(Closed) How Long till you found your dress? Getting discouraged :(

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@michelejosephine:  Oh no, don’t cry! Don’t be discouraged! This is the time to stretch your arms and enjoy the fact that you have PLENTY of time to get this right. Over a year – the dress for you may not have even come out yet! What you’re seeing at the shops now isn’t what will necessarily be there when it’s time for you to make a decision. 

I got engaged on New Year’s and bought Dress #1 in January. I regretted rushing into it (first day shopping and I got the “whew, done with that!” thing going) and in April, I was able to send it back and get Dress #2. That one was a reaction to losing weight and suddenly fitting into a sexier mermaid dress and not my previous floofy ballgown. I jumped on a sale. And now, in June, Dress #2 is gone (too form-fitting, too modern, I was just straight-up uncomfortable with it for my wedding) and now I have Dress #3. I am done, done done – and it’s been an ordeal!

The reason I KNEW about Dress #3 is that before I went shopping again, I worked out very specifically what things about the previous dresses did NOT work for me. I had to understand why I was having the dress regret in the first place in order to get past it. It’s not always a parting of the heavens and the angels singing hallelujah. Your dress should be a studied, rational decision.

I know I am NOT settling – but I did feel rushed trying to figure out what it was to do after it became clear that Dress #2 is not it. I’m down to the wire here as far as ordering a dress and getting it here and altered in time for November 3. You have so much space – take a break from dresses for the summer, wait till the fall collections hit the stores and then regroup.

Everything will be all right :o)

Post # 4
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Don’t stress!  πŸ™‚  You have plenty of time to find “the one”!  I think I went to 4 places before I settled on a dress.  I had NO idea of what I wanted, I just KNEW I didn’t want lace.  And guess what I ended up with?  LACE!  LOL  Take your time, be patient! 

Post # 5
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee

Is it an issue of knowing exactly what you want and not finding it? Because sometimes a dress can be altered to look like what you want. Or having a bit of an idea and just not getting that feeling?

Either way you have lotts of time! Do lots of online research and try ot find the dress that ticks all the boxes!

Post # 6
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Don’t feel discouraged! I am sure your dress is out there just waiting for you :-). I started searching for a dress last year december and just purchased my LAST dress last week! I purchased 2 others before I found my dress. I did not have that “say yes to the dress moment” and cry or anything but I knew it was my dress because I felt content and beautiful and after I purchased it (which I was hesitant about because I had already purchased 2 dresses) I had no urge to look at other dresses. You will find yours!

Post # 7
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It will all work out!! It took me about a year to find my perfect dress, and I was feeling very discouraged as well. Take your time, don’t stress, and you will find your dress!

Post # 8
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Don’t let yourself down!! I felt the same way!! I personally think I was just going to the wrong bridal shops. I was trying to go to local bridal stores because I’ve never been a fan of larger companies (in this case, Davids Bridal). My last trip out of town to a small shop, I literally came home crying because of rude sales people, being completely let down, and not finding ANYTHING anywhere similar to what I was looking for. But alas, I finally gave up my anti-Davids Bridal scheme and went this past Saturday and viola! I found my dress! It was seriously the best feeling in the world to now after searching and searching, I finally found it! So maybe if you have reservations about a certain style of dress or where the dress comes from, try to get rid of it and see what you find πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It will work out, don’t worry! 

I actually went to 8 different bridal salons, trying on at least a dozen dresses at each one… this was over a span of 4-5 months. I finally found my dress during a trunk show – and I didn’t get all emotional, either. I actually felt a wave of relief – relief that I finally found a dress that I could see myself in, relief that the dress hunt was over, and relief that I knew that I would feel beautiful that day. 

And girl, I know how it is – it was the single most stressful aspect of the entire planning process. I stressed so much, thinking that I’d never ever find a dress – I was afraid I’d settle, or have to frankenstein a series of dresses together, but, patience is a virtue and I eventually found her – and I’m sure you will too!

Good luck, and post when you find her!!

Post # 10
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I tried on over 100 dresses before finding the one.  You will find the one.

 

Post # 11
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@louisianablue:  Me too! ( very close to it )

Post # 12
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@louisianablue:  Same here, pretty close to 100 dresses, if not more.  πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

After countless days & dresses I had found the style that suited me and I loved (mermaid/trumpet), after crossing out beach/grecian, ballgowns, a-line, empire etc. My sister almost had a breakdown. I thought I was going to have to settle for Adorae (Sottero & Midgely) even though I don’t like satin…..After obsessing over a dress Sloan – I ended up flying 1400km to try it as it wasn’t available in my area…..and finally had my ‘moment’!

Don’t get discouraged – you do know when it’s the ‘one’. Have a break and then go back to it as you have time on your side! πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
6543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I found mine on the first day, first trip, first (and only) store.

Don’t get discouraged. I think it has a lot to do with finding the right store for you. For me, I knew what kind of dress I wanted – lace, fitted, etc. I was pretty drawn to Maggie’s, so I found the closest shop that carried them. I visited the shop’s website and saw all the desingers they carried. From there I went through each designers website printing out dresses that I wanted to try on. I got to the shop and was pretty much sure I would go with Allure or Maggie. I tried on several dresses, and fell in love with an Allure. 

I was definitely getting a little frustraited and tired becaues it was hott, and my consultant sucked and was NO help. I decided to needed a break, so we went out to lunch and came back to the store. I put my two favorites on again, and ended up buying one.

For me, the biggest help was going in knowing what I was looking for, and knowing that store carried what I liked.

I personally didn’t consider David’s Bridal because based on their website, they didn’t have any dresses I liked, and I wasn’t impressed with previous trip there for other people’s weddings.

Post # 15
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I tried on over 50 dresses before I found mine. I never had the “oh my god this is my dress I knew it the second I put it on and am so excited I’m going to start crying” moment.  I’m more of a logical person, so I went through and realized that this dress had everything I was looking for and liked in other dresses, and knew that my chances of finding anything better were slim.  I guess to some people that would be settling. but really if I had waited until a dress made me cry I would have been naked on my wedding day.  The day of the wedding I was so happy with the dress and can’t imagine one more perfect.  

That being said, it sounds like you are just still looking for the one you want, so don’t settle, you have plenty of time!  But also don’t freak out if you don’t have that big moment some other people seem to have. 

Post # 16
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Thanks for your post. I was actually having this same thought the other day. It really can be discouraging trying on dress after dress that is just not it. Hang in there! There is tons of time yet and you will definitely be able to find something you love – even if it doesn’t involve hand flapping and tears πŸ˜‰

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