How long should I expect before I get pregnant?

posted 3 months ago in Waiting to TTC
Post # 2
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

That is a very hard question to answer as fertility and infertility seem to happen out of nowhere. I started trying at 28 and got pregnant easily but had 5 miscarriages before our healthy baby was born and that was over 2 years of testing, treatments etc. no cause was ever found and then my second child was born with no issues and not even when we were trying. I had no existing medical conditions or genetic issues from my testing. My husband is also healthy doesn’t smoke etc. 

I have friends in their 40s with no losses and conceived within 3 months each time and friends in mid 20s who took years and needed Ivf to get pregnant. It is one of those things where you hope for the best but prepare for anything. 

Post # 3
Member
3030 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Everyone is different. You may get pregnant within months, within the first year, or longer. 

When you’re getting close to thinking about starting to TTC, set a preconception appointment with your obgyn. They’ll be able to help you plan what you can do to make TTC the most effective for you with your medical history and concerns in mind. Your partner can also speak with their doctor as well on steps to take. Men can prepare and make lifestyle changes for TTC too. 

Your 20’s statistically are your best time for conception. Fertility decreases as you get older especially in mid 30’s on. Studies on male fertility as well are similar in the quality of the sperm over time. However, that’s not to say it’s something you and your partner should concern yourself about especially with no preexisting health and fertility concerns. Generally a doctor would look into fertility issues and specialists once you’ve reached a period of a year minimum with no results of conception. 

Post # 4
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
queenbre :  Honestly, it’s impossible to tell. It could happen first try, or it could take up to one year for a healthy couple to conceive. You also can’t possibly know if you’ll have any issues with getting/staying pregnant. 

I was 27 when we started trying, and while I got pregnant on the 3rd try, and quickly every time after that, I had 4 miscarriages. I’m overall healthy and they found no causes for the miscarriages. It took 14 months total to get pregnant with our sticky baby (currently 15 weeks pregnant).

Post # 5
Member
1825 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Conception, arguably, is the most variable thing for women in the history of mankind. Not a soul here can tell you how easy it will be for you. In my circle alone, three girls have been trying to conceive for at least 5 years with no luck and, according to them, it’s heartbreaking and completely unexplained by doctors as to why they are struggling. If conception was successful, it was followed by tubal pregnancies, miscarriages, and other tragedies.

The other two are myself and another girl who conceived with just one cycle of trying. We are both ~35 weeks pregnant.

The most common train of thought is that if it takes you more than a year to get pregnant, something is off. 

All of us are 25-29 years old. Age is a good baseline, but it’s not dependable enough for anyone to give you a clear answer. 

Post # 7
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

The others covered the timeline, but I’m going to chime in and say that a preconception appointment is a waste of time unless you have health issues you need to get sorted ASAP. I found my yearly checkup to be MORE than sufficient as a preconception appointment. All she said was to make sure to start taking a prenatal once we started TTC, have sex every other day during week 2 of my cycle, and try not to worry unless it takes 6+ months. It would have been very underwhelming to take off of work and lug myself to the doctor for that 30 second spiel. 

Now, if you’re on medication you’ll need to wean off of or have health issues you’ll need to manage, that’s totally different and you should absolutely get a plan in place. 

Post # 8
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
dianaj17 :  +1 – I tried to go to one and my doctor just said, “come back to me when you get pregnant.”

Post # 9
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

There are a lot of factors that you will have literally no way of knowing about until you try. My SIL who is 30 had several miscarriages before her first baby who is 6 months now. I’m 35 and got pregnant on our first cycle TTC. But again, I did ALL the things to TTC purposefully. Prenatals, pre mom app, ovulation strips, tracking, presses, and morning primrose oil tablets for the first part of my cycle. I’ve never had a miscarriage. 

