Post # 1
I’m interested in responses to what other bees think. DH and I have only been married a little over 6 months. Most everyone knows we are TTC and is supportive. However, Darling Husband has a few friends who think we need to “wait” some arbitrary length of time to enjoy being newlyweds.
I’m 36 and Darling Husband is 31. His childhood friends obviously know his age but not mine. They all assume I’m younger for some reason….we have a huge height difference.
The other day, one of his friends’ wives (she’s 29 with a 2yo) actually told me THEY waited 5 years. And thought WE should wait that long. I brushed her off like “I’m not waiting that long!” She said I should still consider waiting at least 2 years.
So is there some weird timeline I don’t know about? I’ve included a poll just for fun.
Post # 3
I haven’t voted – but I would think there shouldn’t be any type of ‘expected’ timeline. It’s totally up to the couple! Age, finances, maturity, lifestyle – so many things play into when a couple is ready to TTC.
I’m (almost) 24 and Darling Husband and I won’t TTC for another couple years, I’m sure. But if you are 36 and want children, I’m sure you’ll be starting well before us!
Post # 4
That’s ridiculous! There is no arbitrary time line that every couple should follow! Yes, when I see 22-25 year olds getting stressed about TTC right away, I can’t help but think, what’s the rush? You have plenty of time! But as you get older, yeah, biology plays a part too. If I’d gotten married when I was 25, I probably would have waited 3-5 years, but I got married when i was 29 and we are waiting 2 years. You have to balance the things that work for you, not someone else. Good for you for blowing her off.
Post # 5
This really depends on the couple but I don’t see anything wrong with trying right away or waiting years!
Post # 6
I think everyone is different, especially with age and what age you’d like to have children. I think that if you married young it’s a good idea to wait a few years to enjoy that newly wed phase and just get used to eachother and being married with no other responsibilities but eachother. A chid or even a pet for that matter adds stress and other responsibilities for the wellfare of another living soul that could cause stress to a young new marriage as opposed to a more mature older couple who are very ready for that next step because they’ve lived life more and perhaps grown out of that young still slightly immature phase. Just my thoughts. We’re young, mid 20s and will be waiting a few years for sure. But, If we were marrying at the age you and your Darling Husband are, we wouldn’t wait at all, maybe only a few months, so i think you’re just fine to go for it!
Post # 7
Couple should TTC whenever they are ready. Noone else can make the decision for you. I also think the age an financial situation of the married couple makes a big difference. Good luck on your TTC journey.
Post # 8
You can’t really vote on something like this since the answer totally depends on the couple. Personally, we wanted to wait a bit and achieve some of our goals before venturing into parenthood. We’re also a bit younger than you guys (26) so that could have something to do with it. If we were older when we married, it may have been a different story.
We’ve been married for a little over 7 months and we plan to wait another year or two (probably closer to 2). With that said, we have friends who didn’t wait at all and were pregnant almost immediately after their wedding. They’re the same age as we are and this worked for them.
Post # 9
I said 2-3 years, but I really don’t think there’s one answer for everyone. If we were older, I’m sure it would be less than that amount of time. Since we’re going to be 24, I think it’s the responsible thing to wait. If we were in our 30s, I think it’d be responsible to TTC right away, to increase our chances.
Post # 10
I’m in the camp that the couple should start when they’re ready. Personally, we wanted to wait a year or two and enjoy each other. We were also 27 and 28 when we got married, so we weren’t pressed for time by my biological clock or anything.
But you need to do what’s best for you. There’s no specific length of time that you have to wait, and I think your friend is really out of line. Just b/c she waited 5 years doesn’t mean you have to. Not to mention, you never know if you’re going to have trouble TTC. We had a ton of trouble, and though I half expected it (totally one of my fears), I’m glad we didn’t wait any longer to start.
Post # 11
I did not choose anything, because it really depends on the couple and I do not think there is really any rule to this. Husband and I have been together 5+ years before we got married and we got pregnant (by accident) right away. Now, despite it being an accident if I were to ttc, it would probably be right away. I am 27 and feel ready enough in our relationship to take that step. It is fine for us, but may not be fine for everyone.
Post # 12
I think it totally depends on age (and the couple) but age first. If you are over 30, I would definitely start right away because it can really help the process.
Post # 13
“Should” is a really hard word… I believe that every couple needs to make the right decision for them. As long as you and your husband have open lines of communication about TTC and feel ready (emotionally and financially), how long you have been married, how old you are, etc. really *shouldn’t* make a difference.
Post # 14
Definitely no one answer!!! Depends on the age and maturity of the couple, how long they were together before tying the knot, whether they feel ready emotionally and financially, etc.
Post # 15
There’s no right answer, for sure. Darling Husband and I got married at 21, and started trying after a year of marriage – we felt that we had waited long enough to adjust to our life together, but also didn’t want to wait too long because we assumed we would have trouble conceiving (health issues on my end).
I’d say that if you and your Darling Husband feel like you’re ready to start TTC, then go for it. People will be thrilled for you once you get pregnant, regardless of how long you’ve been married.
Post # 16
I guess it depends on what the couple wants. No one else should make that decision. My Darling Husband and I started ttc 3 months after the wedding, but didn’t get pregnant till a year of trying.