be me saying yes.  The problem is his birthday is in August and I don’t think I can wait that long.

    Post # 4
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee

    @TopazTurtle:  I don’t have confirmation, but I believe SO has the ring in his possession, based on some recent events (previous thread with these events) however I know he’s not going to propose until AT LEAST August (most likely during the month of August, based on other hints) but thinking that the ring may be somewhere in our apartment makes me crazy enough.

    I think men see proposing as having a To Do list attached to it. Step one, since it’s usually the most expensive and the most important to do is get the ring. Step two is come up with something meaningful. Step three is plan details for proposal. Step four is execution. Seeing it in those terms, that they don’t want to jump ahead in the list until they’ve taken care of the step before, has made it easier for me to accept that there is still waiting to be done once the ring is in his possession.

    Post # 5
    Member
    131 posts
    Blushing bee

    @TopazTurtle:  My SO has had the ring since December and I’m losing my everloving mind.  I sometimes wonder if he is having second thoughts.  He says he wants to surprise me but to be perfectly honest, the element of surprise is gone and it has been replaced with severe anxiety.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @TopazTurtle:  my Darling Husband proposed the afternoon it arrived

    Post # 7
    Member
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @TopazTurtle:  my Fiance sat on my ring for two months. he apparently wanted to propose to me right away, but couldn’t. the reason? his brother was getting married and he and his fiance at the time got wind of it and told him 1) he couldn’t propose before the wedding (two months from when he bought the ring) and 2) he had to wait until at least two weeks after the wedding. he proposed to me exactly two weeks to the day after their wedding. -_-

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My husband had the diamond for months (like… 8 months) before we had the ring made.  I nearly killed him.  Once we got the ring made, it sat at home for 2.5 weeks until he proposed.  2 of those weeks he was out of town on a business trip and he proposed the day he got back. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1150 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My Fiance gave me the ring the day he got it… but it came later than it was supposed to. It is really important to most men to make it meaningful and special, but I don’t think they quite realize how stressful it is for us too.

    You could sit him down, acknowledge that you know he wants to make it special, but then tell him that you don’t have unrealistic youtube expectations and that actually being engaged is more important to you.

    I do think a lot of men feel pressured by these over-the-top choreographed proposals and think they have to do something cinematic or crazy. I was surprised when my Fiance told me how nervous he was- I mean, we’ve been together for more than 8 years, he knew I was going to say yes!

    Post # 10
    Member
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @TopazTurtle:  mine got the ring in February and proposed in April. In my mind I thought that once he had the ring I would be super chilled out as the ‘difficult bit’ ie waiting for him to save and choose, was over-he bought the ring-its going to happen! Not so much. He’s a really patient guy where as I am reeeeeally impatient so I found the whole sitting on the ring really frustrating. But I managed to not take it out on him (thank you bees!!) and in the end it was totally worth the wait and he even managed to surprise me. I totally know how you’re feeling though, but at least you’re on the home straight!!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    446 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    If he proposes when I think he will, he will have held onto it for 1 day shy of a month.  I understand holding onto it for a bit to plan and maybe wait for a special day or occasion or trip.  I think 3 months though should be the limit.  If you’re going to wait longer than a quarter of a year, why did you buy it so early?

    Post # 12
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Mine had the ring for about 3 weeks before he asked. He was just waiting for the right time to ask – I told him he was not allowed to ask me when I just woke up/was in PJs, and I also didn’t want some crazy spectacle.  I didn’t want to see my flannel pants and think “oh, those are the flannels I was wearing when he proposed”.  So he waited till the annual charity dinner that we go to came around and asked me then. 

    He’s also told me after the fact that there is SO much pressure to have a ridiculous YouTube proposal, the over the top grand gestures, that it’s hard to just ask in a sweet, low key way.  He knew I didn’t want any of that, and he was still worried that I wasn’t going to be happy with the proposal. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    4523 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TwoStatesBride:  wait, wait, wait: the bride and groom told your guy when they felt he could propose?

    @TopazTurtle:  I know that mine has had the ring for well over a week now…he is trying to convince me I’ll be waiting until August but I think it’s a trick 😉

    Post # 14
    Member
    3281 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    My Fiance waited about two months, for many of the same reasons as PPs: he wanted it to be a surprise (oh please! I saw that coming a mile away, lol), I said I wanted to be wearing cute clothes and have my nails done, and he wanted to wait until a time when I was about to see my long-distance family. It was the perfect amount of time!!

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    12250 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @badabing88:  plus one. I do not understand why some people think they own months of time around their wedding and that everyone else’s life should cease during those months. Do not propose during the wedding weekend or events of a close family or friend, but other than that…. Please! Get over it!

    Post # 16
    Member
    4523 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Tinatiny1:  Exactly. I mean, the guy should give his brother some credit: he *probably* knows not to propose at the wedding or the day before.

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