So you never know the hand you will be delt. SIl has no idea why she had so many miscarriages. And a thing to keep in mind about miscarriages is that 20+ years ago you couldn’t even test for pregnancy until you had missed your period by a few weeks or more and most miscarriages happen in that window so early that you wouldn’t even know you had one if we didn’t have the technology to test so early now. So keep that in mind when everyone talks about how common they are. Don’t let that scare you. And some people don’t test for pregnancy until they are way passed a missed period for that reason. They don’t need to know about miscarriages that early. 

husband and I just got to the 12 week mark. And let me tell you I gave Into way more fear about worrying about miscarriage than I needed to. I looked up stats and realistically most miscarriages happen super early 0-6 weeks. So you get past that stage and have your first appointment at 8 weeks and everything looks ok? Try not to live in fear until week 12. Stats go way down for miscarriage after a first appointment where you see the heartbeat and doc says it looks good. It’s hard, but it just does no good to live in fear and think that because people say it’s so common that that has to be your experience.

What I’m trying to say is, just because women now openly talk about miscarriages when we used to hide it and be silent doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen to you. Don’t think that because it’s now talked about openly and you hear about it a ton that it IS going to happen to you. It’s great that we talk about it openly and share and support each other who go through it, but I can see how hearing about them more now might make you think it’s so common that you think it has to happen to you too. I thought that too at first. And it made for  a unecessarily stressful 12 weeks. 

So my biggest advice is, you can read other people’s stories, hear about other experiences, read articles, look at stats etc. but don’t be surprised if your experience or feelings don’t fit what you expected. Having expectations for pregnancy is a bad idea in general. Everyone’s experience is different. Know that you are going to feel unique to you. 

Post # 10
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

This question is impossible to answer. Your doctor can tell you if there’s any reason why you wouldn’t get pregnant soon (PCOS, etc) but even then they can’t tell you how long it’ll take.

Barring infertility issues and assuming you have sex during every fertile period, the time it takes to get a BFP is just luck/ divine providence or whatever you want to call it and could happen in 1 cycle or 14 like me (and I have no known fertility issues). I was 25 when I started trying and 26 when I got my “sticky” pregnancy (currently 22 weeks). 

Post # 11
Member
13050 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You never know if you will be someone who has fertility issues.  But don’t start trying if you are not ready now or think it will inevitably take months, either. A surprising number of women get pregnant on the very first try. I think it’s something like 25-35 %, more if you are timing things. 

Post # 12
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

Age is a factor of fertility but it certainly isn’t always the prevailing factor. In both men and women, age, weight, health and genetics all play a large role in TTC.  My husband and I are both 25 (will be 26 when our son is born) and got pregnant in 1 cycle of TTC. We have a friend who’s the same age and also got pregnant after one cycle TTC and on the other side of the spectrum we have friends who have been TTC for 2 years (since they were 23) and are now trying IVF. 

Post # 13
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I have multiple friends that got pregnant first cycle trying in their 30’s. I have others who have had fertility issues in their 20’s. There really is no way to be certain. 

Post # 14
Member
967 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
dianaj17 :  Another +1 to this.  My “preconception appointment” was a total waste of time (even though I love my doctor).  She basically told me to go out, have sex, and make it happen – and not to worry about it until six months had gone by.  She made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, really, which may have been to keep me more stress-free.

However, here we are at the tail end of the TWW of Cycle 6 with nothing to show for it.  I’ve been temping, checking CM, using OPKs, the whole 9 yards.  Granted, I’m 35, but I didn’t think I’d be here.  If we aren’t successful this month I’m making an appointment to investigate our options.

I was one of those women who really thought I’d get pregnant on the first try and I was honestly shocked when it didn’t happen.  I’ve gone through six months (which I know in the grand scheme isn’t long) of stress, frustration, lifestyle changes, guilt, etc. and now I’m 9DPO and don’t have the urge to test at all.  I’m just kind of giving it up to fate because it can be SO STRESSFUL.

Post # 15
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

There is 0 way to be certain. I have had period issues all my life. It isn’t uncommon for me to go 6 months or more without one. I’m on a streak with my period like that right now. I still got pregnant within the first week of my marriage. I have no idea how. I was 28. My mom also got married at 27 or 28 and couldn’t have her first child for 7 or 8 years even though they tried a lot. She had different reproductive problems than I do. There was some kind of intervention. I just don’t know what it was. I feel like she had some kind of endo from the description of “being cleaned out” but I couldn’t say for sure since she was never specific other than making sure I knew it took so long to have me.

I have no clue what it will be like if my husband and I TTC again when I  turn 32/33. You kinda just have to find out. Healthy adults can take up to a year though to conceive.

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